Jen has a bloody sore throat and a migraine headache that won't go away. The room I now sit in is a chaos of gifts and wrapping material. Christmas eve is upon us. I'm worried about Jen, but can do little about it, except try and distract the kids and let her get some rest. Of course, it's next to impossible to get rest when you're in pain. Why couldn't I have been the one to get sick? Dammit!

I got an unnofficial notification of my CBEST scores, excluding the results on the essay portion. I got a 75 out of 80 on the reading section, and a 71 out of 80 on the math. If I follow the explanation of the scores right, it doesn't matter what I get on the essays anyway, because the combined scores on the reading and math are already higher than the minimum score needed to pass.

The moon and clouds were beautiful tonight, but it was quite cold. The papers were 40 pages, which is quite tiny. We actually got Christmas bonuses too. ...and there was candy.

cds I listened to while digesting candy: Manilla Road "Spiral Castle", Fly Pan Am "Sedatifs en Frequences et Sillons", Sheila Chandra "Weaving My Ancestor's Voices", David Maranha "Noe's Lullaby", Mother Earth "Transitions", and Motorhead "On Parole"

now: Thighpaulsandra "I, Thighpaulsandra"

Like last week's loquacious security guard indicated, the security checkpoint disappeared over the weekend. The little booth is still there, but stands empty. Now anybody can just go right in. In fact, I saw a jackrabbit hopping around like he owned the place. Don't these people know that rabbits are a security threat? Look what they did to Australia...

Jen and I went and saw The Two Towers today (okay, yesterday, but you know what I mean...). Another three hours that went by too quickly, preceeded by 25 minutes (Jen checked the clock on her phone) of commercials and previews that went by much too slowly. The film twiddles with a few of the story threads from the book, but not annoyingly so. If anything, Peter Jackson has made it more suspenseful, and in some ways, more human. Not that I'm in any way maligning the source material, which still stands as one of my favorite books. It all makes me want to read more of the viking sagas...

cds I listened to while laughing at rabbits: Coil "20' to 2000", Mekong Delta "Pictures at an Exhibition", Mercyful Fate "Return of the Vampire", and Metallica "Garage Inc."

now: Paul Chain "Violet Art of Improvisation"

After the deluge of yesterday afternoon, the night was cold and mostly clear. I heard from a co-worker that there is snow on the hills surrounding the Bay Area, but haven't seen it for myself. There was another different security guard in the little security booth. This one seemed a little smarter than yesterdays guard. Still, the checkpoint is kind of like one of those clown cars - just when you think there will be no more guards, another one pops out.

I also managed to twist my ankle tonight. I wasn't even running when it happened. Now it's swollen and I'm limping. I uttered a few choice words when it happened.

cds I listened to while not putting any weight on my right foot: Sheila Chandra "Quiet", Fly Pan Am "s/t", Moller, Willemark & Gudmundson "Frifot", and Manilla Road "Atlantis Rising"

now: Sheila Chandra "Nada Brahma"

Here's a very astute quote from Bill Clinton: "How can they jump on (Trent Lott) when they're out there repressing, trying to run black voters away from the polls and running under the confederate flag in Georgia and South Carolina? Look at their whole record. He just embarrassed them by saying in Washington what they do on the back roads every day... I don't see what they're jumping on Trent Lott about."

It is thundering outside, and the gutters are flooding over. Jen's been having terrible migraines over the last couple of days, so I stayed home from the museum to help out. I actually managed to get out of bed early enough to take Lexy to school this morning, at which time the clouds where still merely threatening, albeit in a graceful sort of way. It was quite beautiful, with little curlicues of cloud marching across the sky.

Last night, the security checkpoint was still in place, with the fourth different guard in as many days. This one sat in his shack with a vapid expression, not seeming too sure of what action to take. finally, he pulled out his little flashlight, which he waggled in my direction. He then asked me to show some I.D., which is funny, because none of the other guards have bothered with this. I always wonder why there never seems to be any communication between security guards. Every night, they write down my licence plate number and call it in to some unseen supervisor. It's not like my routine varies. Why don't they just let each other know that the newspaper guy will be along at a certain time, so they don't have to look so befuddled when I approach the shack? It's irritating...

My front, passenger side automatic window has been threatening to cease functioning. It doesn't always roll up when I want it to. This is not good when it's pouring outside.

cds I listened to while perplexing the security guards: Sleepytime Gorilla Museum "live at the Bottom of the Hill, 6/21/02", Ian Carr & Karen Tweed "Fyace", Lena Willemark "Nar Som Graset Det Vajar", Do Make Say Think "Goodbye Enemy Airship the Landlord is Dead", Manilla Road "Mystification", and Coil "Love's Secret Domain"

now: Jim Matheos "First Impressions"

I woke up today just in time to see a short, but violent, hail storm. By the end of it all, there was enough ice on the ground to fashion crude snowballs. I have always loved violent weather. It serves as a reminder that we're not in charge, and it breaks routines. It also helps fill our reservoirs and turn the hills green.
Oh yeah, and it kills people. There was a short article in the paper today about a woman who ran off the road in the rain(sunday night?) and crashed into some trees. She either died on impact or some time later, but wasn't discovered until Caltrans workers came along to clear away the downed trees. This just struck me as particularly sad for some reason.

Okay, I can't think of a way to segue into a paragraph about Nathan's birthday, so I'll just blunder right on. He's four now, and we had a party at Chuck E. Cheese's. Jen, even though she felt absolutely miserable, saw it through to the end. I don't know if I could have done that, had I been as ill as she is. Sophie likes playing skee ball, but cheats.

Tonight, it rained off and on, and there was more lightning. It's even colder than last night.

cds I listened to while wishing I was dressed more warmly: Manilla Road "Open the Gates" and "The Deluge", Sleepytime Gorilla Museum "live at the Bottom of the Hill, S.F., 1/25/02", and Per Gudmundson "s/t"

now: Coil "Constant Shallowness Leads to Evil"

The night was alternatingly clear and cold, and spitting down rain. Most of the trees and branches from last night still litter the parking lots, but the lakes have diminished in size. For the second night, I had to stop at a new checkpoint before entering the campus of a certain well-known company that, amongst other things, manufactures weapons. I had resigned myself to having to stop at the damn thing every night from now on, but I figured I'd ask the guard if it was a permanent checkpoint. The answer: no, only until the weekend. Why? Because (guard's opinion) government inspectors are checking the company out and the extra security measures are just there to make the company look good.
Why is it that people, or conglomerations of people, only go that extra mile when they are being watched or think they are being watched? This is where threatening to punish your children backfires. It teaches kids to be sneaky. They focus on not getting caught rather than on changing the behavior. The threat of punishment doesn't teach children to do good because it is the right thing to do - it teaches them to do good because if they don't, somebody more powerful than them is going to do something bad to them. Then they grow up and become the heads of weapons manufacturing companies and only have tight security when they are being watched by somebody more powerful than themselves.
I'll now quote a line from one of my favorite films: "I am filled with confidence."

Of course, to be fair, this whole rant is only based on the opinion of one security guard. Maybe there's some sort of specific threat that made the extra security necessary. This doesn't make me jump for joy either. Why don't these companies make place mats or aquariums or something? Nobody would care if those got stolen, and they wouldn't have to hire all of these extra people to watch over them.

cds I listened to while once again swerving around debris: Godspeed You Black Emperor! "live at the Mercury Lounge, NYC, 11/6/99", Bathory "Nordland 1", Do Make Say Think "s/t", Tone Hulbaekmo & Hans Fredrik Jacobsen "Langt Nord I Skogen", and Kalenda Maya "Pilegrimsreiser"

now: Coil "Queens of the Circulating Library"

Now this is what I call a storm! I was going to settle down and read by candlelight, but the power just came back on, so I will now obsessively blog. I just spent a night swerving around countless branches, occasional downed trees, and a number of temporary lakes lurking blackly in benighted parking lots. I saw one or two toppled fences, a bunch of unidentifiable objects - probably parts of light fixtures - and one very dazed looking opossum sitting in the road. I had to make several detours to get around parking lots blocked by large, fallen trees or water too deep to drive through. Despite the inconvenience, it was all quite beautiful. Some of the roads were so choked with debris that I could almost imagine that they weren't roads at all. I hydroplaned most of the way home as waves of rain lashed the asphalt. I'm glad I got my car tuned up and my brakes re-fixed (they forgot to resurface the brake drums when I took my car in a couple of weeks ago). I payed for it all in an office illuminated by a shop light hooked up to a car battery. Everybody has been losing power over the last couple of days.

I can still hear the wind howling outside, and the night is lit by lightning.

Earlier, Greg and I (after helping our mom decorate a Christmas tree with pickles and rabbits and other odd things) traveled over the foggy hills to the fabled land of Felton, where we hiked about with Matt before retiring to the eccentric confines of the Saturn Cafe to discuss the upcoming Irr.App.(ext.) show. We're going to make odd noises and people are going to pay us to do it. Who could ask for more?

Then Greg and I came back here and Nathan nearly took out Greg's eye with a Christmas decoration. Despite all the rambunctious activity, nearly everybody in the house is sick. Jen and Lexy have it the worst. I am sending them healthy thoughts as I type, so that they may speedily recover. Lexy, the other night, after watching E.T. (which disturbed him) had a fever dream in which somebody was using E.T. as a croquet mallet. The dream scared him because he thinks E.T. looks "spooky". I wish I had cool dreams like that. The only dream I can remember lately is one where I shaved off my beard. How exciting!

cds I listened to while traveling to and from Felton and dodging tree bits: Shalabi Effect "s/t", Godspeed You Black Emperor! "Lift Your Skinny Fists Like Antennas to Heaven!", Tone Hulbaekmo "Kamma No...", Leif Edling "The Black Heart of Candlemass - demos and outtakes '83 - '99", and Manilla Road "Crystal Logic"

now: Lena Willemark & Ale Moller "Nordan"

It's raining outside, and the cloud cover has kept the temperature from dropping too far. I love the rain.

