More Chaos

It's easy to discount another person's experience, or if not exactly discount it, at least misunderstand it in some fundamental way.

While Nero fiddles in the White House, parts of our country are burning. The catalyst was the death of George Floyd. Maybe that's not quite right. George Floyd's death was one of many wrongful deaths of African Americans at the hands of the police. Add to that the systematic racism embedded in our way of life, and the class barriers that, while ill-defined, are nonetheless there, and you have a final indignity at the end of a long list of indignities. That's not quite right either. Unfortunately, it won't be the final indignity. I think that's where the anger and helplessness that fueled this new wave of anger comes from. People talk a good game about being one country, but we're not even two countries, as many of us have thought over the last few years. We're many countries, existing in the same physical space, passing each other in the dark as we look over our shoulders to make sure we're not being followed. As a middle-aged white male, my experience has been one of privilege. That means I don't have to think or talk about racism if I don't want to. It doesn't directly affect me. I was born into a position of power. If I had been born female, or if my skin was a different shade, or if I was gay or transgender, or if I had been born in another country, I'd be at risk. In some ways, it took me a long time to fully begin to comprehend that. It's so much easier to blame one's problems on the "other" than it is to look in the mirror. It is so much easier to quietly benefit from a system based on inequality than it is to speak up. It it so much easier to circle the wagons around a comfortable life than it is to do anything substantial. I'm at least partially guilty of the last. I am comfortable. I have the luxury of sitting here typing this. I have electricity and I just had lunch, and other than a gnawing in the pit of my stomach about how Covid-19 is going to affect my employment in the near future, I don't really have much to worry about.

There is a lot of conversation about the fires and other destruction, with all of the predictable talking points being dragged out for the umpteenth time. I haven't been to any of the protests, so I can't speak from first-hand experience. I also fear a spike in Covid-19 cases in a couple of weeks. People attend protests for different reasons. The majority are there to actually protest. After all, there is strength is numbers. Many voices speak louder than one. Some are there for their own selfish emotional reasons. Some are there to wreak havoc, either because they're pissed off or because they just like breaking and stealing things, or they just get caught up in the herd mentality of the event. Some are there not to protest, but to make the protesters look bad by causing damage. Some are undercover cops. I'm sure I left out some reasons that I haven't even crossed my mind. It's a complicated situation, but what isn't complicated is the anger. The anger that has always been there is being vented. Historically, the protests come and go but nothing changes, at least not fundamentally. Comfortable people tend to react to these protests with fear, which eclipses any understanding or empathy. Understanding and empathy are crucial right now. Taking a good, long look at ourselves is also crucial. Don't react to anger with anger. React with understanding. That's a step in the right direction.

My stepdaughter really wants to be at the protests, but being a veteran of protests, she has taken on a more advisory role for the less experienced while she continues sheltering in place. My daughter, who is still at her mom's sheltering in place, texted me a link of resources for being an ally and donating. I'm proud of them both. Where will this all end? It won't, I'm afraid. I think it will be just another flare-up. The chaos can't be sustained indefinitely. What good will come of it? Conversations like this one, maybe. More people becoming aware that there is a serious problem that continues to be ignored. Ignorance breeds fear, fear breeds hatred, hatred breeds violence. Lets start by becoming less ignorant. If I could pick my least favorite human characteristic, it would probably be willful ignorance. This seems to be the root cause of all of our societal ailments. Of course, willful ignorance serves the rich and powerful. "Keep the masses dumb and that will keep them compliant, and we get to hang on to all of our money and power while they squat in the ruins of our excesses."

And yes, I think you can both deplore the violence and destruction and support the protests. At the same time, hitting the rich and powerful right in their money is a great way to get attention. It's a shame that small business owners and private citizens end up being collateral damage time after time. Anger on this level is like a force of nature though. If you have very little or nothing to lose, a bit of cathartic chaos hits the spot. Right now we seem to be in a perfect storm of chaos and uncertainty.

The trick is, I think, to have empathy. Be kind. Try to understand. Add something positive to the conversation. Try to listen more than you speak. I always tell my students that listening is a much harder skill to master than speaking is. Right now, that's very obvious.