The man who didn't know how to leave.

He had a nice car, and seemed mighty concerned with keeping it that way. You could almost see the gears turning in his head as he approached a speed bump.

"What should the angle of impact be? Can I go around it? Okay, I can't go around it, so I'll hit it at a 45 degree angle doing approximately 2mph. There, one more obstacle surmounted. Oh damn, here comes another one. Careful now. Okay, cleared it. Uh, oh, a gate. Now I know I had to pass through a gate on the way in, but I had help. Maybe it will open on its own. I hear they sometimes do that... No... it's not opening. Oh shit, there's a guy behind me. He's probably getting impatient. Maybe he knows how to get out. I'll ask"
"Hey, how do I get out? Oh, I have to get closer? But which way does the gate open? If I get closer won't it swing open and dent my car? Ihaveanicecaryouknow."

cds I listened to while stuck behind the slow guy: Stone Angel "East of the Sun", Arco "Ending Up", Cannibal Ferox/Zombie soundtrack, Cop Shoot Cop "Consumer Revolt", Meathead/Cop Shoot Cop "Dick Smoker Plus", Rainywood "s/t"

Oh yeah, the little man who's stuck in my windshield wiper got hit by a bug, staining his robes green. Now he's even angrier. We're going camping this weekend. It's about time.