I'm glad that pathetic little nazi Trent Lott is stupid enough to let the general public know just where he stands on things. You would think that a party with people like him would cease to be viable. Instead, republicans are popping out of the woodwork like vermin, and doing more damage than vermin could ever hope to. I hate the fact that our daughter is going to be born into a world where people like George Bush are allowed to run things. I wouldn't allow little George to run an electric toothbrush. I just don't understand how anybody who claims to be intelligent can support this guy. If it weren't for his connections he'd be bagging groceries or pumping gas.

cds listened to while the rain drifted down: Loreena McKennitt "Live in Paris and Toronto", Tone Hulbaekmo "Svevende Jord", Lake of Tears "Lady Rosenred" and "Forever Autumn", Godspeed You Black Emperor! "f#a#infinity", and Lawnmower Deth "Kids in America"

now: Pete Haworth "Preserved"

It was another slow day at the museum today. I just sat with my spiders and watched the moon rise over the trees that line the Guadalupe river. It clothed itself in wisps of cloud as it slowly ascended. I spent a good amount of time trying to perceive its motion, but it always seemed to move during the times I was distracted by visitors.

At job number two, the papers were late, so this entry is a short one.

cds listened two roughly an hour and a half later that I would have liked to listen to them: A Silver Mt. Zion "He Has Left Us Alone But Shafts of Light Sometimes Grace the Corner of Our Rooms", Lacuna Coil "Unleashed Memories", Lake of Tears "Greater Art", and Tone Hulbaekmo "Kyrja"

We got to gaze at the life we created today. She (yes, she) is very active, swishing about in the amniotic fluid as if to say, "hey! I need more room!" It is a humbling experience somehow, to see this small, baby girl who is totally dependent on us for her well-being. She's not due to arrive in our world until April 15, but she's growing bigger as I type these words - even though she is still a resident of some other world that we have forgotten. I look forward to her arrival.

I did my last tour at Hidden Villa for the season today. I brought along the Black Widow and let her, and her egg sac, go in the wood pile near the goat pen. Good luck be with her.
The sheep were skittish. A little boy named Roy was knocked into the mud by one of them. He was not pleased.

I put out some of my holiday "service request" forms tonight. The idea is that the customers can comment on my service and, if they feel so inclined, tip me. I'll relate here any funny comments I get. Maybe somebody will rant. That's always amusing.

cds I listened to while selectively folding service request forms with the papers: Ghost "Tune In, Turn On, Free Tibet", Gila "Bury My Heart At Wounded Knee", Tone Hulbaekmo "Konkylie", Lacuna Coil "In A Reverie", and The Goblin Market "Ghostland"

now: In Gowan Ring "Hazel Steps Through A Weathered Home"

The tree is up and decorated, minus about two or three feet that had to be lopped off. Sophie takes great delight in yanking the strings of lights out of the lower branches. Hopefully she won't pull the whole tree over. My mom came over with ornaments for the kids. She drank tea. We drank Mexican hot chocolate. Life is good.

Jen and I braved one of the local malls today, and bought a few things. You know it's true love when I'll willingly go to a mall. Malls smell funny. The Christmas music is obnoxious. We grumbled together about the cookie-cutterness of our surroundings. Then we went home and ate burritos while listening to the Current 93 record I got in the mail today. Much better.

I saw that little owl again tonight. He flew away. What a nervous little bird he is.

cds I listened to while worrying owls: Loreena McKennitt "A Winter Garden", M. Gira "Living '02", Paul DiAnno & Killers "South American Assault - Live", Lacuna Coil "s/t", Masaki Batoh "Collected Works 1995-1996", and a cd that shall remain a secret

now: Sigillum S "Bardo Thos-Grol"

Outside, it looks and smells like it may rain soon.

The CBEST ended up being easier than the model tests in the preparation book. I'll be very surprised if I don't get a passing grade. I met a fellow worker, Kelly, in the mob outside the school. We must have been the only two Program Specialists at the museum not to have taken this test. A woman behind me was relating a story about a kid who bought a gum eraser and popped it in his mouth, thinking it was chewing gum. This was because the store where he had made the purchase evidently thought it was gum as well, and stocked it with the real gum.
That afternoon, I went up to Berkeley and saw Devendra Banhart perform at Mod Lang. He was quite entrancing, and very, very odd. Greg and Dawn were there too, and we ate crepes. Later, I bought a drink named Dave.

We went up into the hills and sawed down a Christmas tree today. Lexy's teacher, her husband, and their little dog came along as well. The weather was a lot warmer than we remembered it being during last year's tree hacking excursion. After a few side trips, we got the tree home. As I was getting it off the top of the van, I realized that it is at least a foot too tall to stand upright in our house. Tomorrow we must decide whether to lop off the top or the bottom.

I have to let the Black Widow go as well. She has produced another egg sac. I can't run the risk of the eggs hatching inside the house.

cds listened to while deciding where to take the Black Widow: Katatonia "Last Fair Deal Gone Down", Damon and Naomi with Ghost, Ghost "Temple Stone" and "Snuffbox Immanence", Coil presents Black Light District, and Vig Mihaly "Ciganydalok"

now: ELpH vs Coil "Worship the Glitch"

Today, the moon was a thin crescent, almost lost in the evening clouds.

I went to the semi-annual Hidden Villa volunteer appreciation party this (or should I say "yesterday") evening. Jen baked some brownies for me to bring but, due to her yoga class, couldn't attend herself. The brownies were yummy. The food table was sagging under the weight of various delectable delights. So was my plate. Soon after, so was my stomach. I felt well and truly appreciated.

Later, I surprised a small owl who was standing in the road. He took exception to my scrutiny and flapped lazily away.

cds I listened to while bothering owls: A tribute to Judas Priest, Vol.2, Katatonia "Brave Murder Day" and "Tonight's Decision", Alastair Galbraith "Talisman", Ghost "Second Time Around", and Heather Alexander "Midsummer"

now: Susanne Rosenberg "Uppa Marmorns Hoga Berg"

I had a cake with 35 candles on it. The boys got to lick them clean of chocolate after I blew them out. I get to sleep on new pillows tonight as well, and I have a cool new art set.

The Rat snake just shed for the second time since coming to join us. He's currently crawling around his cage looking for small mice. This means I have to go to the store soon. I took all of my spiders to the museum today, and sat with them in the garden. There were very few visitors, but those who did make it out found the tarantulas interesting. The Black Widow refused to eat in front of people. I spent the rest of the time collecting dead bees and studying for the CBEST. There were some good sized bees who looked like they were on their last legs, but I decided it was kind of creepy to stand over them with my little cup, waiting for them to expire. I forgot to go back and look later.

cds I listened to while anticipating a night of sleeping on my new pillows: Judas Priest "Hell Bent for Leather" (childhood nostalgia) and "Sad Wings of Destiny", Diamanda Galas "Malediction and Prayer" and "Plague Mass" (live at the Cathedral of St. John the Divine, NYC - Greg and I went there on a different date, and were duly impressed by the magnificence of the building - so much that we were later seen running around quite nude on Wall Street), and Paul Chain "Park of Reason" (a 90 minute cd! the last track is two songs, one on the left, and one on the right. Now that's value for your money.)

now: Loreena McKennitt "To Drive the Cold Winter Away"

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention - I'm now old enough to be president. Happy birthday to me.

Today was the second-to-last farm tour of the season. It consisted of nine first graders who, like most children their age, showed a great interest in cow flop. We found a fat Jerusalem cricket under a stump, and a few Darkling beetles under one of the foot bridges. Another stump gave us the opportunity to play Lorax for awhile, although it seemed that none of the kids had read the book. Why haven't most kids read The Lorax? Is it some sort of new conspiracy between public schools and the logging companies? Is George Warfare Bush behind it? What is going on here?

On the plus side, we got to eat sun-dried tomatoes fresh from the drying rack. Yum.

At the museum, I was studying the algebra section of the CBEST study guide when one of my co-workers, who had taken the test a couple of months ago, informed me that there wasn't a whole lot of algebra on it. It's just as well, I suppose. It's not a whole lot of fun trying to cram 12 years of math back into my head.

cds I listened to while not thinking about math: Ducasse compilation (disk 2), Judas Priest "Stained Class" (they once got sued for this one because some kid tried to kill himself with a shotgun after listening to it repeated times - Hey! junior is suicidal! It must be because of that damn heavy metal record. It can't be because we ignore him or because he's deficient in some way. Let's see how much money we can get from their record company), Rosalie Sorrels & Utah Phillips "The Long Memory", Diamanda Galas "The Litanies of Satan", Falu Spelmanslag "i stoten", and Heather Alexander "Life's Flame"

now: Corvus Corax "Die Konig der Spielleute"

I used to have to keep telling myself that life is a journey, not a destination. Then I would ask myself, "what the hell am I doing spending so much time engaged in activities (such as work) that hold no intrinsic appeal?" Why indeed... The trick is, of course, to find ways to liven up those moments of necessity induced tedium. This is why there is always a list of cds at the bottom of each entry. You can make me deliver papers, but you can't make me think about delivering papers. I am usually worlds away from the task at hand. I enjoy being out a night. I love watching the seasons change. I love listening to music. I don't have time to focus on things that bore me. Soon, if all goes well, I will have a different kind of job - one that will be more engaging and challenging. For now, though, I journey through the necessities of life with my eyes turned elsewhere...

I've just noticed that there is a message stating that, "sorry, publishing is temporarily unavailable". hmmm...

Sophie went out chalking today. Chalking, for those of you who don't know, is the act of applying chalk to all available surfaces. Sophie is good at this. She's also good at chocolate milking.

cds that held my attention more than the task at hand: In Gowan Ring "Hazel Steps Through A Weathered Home", Diamanda Galas "Schrei X", Utah Phillips "The Telling Takes Me Home", and Ducasse compilation (disk one)

now: Loreena McKennitt "The Visit"

We got to spend a fair amount of time relaxing together this weekend, watching movies and having a fire in the fireplace and just being together. They say that time is money, but now that I am making less money (thanks to an economy as shaky and nervous as a yappy little dog) and enjoying a bit more free time, I find that it is a good trade (at least for the time being...).

