There is such a profound difference between sitting in my apartment and being up at camp. I like my apartment, but I find myself growing depressed if I spend too many consecutive hours there, especially if I'm on the computer. The computer can be a window to the world, but it can also be a hobbling chain around my legs. It sucks me in sometimes, and I find myself spinning in mental circles. I think that after I finish my last school term, I'm going to take a week off from the computer - just as kind of an experiment to see if I go through withdrawals.

On the other hand, when I'm up at camp, I feel I can really breathe. The wheel of the sky spins through the night, and I can watch the moon and stars slowly spin away behind the dark silhouettes of the hills. I can see the pale shadows of deer out on the moonlit field, heads bowed as they chew, but ears alert and twitching. I can feel the cool night air refresh me and lift me. I feel that I'm making a difference in the lives of the kids who visit me in the night, whether they're homesick or have other problems. I love seeing them leave the camp office with smiles. I also love being up alone at night. There's nothing more peaceful than being out under the stars while everybody else is sleeping.

I think I'll go back out there now.