The fact that I'm spending more time reflecting on love today, on Valentine's Day 2009, than I have over the last few years, should tell me something. This is my first Valentine's Day as a single person in... well, nearly a decade. If I wanted to count my previous, off again on again relationship, I could stretch that amount to closer to two decades.

The lesson is to not take love for granted. I'm just getting to the point where I can start to properly mourn the death of my relationship with Jen. I think it's sad that our love wasn't unconditional. I accepted her flaws, but in the end she couldn't accept mine. Maybe her lack of understanding is partially my fault. I can't always find the words to communicate the important things. Sometimes, the more important something (or somebody) is to me, the more tongue-tied I become. It's kind of ironic then, that I'm sitting here and typing away, communicating to anybody who happens across this page, when there was a pretty serious communication breakdown within the framework of my marriage.

I believe in love. I believe in sticking with people, and with ideas. I consider myself a romantic at heart, and a dreamer (sometimes to the exclusion of practicality). I'm sad today, and lonely. At the same time, I know this will change. I plan on being more careful, and more communicative next time.

Don't we all?

Happy Valentine's Day to everyone. Love like there's no tomorrow! Sometimes there isn't.

Currently listening to: Bittova & Fajt "s/t"