I spent some of this extra time reviewing elementary school level mathematics, which I haven't thought about since... elementary school. Next saturday I will regurgitate the results of all of this reviewing onto a scan-tron (will they use a scan-tron form?) while taking the CBEST. And after that, well, time and money will be adjusted yet again.

cds I listened to while earning money: Diamanda Galas "Saint of the Pit" and "You Must Be Certain of the Devil", Diamanda Galas & John Paul Jones "The Sporting Life", Varttina "Vihma" and "Ilmatar", and Utah Phillips "I've Got to Know"

now: Loreena McKennitt "Live in San Francisco"

We had a feast at Jen's mom's house, and a fine feast it was! I am very thankful for it. Even though this holiday is, in some ways, symbolic of the virtual genocide of the people who lived on this continent first, it is a good time to get together and reflect on what we are thankful for. At the same time, it would do us all good to reflect on the less than savory history of this country. It is always good to question things, especially governments. I am thankful that I have the right to question things, but sometimes I worry about how secure this right really is. We, in this country (some, not all), tend to take a lot of things for granted. One need look no further than the low voter turnout to see what I mean. We delude ourselves into thinking that things will stay pretty much the same no matter what we do. Maybe sometimes they do stay the same. But sometimes they don't. I notice in the news that the current administration is, piece by piece, undoing many of the things put in place by the previous administration. The trees that we thought were safe from loggers are going to end up as paper cups and reams of computer paper. Oil drills stand poised. Our privacy is in jeopardy. Emission standards have been relaxed. Damage is being done, and we're too passive to gather together in great enough numbers to do anything about it.

We have met the evil-doers and they is us. All of that "axis of evil" crap was just a ruse.

There was a picture in the paper today of Bush trying to pat the turkey he had just pardoned from the ax. The turkey was leaning away from his hand. I'll bet it was thinking, there's gotta be a catch. This guy never pardons anybody.

cds I listened to while digesting: Jag Panzer "The Fourth Judgement", Peter Frohmader "Homunculus + Ritual", Jaguar "Wake Me", Judas Priest "Sin After Sin", and Diamanda Galas "The Divine Punishment"

now: Loreena McKennitt "The Mask and Mirror"

You can see the little people out of the corners of your eyes. They're always there, doing their secretive little-people things. This involves spilling copious amounts of food on the floors, tearing anything made of paper into small pieces, and then scattering it to the four winds, and oftentimes the soiling of their own clothing. They must believe it is good luck to throw things over their shoulders, as this is the fate of most objects that come under their control. They also delight in hiding important household items, usually under cushions or behind chairs. Their culture is a strange one indeed. We must study their ways.

The temperatures have dropped. The moon has been halved. I don't have to work tomorrow night - something to do with the killing and eating of large birds.

cds I listened to tonight while wishing I had on warmer clothes: Fit & Limo "As Above So Below", The Flash Girls "The Return of Pansy Smith and Violet Jones", In The Woods... "Three Times Seven On A Pilgrimage", Flies Inside the Sun "Cactus Sky", Iron Maiden "s/t", and Paula Frazer "Indoor Universe"

now: Kate Price "The Isle of Dreaming"

Sophie has been pointing at our stomachs and exclaiming, "baby!" I think she knows that somebody new is going to show up, but isn't sure who this new person is hiding inside. She also reminded me to take my jacket to work tonight by saying "I gacket!" as I was about to leave. She's no dope.

I finally replaced my brake light bulb, and the porch light bulb. We all struggle to not let the little things overwhelm us, but, being little things, we often forget to do them until they gang up on us in the form of an all encompassing "big thing". I can intend to do something for months sometimes before actually doing it. It doesn't matter if it's something that takes less than a minute to do - it's all a matter of remembering at a moment when I can actually do it. I tend to think of things when I'm at work or about to go to sleep. This is why the little things often just do not get done.

cds I listened to while thinking about things that need to be done: Firewater "Psychopharmacology", Utah Phillips "Good Though!", Jarboe "Dissected - a collection of remixes", In the Woods "Strange in Stereo", and Varttina "Kokko"

now: Diamanda Galas "The Singer"

Jen and I went and saw Bowling for Columbine today, which we both agreed should be mandatory viewing in public schools. I won't say more than that. I'm glad it was a good film though, because we had to wait through one of those insipid, advertisement-laced slide shows, and then what seemed like another half hour of commercials. To top it all off, they have the nerve to call it "pre-show entertainment". This reminded us why the non-corporate movie theaters are so much better. It's the kind of thing that makes me just want to wait for the DVD release so I can rent it and not have to be a captive audience for all of this nauseating drivel. If there is a hell for the clowns who think up this kind of crap, then it is a movie theater that plays nothing but smarmy commercials for eternity.
Jen thinks that if they're going to show so many advertisements, then they should let us in free. I heartily agree.

It was cool and pleasant tonight, with some streets pleasingly carpeted with leaves. The fog was moving in just as I got home.

cds I listened to while driving over leaves: Neurosis "The Word as Law", In the Woods "Heart of the Ages" and "Omnio", and Firewater "The Ponzi Scheme"

now: Kate Price "The Time Between"

That damn gated community on my route seems to attract cops. Maybe people who have the poor judgement to live in such a monstrosity and pay outrageous amounts in rent also have poor judgement in other matters. Tonight I passed by as the cops were banging on some guy's door and then inviting themselves in. I remember another time, about thirty feet further into the complex, when I scared the shit out of a couple of cops who were obviously intent on searching for somebody. They didn't notice me until I was right on top of them. I'm lucky I didn't get shot. Now whenever I see police activity, I walk. Running silently up behind cops could be bad for my health.
Lockheed seemed to be a hub of police and fire engine activity tonight as well. I'm not sure why.

On my way to work, some guy in a truck right in front of my threw a cigarette out his window. On my way back from work, some guy in a truck right in front of me threw a cigarette out his window. Maybe it was the same guy. Wouldn't that be a strange coincidence?

There was a nice amount of fog over the valley tonight.

cds I listened to while appreciating the fog: In Extremo "Verehrt und Angespien", Utah Phillips "Making Speech Free", Firewater "Get Off the Cross... We Need the Wood for the Fire", In The Woods "A Return to the Isle of Men", and Mumble & Peg "All My Waking Moments in a Jar"

now: Kate Price "Deep Heart's Core"

It's almost time to throw out the jack-o-lantern. It no longer looks like Oscar the Grouch. Now it is sad and droopy and moldy. Jen mentioned the possibility of it staining the fence. I would have thrown it in the yard waste bin, but it has nails in it. Removing the nails will be an odious task. Next year I'll use something else for teeth. Maybe, just to mess with people, we should get some new pumpkins in december and have jack-o-lanterns for Christmas. We could put little halos over their heads. I love mixing up the holidays.

The moon has been quite lovely the last couple of nights.

cds I listened to under the light of the moon: Fire & Ice "Seasons of Ice" and "Birdking", Gjallarhorn "Grimborg", In Extremo "Die Verruckten sind in der Stadt", and Mago de Oz "La Leyenda de la Mancha"

now: Baraka soundtrack

There they were, with pale faces and shit-eating grins, all staring at me. There must have been eight or nine of them crowded into the alcove, clustered around doorways leading to apartments where people presumably slept.
I'm not sure why there were so many toilets in one place. Was it some sort of practical joke? Is one of the residents a plumber? Was I witness to the beginning of an invasion by beings who just happen to look like commodes? Will there be more of them tomorrow night?

Earlier in the day, a sheep took a liking to the way my hands smelled. I think she picked up on the scent of lanolin in the hand lotion I used earlier. Then the sheep peed, and you would have thought it was the high point of the tour I was leading. Pre-schoolers are so impressed by bodily functions.
Somewhere on the farm a lone frog was singing. There were a few Slender salamanders under the logs by the greenhouse, sharing their space with a couple of large centipedes and a number of crickets. The lizards have all but disappeared for the winter, even though the day was warm.

cds I listened to while wondering about toilets: Liar "Gone Too Far", Mumble & Peg "This Ungodly Hour", In Extremo "Weckt die Toten!", Low "Canada", Fire & Ice "Midwinter Fires", and U.Utah Phillips & Mark Ross "Loafer's Glory"

now: Lights in a Fat City "Memory Ground"

I saw a grand total of one meteor tonight.

In the dim past, families would gather around the fire at the end of the day and tell stories. These stories were passed down from generation to generation. Sometimes new stories were born, and old stories faded, or changed beyond recognition as storytellers added their own twists and personalities to the proceedings. Many of these stories were cautionary tales. Children, upon hearing a tale such as Little Red Riding Hood, would come away from the experience knowing that it is unwise to stray from the path, and even more unwise to consort with cross-dressing wolves. All was well and good until television came along. Now the kids gather around and watch "Land Before Time 5". What they're learning from it I just don't know.

cds I listened to while straining to see meteors: Fire & Ice "Blood on the Snow", Varttina "Oi Dai", Holocaust "The Courage to Be", Fire & Ice/Charlie MacGowan "California Daze", Tony Wakeford "Paris", and In Extremo "s/t"

now: Lights in a Fat City "Sound Column"

After a good night's sleep, I tried again, and lo and behold, it worked! I, like many people, do not have a full understanding of the tools I use on a day to day basis. If I click on a button while using the computer and nothing happens, I stubbornly click on it again and again, like a Neanderthal beating a fish against a rock. This doesn't usually help. Even Neanderthals, knitting their brows while wiping pulped fish off of their knobby hands, must have realized that sometimes a gentler touch is called for. In other ways, they were lucky. Prehistoric people, I'm reasonably certain, knew how to use, and fix, their tools. We, who live in a technological society, at best know how to partially use our tools. Forget fixing them. The flow of information has become so great that it threatens to carry us away over the roaring waterfalls of a new dark age. How comforting.

now: In Extremo "Hameln"

For some reason the entry I wrote a little while ago is languishing in the "post" window and will not, no matter what I do, allow itself to be published. I am vexed.

