I pass by this truck every night. It looks like it's on steroids, the way it bulges. A toddler could walk right under it without ducking. Another reason it stands out is that the selfish bastard who owns it always parks it diagonally across two spaces - probably because he spends hours waxing it after the game on the weekends. It's an even bet that he never hauls anything in it for the same reason. Don't want to scuff it up, do we? This got me to thinking about a news story I read awhile back - I remember it mostly because of the silly P.C. language (yes, political correctness does have a time and a place, but sometimes it does go too far...). The story was about an airline (I forget which one) that decided it wanted to charge (remember, corporations exist only to make money) "persons of size" double because they take up more space than people "not of size." What size are they referring to here? LARGE SIZE? small size? Medium size? Excersize? Extra size? Maybe they should have said "persons of diameter." No, that sounds too big. How about "persons of radius"? That's better. Or maybe "persons of questionable circumference". The point is that when you make it obvious that you're avoiding certain words in order not to offend somebody, it ends up sounding condescending, nay, downright insulting. This, of course, is exactly the opposite of the intended effect.
That said, let me talk about trucks of size for a moment. The reason this truck I pass every night, made me think of the article was this: Wouldn't it be funny if parking garages started charging double for these behemoths? They should. If your vehicle needs more than one space, you should have to pay for more than one space. Of course, your vehicle also uses more than its fair share of gas, and has about as much aesthetic charm as dog poop. Are you so small inside that you feel the only way people will ever look up to you is if your driver's seat is ten feet off the ground?
Okay, I feel better now. This is much safer than vandalizing the damn thing anyway. The guy probably has calluses on his knuckles where they drag along the ground when he walks. It would hurt to get hit by a guy who has calluses on his knuckles.

cds I listened to while sneering at trucks of size: Celtic Frost "Morbid Tales", CMX "Musiikin Ystavalliset Kasvot" and "Rautakantele", Karl Blake "The Prehensile Tales"

cd I'm listening to while writing about sneering at trucks of size: Miroslav Vitous/Jan Garbarek "Atmos"

oh yes, while I'm on the subject of news stories, I actually heard a news announcer on a local talk station use the phrase "fatally killed." Is there some other kind of "killed" I don't know about?