Here it is, Monday again.

On Friday, everybody (except Lexy, who was stuck at school) came to Hidden Villa with me. The Dickens was especially impressed, and is still talking about it. She even mentions donkeys, which she didn't see because there aren't any there. Willow liked it too, and performed her smiley baby dance. Some of us saw the turtle. The trick to turtle observation is to see it before it knows you're there. I had everybody stop at the top of the crooked stone stairs and gaze across the creek towards the pond. Sure enough, the algae-covered turtle was basking at the top of the wooden board that serves as a ramp out of the concrete, rectangular pond. Then one of the kids spoke, or moved, and the turtle vanished. This was followed by the complaints of the kids who hadn't gotten a peek at him.

On Saturday, I loaded most of my critters into the car and drove to the house of two small children who were having a birthday party. I had been hired to put on an hour long creature presentation, which was in keeping with the theme of the party. The boy, who was turning five, had a few Garter snakes and a Bluebelly as pets, so he was no stranger to reptiles. His sister, who was turning seven, was also enthusiastic about my carload of creatures. I set everything up in the backyard, and soon nearly thirty kids descended upon me. To their credit, they all sat down politely on the quilts spread out on the lawn, while the parents hovered on the sidelines or sat on benches. I started things out small, with the cockroaches, scorpions, Millipede, and tarantulas. There was some high pitched screaming from the more timid members of the audience, but most people at least touched the cockroaches, Millipede, and the slow tarantula. The fast tarantula and the scorpions I didn't offer to the crowd, for obvious reasons. Then I moved on to the small snakes, the idea being to build up to the larger, more impressive reptiles. The Trans Pecos Rat snake, Pueblan Milk snake, and Western Hognose snake all got their share of gentle touching. I kept up a steady chatter as I moved through the crowd, disseminating snake facts and asking questions of the audience. Then it was time to move on to the bigger reptiles... Here I discovered a slight problem with the whole "build up to the bigger reptiles" approach. My hands, which by this time contained the scent of many different animals, proved to be too much temptation for the Water Monitor. The Monitor is constantly on the move, so I just kind of guide him over my body without restraining him too much. During a moment when he had crawled over my shoulder and onto my back, I reached around to guide him around front again. This is when he latched onto the ring finger on my left hand. I quickly turned around and pinned him to the ground. I'm not sure at this point if the kids were aware of what had happened. These things always happen quickly. I pinned him because being bitten by a three foot Monitor is sort of like being bitten by a three foot Crocodile - the teeth are very similar, and they usually follow up the bite by thrashing and rolling in an attempt to tear off chunks of flesh. The father of the birthday kids asked if there was anything he could do to help. I pondered this for a moment, and finally arrived at, "if you could just grab the upper jaw and pull gently upwards...". While he was doing this, I grabbed the Monitor by the lower jaw and promply opened up a gash on my right thumb when I hooked it on a tooth. The stategy worked though, and I quickly returned the blood-spattered lizard to his travelling case (actually a large cooler). Then it was inside to wash the blood off and bandage my fingers with large bandaids and duct tape to hold them firmly in place. Then I went back outside to finish up.
After all of this, the Burmese python was a bit of an anticlimax, but the kids really liked him and took turns standing in a line with the snake draped across their shoulders. The whole lizard incident had happened so quickly that most of the kids didn't seem to realize what had happened. Or if they did, it hadn't bothered them much.
I stayed around afterwards for cake. There were actually two cakes - one shaped like a snake, and the other one shaped like a mound of dirt (ice cream covered with crumbled bits of chocolate Oreos) and covered with plastic reptiles.
And then, despite the fact that I'd bled all over their patio, they tipped me fifty dollers over the price we had agreed on. I really liked both of the parents, and the kids, who were just brimming over with excitement the whole time. I'm glad I could add something to their party.
So the lesson here is to either bring out the Monitor first or wash my hands between animals. I may even resort to wearing gardening gloves. That might be a good idea anyway because his claws are sharp and tend to scratch up my arms.
As for my fingers, the bite is quite deep, but not too ugly to look at. The gash on my thumb is shallow. I'm a little worried about infection, and have been slathering it with neosporin. Hopefully it won't require more than that.
Not an auspicious beginning to any possible career as a birthday party entertainer, I fear.

cds I listened to while bandaged: Current 93 "As the World Disappears" and "Nature Unveiled", Paul Chain "Violet Art of Improvisation", and Diamanda Galas "Defixiones - Will and Testament"