I've just read all of the stories that form the foundation of Batch 8 of the OAC's writings. Our ranks have swelled to nine, and is more than 50% female. Two of these people I have never met. One of them continues to be my brother. One of them is somebody I work with. One of them is my wife. One of them is a cat (or so he would have us believe). It's good to be underway again. When we're done with this batch we will have ninety new stories, a handful of which will eventually make it up onto the OAC site. Someday.

I've seen a couple of meteors over the last two nights. The Leonid meteor shower is supposed to be at its peak tomorrow night, in conjunction with the full moon, which will obscure all but the brightest meteors. Oh well.

cds I listened to while swerving to avoid possible meteorites: Varttina "Aitara", Fire & Ice "Runa", Utah Phillips & Ani Difranco "Fellow Workers", Godspeed You! Black Emperor "Yanqui U.X.O.", and Holocaust "Spirits Fly"

now: the best of Popol Vuh

It really is true what they say about the decline of pay phones. Maybe the fact that nearly everybody has a cellphone these days is to blame. Maybe not. Regardless of who's to blame, it is impossible to find a working pay phone in San Francisco. Not being able to contact my work, I left the show early, but not before seeing Steve Von Till, Scott Kelly, and Jarboe. Wow.

music I listened to while grumbling about outmoded technology: Kitka "Voices on the Eastern Wind", Liar "Devil Dog Road", Low live at the DNA lounge (thoughtfully broadcast live by the nice folks at KFJC, so I didn't have to miss them completely), Faust "So Far", Marianne Faithfull "A Secret Life", Fantomas "The Director's Cut", and Fifty Foot Hose "Sing Like Scaffold"

now: Popol Vuh "Das Hohelied Salomos"

Lexy has a brand new, shiny white, glow in the dark... cast! He scaled the heights of a tall fence at school and plummeted to the ground, cracking that little knob of bone at the end of the humerus. In the x-ray, it appears to be hanging off. He has also lost two baby teeth (not related to the fall). One of them is really lost, and may have been swallowed. The other one is in the hands of the Tooth Fairy. Jen commented that he's falling apart.

I saw a beautiful sunset today, in a strange sort of way. Inside the museum, we have an exhibit where kids can manipulate a roof-mounted camera and watch the results on a TV monitor. As I walked past the exhibit at closing time, the monitor displayed a brilliant, orange and red sunset. The only problem is that the camera was pointing east, so the sunset it was picking up was a mere reflection, broken into squares by the windows of the large office building across the river. As I looked at this image, I thought that it was a good metaphor for how many of us live our lives. Many things we experience are filtered and packaged. Information is interpreted (reflected) for us and broadcast into our homes. As anybody who has been part of something that makes the news can tell you, the information is nearly always distorted. Pure information doesn't always further the aims of the people providing it, so the news is squeezed to fit into the appropriate box. A case in point would be a protest against the Gulf war that I took part in. The news stations and papers seriously under-reported the number of people protesting. An illusion must be created that nearly everybody is in line behind the government as it rolls out its tanks and planes. Too many protesters could cause embarassment, a fact which we should take to heart in the coming months.
When I finally made it outside, the orange and red had leaked out of the clouds, leaving only grey silhouettes.

cds I listened to while experiencing life first-hand: Low "Trust", Holocaust "The Nightcomers", irr.app.(ext.) "ozeanische gefuhle" and "inception and silence undivided", and Black Heart Procession "Amore del Tropico"

now: Popol Vuh "Tantric Songs/Hosianna Mantra"

I remember being in preschool and being fascinated by rust and decay. There were a bunch of tricycles available for our use during the play periods. I remember a couple of kids with crewcuts always getting the "speedy" bikes, as they called them. It didn't matter to me, I always wanted the rusty, beat up old tricycle - the one that tended to lose wheels when ridden. There was a certain aesthetic to that worn out old trike that clicked with me. Maybe I was subconsciously drawn towards the underdog - the abandoned and unused. Things other kids wouldn't have anything to do with. As I grew older, this fascination would manifest itself in different ways - my choice of pets, the music I listened to, books I read... If too many people like something, then there has to be something wrong with it. Personal taste should not be decreed by some outside force - some marketing ploy. Do people really like the star with the flashiest ad campaign? The one with the sexiest outfit? ...or do they just think they do? Do the insipid songs on commercial radio overcome people's defenses through sheer repetition? Does the initial urge to regurgitate disappear after somebody in a DJ chair tells you that the song you just heard is an "instant classic"? These are the things I ask myself at four in the morning.

cds I listened to while driving around in my beat up old car: Hollenthon "Domus Mundi", and "With Vilest of Worms to Dwell", Utah Phillips & Ani Difranco "The Past Didn't go Anywhere", Tara Jane O'neil "TKO a record by tara jane oneil", irr.app.(ext.) "not hidden, but concealed" and "radiant black future...", and Varttina "Seleniko"

now: Popol Vuh "Coeur de Verre"

It's been a year (give or take a few days) since we moved into this house (okay, duplex...). We moved in the rain, using a U-haul truck and various smaller vehicles. I remember that rainwater pooled on the roof of the truck, soaking me on several occasions. Jen said that we would probably be unpacked by the summer. I thought she was exaggerating. It turns out she understated things instead. After a week or two of living here, she took the kids to Texas for three weeks or so (a trip that had been delayed due to the 9/11 tragedy). I unpacked as much as possible and put the bed together (It was a nice, somewhat rickety old bed, which has since gone back to Jason. We replaced it with a metal framed bed from Ikea). I also got some sort of sinus infection, which didn't stop me from going to see Hungarian filmmaker Bela Tarr's epic Satantango at the Pacific Film Archive in Berkeley. Because of the running time (a mere seven and a half hours), and the fact that I felt miserable, I half expected it to be an ordeal. I needn't have worried. I think my illness only added to the experience. There I was, shivering and dripping at the nose, crouched by myself in a theater seat - and I loved it. It moved at a sedate, black and white pace through the desperate lives of a group of Hungarian villagers, sometimes folding back on itself to capture events that were happening simultaneously. ...but it is not my purpose here to review films. That said, I wish somebody would put the damn thing out on DVD so I could watch it again and again.
We were out in the garage today. Jen was looking for a box of maternity clothes. We've been dumping things in there for a year now, not to mention the things that never made it out in the first place. There are piles of old cardboard that needs to be recycled. Under the cardboard are torn bags of rocks from the time we tried to re-do the landscaping. Weeds, looking pale and serpentine, have sprouted in the bags, twisting their way over the rocks in a desperate quest for sunlight. There are various unopened boxes and outdoor toys and that huge aquarium I got from the museum, all waiting patiently for the day when they will again see use. As a whole, the space looks like it has been attacked by angry gibbons. We don't go in there much.

cds I listened to while knowing that my car will never be parked in the garage: irr.app.(ext.) "an uncertain animal, Ruptured: tissue expanding in conversation", "dust pincher appliances", and "foreign matter, nor frequency carrier", Varttina "Musta Lindu", and Kris Krawczyk & Goran Bregovic "Kris & Goran"

now: Coil "Unnatural History II"

Our yard is blanketed by debris from the neighborhood trees. Multicolored leaves form a carpet punctuated by the crooked fingers of shattered branches. Sad brown palm fronds litter the walkway, and the seed pods full of berries that Sophie likes to put in her mouth litter the ground. The air smells alive. The plant odors mingle with the aroma of saturated soil to produce the intoxicating smell of autumn. Mist hangs in the spaces between the surrounding hills. The clouds above pass on, and the temperatures drop. Tonight there were hints of frost on the lawns. My breath billowed around my face.

On friday we visited the midwife. I heard our child's heartbeat for the first time. There's not a whole lot of things better than that.

Later the same day, Matt and I went and saw Inkboat's performance of Onion at the Yerba Buena Center for the Arts. It seemed to me to be about a writer who observed from a distance but never got involved, his editor (or publisher) and a couple who were either characters in his writings or consumers of his writings. Onions, which seemed to be a metaphor for books, were thrown about with enthusiasm. Or were they a metaphor for human souls? Or were they just onions?

Jen and I, during a rare childless moment, saw Frida earlier today (or yesterday) and it was quite excellent. I'm not going to do a review of it here, but it was great to hear (and see) Lila Downs at several points during the film. The brothers Quay also took part.

cds listened to while seeing my breath: Heavy Load "Full Speed at High Level", Hellhammer "Satanic Rites", Hellhound "Ice Age", Idiot Flesh "Fancy", and Sigur Ros "( )"

now: Popol Vuh "In the Gardens of Pharao/Aguirre"

It rained most of the day. At the museum, I stared out the window at the clouds as they surged across the sky, and imagined that they were stationary and we were the ones moving. As I drove home, the storm increased in ferocity. Later, the lights flickered but never went out. I lit a couple of candles just in case the power died. As I took out the trash, the garbage can lid took an unexpected trip down the block. I caught it and put it back a bit more forcefully.
Now it is relatively calm outside, and I am drinking a large glass of orange juice.

I was filling out one of those emergency forms (you know - who to contact in case I fall down a well or experience any other catastrophe) for Hidden Villa, and of course I put down Jen. I got a real thrill out of writing down "wife" in the "relationship" space. I'm so glad we found each other.

cds I listened to as the winds died down: Political Asylum "Rock, You Sucker", Penelope Houston "Karmal Apple", Ani Difranco "Out of Range", Godflesh "Selfless", and Gjallarhorn "Ranarop - Call of the Sea Witch"

now: Martyn Bates "Imagination Feels Like Poison"

The evening started with the smell of imminent rain in the air, and clouds lowering above. Leaves raced across asphalt, or swirled in confusion, as if panicking at the news of an advancing army of raindrops. The trees roared around me. By the end of the night, some of these trees had toppled, or dropped heavy branches onto cars. I often found myself swerving to avoid plant debris. The hard lines of roads and curbs softened into leafy indistinctness. I love winter storms.

The day started on a surreal note. One of the first things I do upon awakening is turn on the lights in the reptile cages. This is a pretty simple task, except for the one in the python cage, which never quite works right and has to be jiggled. In order to jiggle it, I have to reach over the python, who is always expecting food. Anything that enters the python cage is mistaken for food. I've gotten into the habit of picking up whatever happens to be on the floor near the cage and placing it between the python's head and my hand as I reach for the light. Today it was one of Nathan's jackets. You can see where this is leading... Have you ever tried to get a jacket away from a python after he's latched onto it? He struck, looped his coils around it, and squeezed. I tried to pull it out. He squeezed tighter. I was trying to get ready for work, so I got him out of the cage and carried him around with me while I got dressed, attempting every so often to get the jacket back. Every time I grabbed it, he thought it was coming back to life, so he'd tighten up again. I finally got it away from him, and made it to work on time. Nathan was a bit miffed about the whole thing though.

I would have had a unique excuse if I had been late.

At the museum, I put an Ethiopian cd in the player, and a guy from Ethiopia had to question where he was. It turns out he'd grown up listening to the first song on the cd. He was a bit surprised to hear it in the Early Childhood Center at the children's museum. Another one of those "meant to be" coincidences.

cds I listened to while getting a bit wet and trying to get the car to slide on the leaves: Coil "Unnatural History", eX-Girl "Kero! Kero! Kero!" and "Big When Far, Small When Close", Gjallarhorn "Sjofn", Penelope Houston "Tongue", and Punk Lady (who are actually eX-Girl in disguise)

now: Martyn Bates "Mystery Seas (Letters Written #2)"

The papers were late tonight because of the election returns. Yes, we voted (in a garage around the corner). Simple Simon didn't win. Ha ha. Jen says the jack-o-lantern currently rotting on the fence near the front gate looks like Oscar the Grouch. I'm inclined to agree - who would have thought a nail-toothed, lemon-eyed pumpkin could look like a garbage loving puppet?

The tarantula has finally started hanging out on the birdhouse we got for him. Maybe he's waiting for a bird to move in. Who knows what goes on in his spidery little mind?

The kids at Hidden Villa today had name tags with pictures and bar codes on them. Strange.

Cds I listened to while cursing Republicans: Penelope Houston "Loners, Stoners, and Prison Brides", and "The Whole World", eX-Girl "Pop Muzik", Olho Seco "Havera Futuro?", Pink Turds in Space "The Complete...", and Plaid Retina "Dead End Mind"

now: Eyeless in Gaza "All Under the Leaves, the Leaves of Life"

I got a funny Google hit the other day: my pet mangrove snake. I can't even remember when I wrote about mangrove snakes. My advice to this searcher is to not pet mangrove snakes. They can bite right through gardening gloves.

Speaking of gardens, Jason and Stacy got us a cool little garden fairy as a wedding present (we loved all of the other stuff as well, of course). We're going to put it out back near the great porch swing that Jen's dad and stepmother got us. I want to get all of those river rocks we used to decorate tables for the wedding and make some borders in the back yard. Of course, maybe we should attempt a lawn first. Making arbitrary borders in the dirt would be odd.

I registered for the CBEST (Crazed Baboons Endeavoring to Steal Truffles) oops.., I mean California Basic Education Skills Test. This is the first real step towards actually becoming a teacher, as opposed to just talking about it.

cds listened to while enjoying the cool weather: Eversor "September", eX-Girl "Heppoco Pou" and "Back to the Mono Kero!" (back to the single croak?), Painted Black (compilation of very strange versions of the Rolling Stones' "Paint it Black". Thanks Andee!), and Godflesh "Pure"

now: Popol Vuh "Seligpreisung"

It's a new week and I find myself sucked back into my current routine. I've noticed that some people have already put up Christmas lights. The jack-o-lanterns haven't even rotted away yet! What's the rush?

Speaking of rushes, I wasn't in a rush to see the newest Star Wars movie, so when we went to see it on the Tech museum's Imax screen, I was probably the only person in the audience who hadn't seen it before. This particular Imax screen is of the domed variety, which means we were looking straight up a good portion of the time. At other times, it was necessary to whip my head back and forth to catch the action or subtitles or whatever it was that was disappearing beyond my peripheral vision at that particular moment.
Was the movie any good? Kind of... This type of film, as Dario Argento once succinctly put it, is for kids. There are lots of great special effects and sets. The story is relatively simplistic, and occasionally downright sappy. On the bright side, Yoda gets into a fight with Christopher Lee. On the down side, the film had nowhere near the effect on me that the first three did. But what the hell...

A couple of days earlier, we (the married we) were at the Tech museum with the kids and Jen's dad and stepmom and brother and his girlfriend Stacy. The kids had a great time. I got a good laugh when I discovered an exhibit that allowed you to videotape yourself holding forth on the subject of technology. I was thinking of sitting Sophie in the chair and letting her talk for a while but it didn't seem to be working. I looked around for helpful signs. Instead of finding anything useful, I found a sign that admonished people to avoid "foul language or inappropriate jester's". The first question that sprang to mind was, "inappropriate jester's what?" Hat? Shoes? I had visions of jesters in army helmets or baseball caps being dragged away from the exhibit.

Are the exhibit people at the Tech museum only semiliterate? You decide. Push this button to record your answer. Past favorites include a Super 8 hotel that was "comming soon" and a store that has been selling "sheespkin" car seat covers for years. This new trend in apostrophe abuse is unsettling though. The poor little things are too small to fight back.

cds listened to while being blinded by all of the Christmas lights: Eld "Carved", Empress s/t full length cd, and s/t ep, Godflesh "Cold World", Ani Difranco "More Joy, Less Shame", and "Dilate", and Ether "Music for Air Raids"

now: Wizard Women of the North

I haven't been making regular entries this week because I'm married now! In celebration of this new state of being, I've taken the week off, thus breaking the routine of writing entries after work. The wedding happened perfectly. We got married by a very nice judge, Erica Yew, in the midst of a majestic redwood grove. Just about everybody we invited showed up. Faun Fables provided the reception music, and did so perfectly. In addition to playing all of the songs we asked for, Dawn and Nils even played songs I had intended to ask for but had forgotten about. Sophie, Lexy, and I danced.
Jen looked beautiful, of course, wearing the dress that Jane made and crowned with flowers. Jane also made Sophie's dress, which was perfect. It went well with her wings. Our parents have now all met. The cake was wonderful, as was the specially ordered ginger ale. Thanks to everybody involved for making the day such a success. I could go on, but since everything went so well, it's probably pretty dull reading for the casual surfer.
At the end of the day, Lexy fell in the pond.

now: Gry "Public Recording"

I'm taking all of next week off of work. If I scrutinized our financial situation, I might change my mind, so I'm not going to look too closely. Every other time I've taken a vacation, I've travelled out of the state or country and arrived home more worn out than when I started (and, needless to say, much more impoverished).

Jen's dad has a Texas handshake.

We're forming a union this weekend. I am most pleased. The next time I update this page, I will be wearing a ring. ...and a few extra pounds because of the cake.

cds listened to while anticipating wedded bliss: Einsturzende Neubauten "Strategies Against Architecture II", Hoven Droven "More Happy Moments...", and The Gathering "Strange Machines"

now: Pantaleimon "Trees Hold Time"

I must not have gotten the memo. Everybody else was out walking pairs of white dogs. The first guy I saw had a couple of good sized, long-haired dogs. They looked askance at me as I drove past. I thought little of it until about ten minutes later when I saw another man walking another pair of white dogs. This time they were tiny, little more than rat sized. What brought these people out at one in the morning? Was there indeed a memo instructing people to exercise highly visible pairs of canines? I will never know.

Ten minutes after this, a lawn tried to steal one of my shoes. I hopped and slid for a moment, trying in vain not to let my exposed sock come into contact with the muddy grass. In the end, I toppled onto the lawn. When I regained my footing, still awkwardly hopping, I could not see my shoe. It took me a few moments to discover it about ten feet away, looking like it had tried to escape. I grabbed it and shoved it on over my soaked, muddy sock. Yet another private moment spewed out onto the internet for everybody to see. It's not as cool as actually being there though. ha ha.

The house is resisting our efforts to whip it into shape for anticipated guests. I'm pretty tired. I think I'll go to bed.

Animals spotted tonight: one opossum, two skunks, and eleven egrets.

cds I listened to while dealing with the moistness inside my right shoe: Nausea "Extinction - the Second Coming", Einsturzende Neubauten "Tabula Rasa", and "Ende Neu" Birdsaw "Born Messy", and Ani Difranco "Living in Clip"

now: cd of songs we selected for the wedding, thoughtfully assembled by M.

I got paid good money to slice apart a pumpkin and scatter its innards all over the place. Children converged on the mess and began pounding at it with various utensils. Soon everything was caked with stringy, dried pumpkin goo. Memorable quote from a mom of two children who refused to leave the table: "they're so interested in this because they're not allowed to make messes at home." This same mom seemed to think there was some other sort of pumpkin that one used to actually make food. Surely the ones in the patches are just for playing with. People are odd.

I went to San Francisco with my new tires to find and converse with the recently returned minstrels. They engaged in minstrelry and then we discussed the wedding, where they are to engage in yet more minstrelry. The problem of a P.A. system was brought up, and solved moments later by the fortuitous appearance of a very tall man with his hair separated into three distinct sections. This man agreed to provide a P.A.

Then, women wearing the undergarments of our ancestors made an unholy racket on their cellos. We clapped.

Animals spotted tonight: Two Night herons, one nervous raccoon, and ten egrets doing what egrets always do in the middle of the night: sleeping in trees.

cds listened to while enjoying my new tires: Beasts of Paradise "Gathered on the Edge", Einsturzende Neubauten "Faustmusik", "Interim", and "Malediction", In Gowan Ring "Exists and Entrances Vol.2", Birdsaw "Haunted by one Question", and Coil "Moon's Milk", "Bee Stings", "Amethyst Deceivers", and "North" (a.k.a. spring, summer, autumn, and winter)

now: Anja Garbarek "Smiling & Waving"

Two ways of looking at the same event:

1. I would end up with a flat tire during the night before I have to go to all three jobs and a gig. Dammit! This kind of thing always seems to happen at the most inconvenient time. I'm going to be soooo busy tomorrow.

2. There's always a reason for everything. My tires are so worn down that I poked myself on the steel tread while taking off the wheel, which means that I should get off my butt and replace them I might not have noticed the tread poking through if I hadn't taken off the wheel. The steel is only showing on the inward facing side. It's better to have a blowout while driving at ten miles per hour through a trailer park than it is to have one on the freeway. I'll just go get new tires tomorrow instead of going to Hidden Villa. They can get along for a day without me. I don't even have to set my alarm for any earlier.

I looked at it the first way for about a minute.

animals spotted tonight: one skunk (evidently there not all holed up for the winter yet) and nine egrets.

cds I listened to while driving around on three wheels and one doughnut: Steve Von Till "If I Should Fall to the Field" (I was looking up at the moon as it peeked through the low-lying clouds and appreciating how the autumnal feel of this cd was enhancing the evening when I heard the tell-tale flup flup flup of my air-less tire slapping the asphalt), FM Einheit "Prometheus/Lear", Alexander Hacke "Filmarbeiten", Ani Difranco "Little Plastic Castle" and Beasts of Paradise "Nobody Knew the Time"

now: Savina Yannatou "Mediterranea"

I once saw a man with so many calluses on his hands that they didn't look human. In addition to this, it looked like the calluses had been shredded, giving his hands the texture of one of those cross-hatched breakfast cereals. I wonder what he did (or does) for a living. It is this time of year that my own hands start to give me problems. Over the years, I have found that cold weather, in conjunction with newsprint, leads to cracked and bleeding hands. I tend to go through a lot of band-aids during the cold months. I'm reasonably sure that a couple of times I've inadvertently delivered band-aids to subscribers along with their papers. As I type this, my hands are in pretty good shape. There are a lot of dry patches on them that will give me trouble during the coming months, but there are no fissures.

I cleaned the frog cage today, so he'll have everything looking and smelling its best when he slows down for the winter. I'm still not sure exactly what kind of frog he is. He's a treefrog, but not a local variety. I think he might be a Cuban tree frog. He used to be the mascot for an algebra class. They even had the poor taste to name him Algefrog. I guess they got tired of him, because somebody donated him to the museum. Since he's antisocial and incredibly quick, it was determined that he would not make a good museum frog. This is why he now resides on top of the dresser behind me. I've had him around two years now.

Outside, the full moon scatters its borrowed light across the night.

cds I listened to while getting hit by moonlight: Ammer/Einheit/Haage "Apocalypse Live", The Gathering "Superheat" and "if_then_else", Coil "Stolen and Contaminated Songs", and Ani Difranco "Up Up Up Up Up Up"

now: Ani Difranco "Reckoning, Revelling"

Another work week draws to a close. It's starting to get cold outside at night. I am impelled to wear something besides a t-shirt. The leaves are falling. I think the tree in our backyard has a hidden stash somewhere. As I raked earlier in the week, I looked up to see the tree almost devoid of leaves. As I raked earlier today, I once again looked up and saw roughly the same amount of leaves. Maybe we're being punished for not watering more often.
Jen got to hear the baby's heartbeat today, and all is well. We've created a somebody. Of course, Jen has to do most of the work at this point. It must be such a strange feeling to be pregnant. The projected due date is May 8th. A spring baby.
Sophie has discovered the comic delights of smacking people on the nose. It's probably my fault for laughing when she does it. It's hard not to laugh though, because everything she does is cute. She ate a foil wrapped candy today without taking off the foil. Cute. She pulled apart Nathan's peanut butter and jelly sandwich and stuck the pieces to the kitchen floor. Cute. She tried to eat the flower arrangement on the table. Cute. You get the idea. I think it's a survival mechanism. What would happen if babies were ugly? If you're small and helpless, it is to your advantage to get people to fall in love with you. I could listen to Sophie for hours as she emphatically explains things in a language I don't understand. As I left for work, she was sitting contentedly inside the dryer.

Animals spotted tonight: The Night heron again, and the egrets (seven of them) again. There was also a large bird, possibly an owl, who flew away before I could identify it. It looks like the skunks have made themselves scarce for the winter.

cds I listened to out in the cold: Andreas Ammer/FM Einheit "Radio Inferno", Ani Difranco "Not A Pretty Girl", Pendulum "We're too Small to Lose Each Other", Melvins "10 Songs", and Blixa Bargeld "Commissioned Music"

now: Stephen Kent "Family Tree"

At the museum the other day I was having a discussion about Madagascar Hissing cockroaches with some kids. Not really expecting them to know (they all looked to be under ten years of age), I asked if anybody knew where Madagascar was. None of the kids knew. One of the parents piped up in the background, "it's off the coast of Chile, isn't it?" I replied that it wasn't. It soon became evident that a good number of the adults didn't know where it was either. Somebody finally got it right. Another adult said, "so it's near the Galapagos islands then..." This would, of course, put the Galapagos islands quite some distance from their actual location off the coast of Ecuador. I wonder how much this lack of knowledge amongst the parents ends up stunting the knowledge of their children. I can even remember teachers I had in elementary school who got facts wrong. Then again, not knowing where the Galapagos islands are can be understood. The world is a big place, most of which is ocean. There are thousands of islands out there.
Not knowing what the Galapagos islands are, however, cannot be forgiven. I still remember the incident clearly. I was in a bookstore, and I overheard a child asking his mother about a particular book. I turned and saw the mom holding a large, coffee-table book called "Galapagos". I think it had a Marine iguana on the cover. It appeared to be some sort of photo essay on the islands.
The kid looked up at his mom and asked, "what does "Galapagos" mean?"
The mother smiled down at her child and replied, "I dunno. I think it's the name of the photographer."

I should have said something, but I didn't. I was too shocked.

That was years ago, but still fresh in my mind. Earlier today, I saw a man almost get hit by a large, rusted old pickup truck. He was walking across the road carrying something - car parts, maybe... He stepped right into the path of the oncoming truck, causing the driver to stomp on the brakes. As I passed by, I overheard the man yell, "you can't harm me! I'm Superman!"

I hadn't recognized him without his costume. He really blends in with us average, everyday folk. I guess that ability can come in handy when you're fighting those crafty supervillians.

Animals spotted tonight: one Night heron, nine egrets, and one very confused little gopher.

cds listened to while trying to spot more superheroes: Nick Drake "Bryter Layter", Dunwich "Il Chiarore Sorge Due Volte" and "Eternal Eclipse of Frost", Dvorak "Symphony No.7, etc.", Earth "Extra-Capsular Extraction", and Eden "Healingbow" and "Gateway to the Mysteries"

now: Popul Vuh "Agape-Agape"

Our wedding rings came in the mail today! In a week and a half we'll be wearing them. Jen will be my wife. I still have moments where it all seems like a dream. Time just slips by and the world changes under our feet. This is definitely a big change in my life. I welcome it, and Jen, with open arms. We are not two halves pressed together to make a whole. We are two wholes joined together to form a bond even more durable than the rings we'll be wearing on our fingers.

Tuesday is lengthy for me. It is the only day during the week where I go to all three jobs. The tour at Hidden Villa today consisted of ten first-graders. Most of the roosters where slaughtered in the past week, so the one I've caught the last couple of tuesdays is now food. I caught one today who needs his spurs trimmed. In the cow pen, I coaxed a small fence lizard onto my arm for the kids to look at, and then we got the treat of watching the cows make some pies. The kids were a bit grossed out. In the past, I've gotten kids involved in pushing bits of straw into the cow pies, causing them to resemble low-rent porcupines. Not today. No playing in the cow flop for these kids.

It was slow in the garden at the museum. Sam, who visits the museum on a regular basis with his mom and little brother, was interested in one of the snake books. Since he can't read yet, I was telling him what kinds of snakes he was looking at. When we came to the garter snakes. He looked up and asked, "what do they guard?"

Jen and I have gotten the house and yard into better shape over the last couple of days. We are also the proud owners of two new bookcases. It took me the better part of an hour to assemble one of them. It now squats in the corner behind the lamp, filled to the brim. The other one waits to be assembled. There will still be piles of books even after this one is filled. This is how it should be.

I hope they catch that sniper bastard soon and take away his toys.

Animals spotted tonight: One large skunk, and eight egrets.

cds I listened to while getting pissed off about the proliferation of guns in this society: Calexico "Scraping" and "98-99 Road Map", Ani Difranco "To the Teeth" (not one, but two brilliant anti-gun songs!), Amy X Neuburg & Men "Sports! Chips! Booty!", Mark Growden's Electric Pinata "Inside Beneath Behind", and Lights In A Fat City "Somewhere"

now: Seven Percent Solution "All About Satellites and Spaceships"

As newspaper carriers, we often get what are euphemistically called "service requests". These are, more accurately, complaints. Here's a funny one:

Attn: Sub call to report that it's raccoons in area. Please double bag daily and put Wall Street Journal between the two car's in driveway (so raccoons can't find them).

These complaints are always written in what is euphemistically known as "hurried english". This one is more legible than most. I took the liberty of spelling out all of the silly abbreviations. I left the poor english intact.
I wonder if they really think that putting an extra bag on the paper and making a half-assed attempt to hide it is really going to deter raccoons. Raccoons are pretty smart creatures, as is evidenced by their ability to read the Wall Street Journal. Of course, their taste in reading material leaves something to be desired.

Animals spotted tonight: The same damn Night heron, one opossum standing very still in the middle of the road, and sixteen egrets.

cds I listened to while hiding papers from raccoons: The Gathering "How to Measure a Planet?", Coil "Scatology" and "Horse Rotorvator", and Ani Difranco "s/t"

now: Retsin "Cabin in the Woods"

Why it is futile to argue with the christian right:

While waiting for the truck tonight, I had the great pleasure of entering into a debate on the subject of evolution vs creation. This is sort of like entering a debate about abortion rights. Nobody is going to have a change of heart, no matter how eloquently you argue your side. Anyway, our resident Jerk was maintaining that evolution was silly, and one of my other co-workers was frustrating himself in trying to argue the opposite side. Jerk's main argument had something to do with cars, and how they were made by people. He went on to say that since people were so much more wonderfully complicated than cars that some higher power must have made them. At that point, I tried to explain the concept of evolution to him because he didn't seem to have a firm grasp on it. He replied with some sort of twisted analogy about how cars wouldn't evolve if you left them someplace for billions of years. I tried to explain the difference between inanimate objects and living things, and told him that his analogy was senseless - that even if cars were living things, a single car would represent a single human life. Now, most reasonable people know that evolution doesn't happen in a single generation. He kept blindly mouthing the same point, maintaining that living things were "greater" than cars, so they must have been created, rather than being the end product of evolution. Deciding to mess with him, I asked him to define "greater". He thought for a moment and replied that it meant something of more importance and value.
Then I asked him what was more important - his car or an ant. By his "logic", he would have to say "ant". He didn't reply. I knew what his answer would be, of course. His car is so damn important to him that he always parks it really close to the building so that it's in the way of just about everybody. I remember another carrier bumping it with a handcart. This nearly sent Jerk into shock. You'd think somebody had offed his granny the way he was shouting.
The truck showed up at this point and we all got to work. It's probably just as well. It's hard to win a debate against somebody that illogical. It's fun trying though.

Also, I wish people would just shut up about sports. Why do newspapers and radio stations devote so much time to a bunch of overpaid, bad role models kicking, throwing, or hitting little balls around on the grass. Are we to believe that this is news? Sometimes sports stories take up more space than the real stories. SPORTS ARE NOT NEWS. What if every other type of entertainment got equal space on the front page. Would we have rundowns of concerts, art shows and the like taking precedence over stories about what the president is doing to the country. What is going on with the world these days? I don't know, but Biff Brutus scored 5000 points for his team, and likes to eat twinkies when he's not kicking balls around. I also know that he gets paid more money than most people see in a lifetime. For playing a game. In addition, I know that he uses product X to combat jock itch, wears Y shoes, and brushes his teeth with Z brand toothpaste.

Unfortunately, I can't find my state on a map, and I most certainly don't know where Iraq is. I think it's somewhere near Australia. Don't the aborigines live there? Aborigines are people who sit around a lot. I saw it on TV after the game. The president is smart and he knows what's best for me. I've got five flags on my pickup truck. It's hard to see around the one I've got glued to my windshield, but if I lean out the window I can still see well enough to drive. Leaning out the window helps sober me up a bit too. The TV tells me to drink beer. I believe my TV when it suits me to do so. My TV is good. It thinks for me. God made me. I am great...

Nighttime birds I spotted while listening to a cd called "Nighttime Birds": One Night heron, and six egrets.

cds I listened to while trying to see around that darn flag on my windshield: M.D.C. "Shades of Brown", Melvins "Lysol" (actually not entitled anything because the makers of Lysol made them remove the name from all copies of their cd - I restore the title here to piss off Lysol), Calexico "Travelall", Nick Drake "Way to Blue - an introduction to Nick Drake", and The Gathering "Nighttime Birds"

now: Coil "How to Destroy Angels"

Why I am a defensive driver:

Every so often, as was the case tonight, I can just tell that a car approaching the intersection on a red light is not going to stop. This means that I, with the green light, run the risk of driving directly into the path of this scofflaw. Tonight, I waited until the approaching car was just entering the intersection, pulled forward, and leaned on my horn. The other car came to a halt in the middle of the intersection. I steered around the front of the car and saw that the driver, a young, somewhat shellshocked looking lady, was still talking on her little phone. I loudly instructed her to HANG UP HER FUCKING PHONE! Okay, maybe not the most intelligent way to start a dialogue, but it sure felt good. I didn't stick around to see if she complied, but I'll bet she didn't. Now don't get me wrong, some people can manage to talk on a phone and drive at the same time. I manage to fold papers, put them in bags, and throw them all over creation, all while driving. I manage to eat dinner while driving down the road every night. That said, I don't like talking on a phone while driving. The couple of times I've tried it, I've found my attention someplace beyond the confines of my car.

Earlier, the slowly swelling crescent moon snuck behind a thin layer of clouds. The motion and relative transparency of the clouds made the moon look like it was smoldering. Does anybody else ever notice this stuff?

Even earlier than that - the yellowjackets aren't even waiting for the bees to die before eating them. That's kind of mean.

Animals spotted tonight: nine egrets, and one hopping katydid.

cds listened to while looking both ways before crossing the street: Ani DiFranco "Like I Said (songs 1990-91)", Sally Doherty "s/t", "Empire of Death", and "On the Outside", and The Gathering "Almost a Dance" and "Mandylion"

now: Sally Doherty and the Sumacs "Black is the Colour"

It was pleasantly cloudy today. The clouds covered most of the sky, painting it grey and white. The whole thing probably deepened to oranges and reds at sunset, but I was otherwise occupied so I can only imagine what it was like.

I'm thinking of all the ways I have justified buying such a large quantity of cds over the years:

1. I'm going to get this eventually, so I might as well get it now.

2. Hey, this store donates a portion of its proceeds to helping save the rainforest. What a great cause!

3. I'll just get this band's whole back catalog to save myself the trouble of having to come back to get the rest later.

4. It's my friend's band. I'm helping my friends!

5. It's on an independent label. I'm helping independent labels!

6. I don't have any cds from this country yet...

7. The people who own this record store are cool. I'll buy lots of cds here to ensure that they stay in business.

8. It's a limited edition. If I don't buy it now I might never see it again.

9. Well, dammit, I just need more cds with banjos (or nyckelharpas... or bodhrans...) on them.

10. Hey, this cd is cheaper than food!

11. It's a benefit cd.

12. I worked some extra hours this week, so this is extra money...

So you see what I'm up against. They're all valid reasons too. I just recently sent some money to the Snowden Environmental Trust, which got me a Dar Williams tape. I'm helping the environment! I'm sure everybody has ways to justify their excesses. The first step towards recovery is to realize the ways we justify things.

Animals spotted tonight. three tree-climbing raccoons, one jaywalking opossum, and seven sleeping egrets.

cds that I probably had really good reasons for buying: The Gathering "Always...", Doc Wor Mirran "Garage Pretensions" and "Fressing Heads", The Ass Baboons of Venus "Spanking the Species" (I got this one absolutely free for being an extra in a movie called "Legend of the Waterbreakers". As of yet, I don't think it has been released. Starring ex-girl as perpetually pregnant rock stars. We got to help keep the babies in. Don't ask.), Coil vs ELpH, and In the Spirit of Crazy Horse - Songs for Leonard Peltier

now: Sally Doherty and the Sumacs "Sleepy Memory"

Today was day number two for me at Hidden Villa. I had a group of ten kids, two of whom were scared of most of the animals. Even the chickens. I caught the same rooster I caught last week, and he did the same thing again - crowed with indignation. When I put him back, the other roosters beat him up for being slow enough to get caught. I'd better stop catching him or his days are numbered. I lifted over the little wooden foot bridges and found a baby alligator lizard and a black widow. The kids really liked the lizard, but were a bit uncertain about the spider. Later, I found a little tree frog and everybody liked it. Even the timid kids.
It was pretty hot today, and by the end of the tour, at least a couple of the kids were whining about being hot and thirsty. Feeding them borage flowers didn't seem to help. I left them with their snacks and went to the museum.
I built a structure out of Kapla blacks in the Zoom Zone and timed how long it was before somebody knocked it down. It was so slow today that it was a full two hours and twenty minutes before it tumbled down under the hands of a very guilty looking girl.

Meanwhile, out in space, an 800 mile wide globe makes itself known. It is in orbit out beyond Pluto, and it circumnavigates the sun every two hundred and something years. Expect George Bush to declare it as "evil" in the next few days. Funds will be diverted into the space program, and an armada will be sent out to meet it. Maybe they'll tell us it's the Death Star to keep us riled up enough to vote for Bush in the next election. If this happens, it would be no more transparent than the crap he's already pulling.

Animals spotted tonight: One Night heron, one skunk, and nine egrets.

cds listened to while thinking that Night herons are odd birds: Dirty Three "Ufkuko" and "Ocean Songs", Heartbeat - Voices of First Nations Women, Dissecting Table "Zigoku", Doc Wor Mirran "Lasher" and "The Music of Blood"

now: Dar Williams "I Have No History"

I haven't bought a cd in weeks. This is akin to a practicing alcoholic saying s/he hasn't had a drink in weeks. I made a decision to cut down on my consumption for a number of reasons. The first one is that I've had my hours cut at both of my jobs, and money is getting a little tighter. The second one is that I'm starting to become overwhelmed by the number of cds I have. The ongoing list at the bottom of each blog illustrates my attempts to listen through my entire collection. I started doing this in january, and I'm not even halfway done yet. I'm also going to be a father sometime next year. I'm already a stepfather, but I'm not totally financially responsible for Lexy, Nathan, or Sophie. I think my priorities are starting to shift in light of my impending fatherhood. I really have invested a lot of energy over the years building my music collection. I wonder what I could have accomplished by now if all of that energy had been invested elsewhere? Let's see if I stay on the wagon or not. This seems like a time to grow. I feel different somehow. More free.

animals spotted tonight: two raccoons and fourteen egrets

cds listened to tonight (note: no new ones): Chu Ishikawa "Tetsuo", Die Cheerleader "Filth by Association" and "Son of Filth", Coil "Windowpane", The Gathering "Downfall - the Early Years", and Dirty Old Man River "The Saddest Movie Screen"

now: Lila Downs "Border"

I got a female hissing cockroach on friday, so that we can have the joy of watching it give birth, and the additional joy of watching the babies grow. Later, Matt and I went to see Lila Downs at the Brava theater in the Mission district in S.F. She has one of those deep, honey-velvet type voices. Sort of like June Tabor, except she does Central and South American style folk songs instead of english ones. She also looks strangely like Frida Kahlo. Her percussionist was playing a cajon, which is basically a wooden box with a soundwell. We have one of those at the museum, but this is the first time I've seen one played professionally. The various musicians did solos, which I usually find a little annoying. This time it was okay, because in addition to sax, harp, bass, and percussion solos, there was a juggling solo. A really good juggling solo. I like that! The audience was on its feet by the end.
After the show, we went to Matt's house and, with flashlight in hand, poked around in his shed for black widows. We managed to get one into a little plastic cage without too much difficulty. I figured this would be a good bonus at the spider workshop I was helping out with on sunday.
Saturday, Lexy had a birthday party (his sixth) at the park, featuring a really tough pinata, a large amount of chocolate cake, and a lot of new toys that got stuck in trees. I still have a sizeable gouge in my right arm from getting down the air-powered plane that Jason got him. Sophie got really messy and ate lots of cake.
On sunday, Jen got to go to a lingerie shower. I heartily approve! I went to the museum and helped facilitate the spider workshop. The children in attendance were all around Lexy's age. I read them Eric Carle's "The Very Busy Spider" and showed them an assortment of arachnids. I brought the Pink-toed tarantula, the Tucson Blonde tarantula, the Black Widow (to show everybody what the only dangerous local spider looks like - surprisingly enough, a lot of people have never really seen one of these), the Tanzanian Giant Banded Tailless Whip scorpion (biggest name, smallest creature), the vinegaroon, and the Emperor scorpion. The children then made their own spiders out of pre-cut circles, fabric, and an assortment of "eyes" and "legs" made out of various things. Everybody enjoyed themselves. I'm giving more thought to doing this at schools.

Tonight, less than an hour ago, I got pulled over yet again. This time it was in sight of our house. Apparently I have a brake light out. The cop asked if he could search my car. I mulled that one over for a moment and then let him do it. I asked his partner if they made a habit of searching cars they stop for non-functioning lights. She said they did, because of the time of night. I somehow think that is bullshit. If I had been driving a Lexus and wearing a suit I bet they wouldn't have searched the car. They probably wouldn't even have pulled me over. Haven't they figured it out by now? The people in the expensive cars and the suits usually have a lot more to hide than the people with long hair and torn jeans driving filthy Nissans. It looked even dirtier with all of those cop lights shining on it. And what is that damned spider web stuff all over the back of my car? Maybe the spiders were having a people workshop. At any rate, they didn't find anything. Maybe I should put mouse traps in my glove compartment so that next time they will... Can you tell I'm a bit irritated? I feel like I've been profiled. At least I didn't get a ticket. If I was a criminal I'd try to look like George Bush. Nobody would think I was intelligent enough to do anything wrong. hmmm... maybe that's how he got where he is today. It sure fooled me. I didn't think he had a chance in hell of becoming president. If it wasn't for his connections he'd probably be working the night shift at a gas station. Okay, enough ranting for one night.

Animals spotted: six egrets, one tiny little baby opossum, and one skunk.

cds listened to while looking suspicious: Ulali "Mahk Jchi", Pale Nudes "Soul Come Home", Fomoflo "no.11" and "Slug & Firearms", Tone Dogs "The Early Middle Years", and Der Eisenrost "Armored Weapon"

now: Jorg Thomasius & Doc Wor Mirran "The Sound of Silver"

I ordered pants for the wedding this week because I'd look pretty funny getting married without pants. I also ordered a strange bug this week because... well, because I could, dammit. I hope my discovery of internet invertebrate stores doesn't open a whole new can of worms (so to speak). My bug, a Tanzanian Giant Banded Tailless Whipscorpion, arrived today. He came tucked among the folds of some slightly damp paper towels inside a plastic container, which was inside another plastic container inside a box full of packing peanuts. He also came with his own lunch - an even smaller plastic container full of micro crickets. If you ever want to ship live bugs, take notes.
He is a small arachnid with impressively long front legs. He can fold them up so he doesn't trip over them when he walks. Like his name suggests, his legs are indeed banded. I fixed up a living space for him and fed him his lunch. He immediately sprang into action and gobbled up some crickets. Seeing his speed, I decided that I probably won't hold him much. He would be hard to catch if he got away.
In other invertebrate news, I found that I have competition in my efforts to collect dead bees in the museum garden. The Yellowjackets like to eat them. I saw one today munching away - "gorging themselves on the recently deceased," to paraphrase the hit song.

Outside, it is cool and pleasant. The leaves are starting to fall.

Animals spotted tonight: Did you guess skunks and egrets? Two of one and ten of the other.

cds, always cds: Finntroll "Jaktens Tid" (polka metal!), Amy Denio "Birthing Chair Blues", v/a "Tulikulkku", The (EC) Nudes "Vanishing Point", and Marta Gudrun Halldorsdottir & Orn Magnusson "Islensk Bjodlog" (this is an approximation, since there are no icelandic characters on my keyboard)... (like you care...)

Now: R. Carlos Nakai & William Eaton "Ancestral Voices"

I led my first farm tour of the season on Tuesday. They've smoothed out the dirt road leading into Hidden Villa, and covered it with some sort of dust retardant. Other than that, things haven't changed much. The gourd tunnel in the garden, which was just a wooden framework the last time I was on the farm, is now a mass of gourd vines. I crawled through with the kids, enjoying the earthy smell and the feel of dirt underneath my hands. We pulled up carrots and consumed them. One of the younger goats tried to eat my beard. I caught a rooster who, full of righteous indignation, pecked me and then started to crow. Perhaps he had forgotten to do this at dawn and was making up for lost time. The bees are back in the hive, and the kids crowded 'round to observe. Duckweed covers the pond, as it always does. This time nobody mistook it for a lawn. I still remember one boy who jumped right in, and spent the rest of the day rather moist. I found a large Jerusalem cricket under one of the little foot bridges. One boy really wanted to find tarantulas. He was disappointed. It's great to be back.

The nights are getting colder, and the air has that autumn smell. Smoke and memories.

Sophie likes the Louis Wain prints hanging up in the hall. She now says "cat" and will point at the pictures when asked where the cats are. We should always know where the cats are.

Cat is not sure about the man. The man is always trying to make friends. Silly man. Friends always must have food. Man has no food. When will man go away? Cat must prowl.

animals spotted: two skunks and twelve egrets. ...and Frankie the cat.

cds I listened to while being glad that the papers weren't three hours late again and that the rollover accident was on the other side of the freeway: Coil "Musick to Play in the Dark - Vol.2", Ethereal Travel "The Mad Cartridge", Fear of God "Within the Veil" and "Toxic Voodoo", and Kronos Quartet "Night Prayers"

Now: Joanne Shenandoah "Warrior in two Worlds" soundtrack

The newspapers were over three hours late tonight. "Electrical problems" It was refreshingly windy, and there was a nice crescent moon smiling down on me as I hurried along. My cd player is acting up on me. Time to go to bed.

Animals: two skunks up past their bedtime, and fifteen + egrets buffeted by the wind while they slept.

cds: Demi Semi Quaver "Golden Animal Head", Amy Denio/Pat Graney Dance Company "Tattoo", Amy Denio "Greatest Hits", Coil "Musick to Play in the Dark - vol.1"

now, to lull me to sleep: Time Machines

There it squats, in the darkness of our garage. It took three people, a pallet jack, and a large truck to get it here. It used to hold tropical fish, and it is lined with decorative rocks. It is made of plexiglass and has it's own metal stand, complete with an arcane assortment of wires and tubes... and a small, plush frog attached to a spring. We're thinking of setting it up in the backyard and putting tortoises in it. Temperate tortoises, of course, as tropical tortoises would get terribly cold, which would make them testy and temperamental.
These are the kind of fringe benefits I get from working at a children's museum. Of course, at the same time, they appear to have cut my hours. That makes two jobs with decreased hours. I really love the extra free time (which allows me to be typing this at 3:50 in the morning), but money is becoming a little more of an issue. I've started cutting down on my one real vice - buying cds. I've obviously got enough of them. It's the adrenaline rush of finding a new cd in the store that always traps me. Before I know it, I've spent a hundred dollars or more. I've decided to visit the cd stores less often. I don't know if I can quit cold turkey or not. That's probably not the wisest way to go about it. Maybe if I just stick to the limited issue cds - the ones that I won't be able to find later... Just social drinking... one more cigarette... I can quit any time... ha ha.

animals spotted tonight: one katydid, two skunks, and fifteen egrets.

cds that I didn't buy recently, but enjoyed nonetheless: Death In June "Cathedral of Tears", Deep Turtle "There's a Vomitsprinkler in my Liverriver" and "Rip-off Dokumento", Demi Semi Quaver - two different self-titled cds, one of which is an anthology collecting previous releases... I'm so confused. I wish I knew Japanese.

Now "hey, I bought it used! I'm saving money!: Joanne Shenandoah/Lawrence Laughing "Orenda"

The nights are getting cooler and a carpet of leaves is forming on the lawns and sidewalks. A crescent moon peeks between clouds. I find myself musing about all of the times people have been scared of me. There was a guy tonight who asked if he could use my electronic key fob to get into the gated community I was delivering to. Of course, he was standing in front of the only gate in the complex that foiled my fob. I told him that if he wanted to follow me into the parking garage, I'd let him in through the other door. He seemed reluctant to follow me, like he was afraid I was going to mug him. He kept a good amount of distance between us. Of course, maybe he wanted into the complex so he could rob people. Who knows. On another occasion, some time back, I was running through a different complex and a couple of women thought I was chasing them. I've never seen anybody run in high heels before or since. We must remember that not everybody who runs is out to get you, unless, of course, the person in question is a politician. They're all out to get us. There have been several other occasions when I've caught people off guard and startled the hell out of them. I've hit people in the legs with newspapers. A couple of times, I've raised my arm to throw a paper and people have thought I was about to hit them. I always feel a little bad. I know the fact that I always run the route and am usually dressed all in black means that people are going to be a bit wary of me, but if I slowed down and dressed all in white I would get home later and look absolutely filthy because of all the black newsprint all over my clothes.

Animals spotted tonight: three skunks, eleven egrets (one of them was partially awake!), and one very large slug (hey, somebody has to notice them).

cds I listened to while scaring people: Hot Buttered Xhol, Empyrium "A Wintersunset...", "Songs of Moors and Misty Fields", and "Where at Night the Wood Grouse Plays", Nordisk Sang - songs of Norway, and Death In June "Burial"

Now: Yoik - a presentation of Saami folk music (they're not kidding either - 195 yoiks, arranged geographically from south to north)