Willow is scooting and crawling all over the place, which means she has to be monitored more carefully, especially when she's hooked up to her feeding tube. I've already seen her stretch it to the limit a couple of times. She's just a hair shy of 15 pounds now.

The Dickens has a favorite book, an epic tale called "The Big Red Barn". This book allows us to peek into the lives of various farm animals as they play in the grass and the hay and then retire for the night so the mice and bats can have their turn playing. It's actually kind of nice to enter that little-kid world where farm animals cuddle up under one roof after a fulfilling day of romping around in the grass. The Dickens seems especially curious about the goose peeking around the corner of the barn, which I made the mistake of calling "duck" the other day. Now whenever she points at it and asks, "what dat?", and I say "goose", she corrects me - "it a duck!", so duck it will stay.
One day she will grow up and realize why animals are on farms and what becomes of them. For now though, she will remain ignorant. Innocence is fleeting, and should be treasured. So should reading. We mustn't let it become a lost art.

cds I listened to while hoping no burgler alarms were going off anywhere: Primordial "Imrama", Northwinds "Masters of Magic", Savina Yannatou & Lena Platonos "Kariotakis - 13 Songs with Savina Yannatou", Bonfire Madigan "88", and Irr.App.(Ext.) "Perekluchenie"

Everybody who spends any time driving at night knows how blinding those freeway construction crew lights can be. Sure it lights up the road brighter than day so they can really see what they're doing, but it also blinds all of the drivers in their quickly moving vehicles mere feet away. Tonight, I heard somebody honking on the expressway overpass that I was in the process of driving under, and then a loud voice came drifting down on the night air: "TURN OFF THE LIGHTS!". I wonder if that's the only sound the driver made as he snapped. I don't know how long this little confrontation continued after I left the area. I'll bet no cops showed up though. They were all too busy pulling me over, supposedly because there was a burgler alarm going off somewhere in the neighborhood. They told me to put my hands on the steering wheel where they could see them, and seconds later told me to turn off the car. Have you ever tried turning off a car when both of your hands are on the steering wheel? Not possible. Then they told me to get out. Have you ever tried to get out of a car when both of your hands are on the steering wheel? Even less possible. Talk about mixed messages. They then asked if they could look in my trunk. After rummaging around a bit, one cop opined that I needed to clean my trunk. Another cop impressed us all with his vocabulary by saying things like "fuck a duck". I refrained from pointing out that ducks are pretty hard to catch, and probably wouldn't at all like that cop's attentions if they somehow failed to escape his sweaty clutches. In short order, I was on my way again, and whoever actually tripped the alarm probably got clean away as the cops were sifting through the detritus in the trunk of my car. One even asked if there was any porn back there, and seemed disappointed when I gave him a disgusted look and told him there was not. Go figure.

cds I listened to while once again looking suspicious: Killer "Shock Waves", Ghost "Hypnotic Underworld", Northwinds "Great God Pan", Savina Yannatou "Dreams of the Mermaid", and Manilla Road "The Circus Maximus"

Jen has another sore throat. I think the germs just line up outside our door with little slips of paper with numbers on them. Every once in awhile, a hollow voice says, "now serving number _", and another group of germs crosses the threshold.

I say go away and bother somebody else. We don't have time to be sick.

I've applied for a couple of jobs online. I figure if I can just click a button to buy cds and dvds, why not click a button to apply for a job?

Time for bed. Goodnight.

cds I listened to while not really being rained on: Eleni Karaindrou "Rosa/Wandering", Cadaveria "The Shadows' Madame", Pentagram "Live", Savina Yannatou & Primavera En Salonico "Terra Nostra", and Tristania "World of Glass"

I went on a hike on friday with M., who makes much less noise than the kids. Because of this absence of racket, we saw a bunch of wild turkeys, several groups of deer, and a very still rabbit. Had the kids been with us, the only animal we would have seen would have been the gopher. The gopher, being headless, would have been oblivious to any noise made by the kids.

M. and I talked about the difficulties of finding satisfactory employment.

On saturday, we took the brood, bundled them into the van, and went to a wedding. We had a fine old time. The kids rampaged around the hotel, accompanied by other like-minded children. The cake was lovely, with some sort of mocha filling. One of the hotel employees congratulated as he passed, and I thanked him, which is an automatic response to being congratulated. Only after he had gone did I wonder what on earth I had just been congratulated for. Then it struck me: he must have thought I was the groom, who also has long hair and a beard. As everybody knows, all long-haired, bearded men look exactly alike to the untrained eye.

On sunday, we partied all day. First, we stopped in to drop off some photos to the newly wedded couple. Then we went to a birthday party for K's daughter, who is 1, but only because she was born on leap day. While we were there, some clown presented me with a way to make money. When we got home, there was a message on the answering machine from M., who had heard from a mutual friend about a job opening that might interest me. As I was going to work, it struck me that the clown and the mutual friend have the same name. I don't know what this means. It's good news though.

cds I listened to while pondering change: Therion "Secret of the Runes", Eleni Karaindrou "(dammit, it's a greek title and I forgot to look up the translation)", and "Unreleased Recordings", and My Dying Bride "The Voice of the Wretched"

Tonight, the weather was pretty much the same as last night, with occasional downpours rushing earthwards out of a sky intermittently lit by flashes of lightning. Perhaps it was a little colder as well.

I had a meeting at the museum after my shift, which effectively bridged the gap between jobs, making today a long one, without much time to see Jen and the kids. I really do miss them when I'm stuck at work. During the brief time I was home, Willow giggled and bounced and wheezed. We're working on getting rid of the wheezing part.

Oh well, late to bed and early to rise makes a man tired. Not much of a proverb, I know...

cds I listened to while getting wet again: Drawn "A New World?", Cirith Ungol "Servants of Chaos", and Sopor Aeternus & the Ensemble of Shadows "Es Reiten Die Toten So Schnell"

The storm hit after I went to bed, and had calmed down a bit by the time I got up to go to work. At work, a small boy puked all over the table upon which "messy play" was supposed to happen at 3:00. Unfortunately, he puked too early for the vomit to become part of Messy Play, so we had to clean it up. Messy Play ended up involving corn starch and colored water, upon which a horde of preschoolers descended. Later, grownups had to remove the suddenly multicolored preschoolers from the room and change them into new garments. What fun.

Jen has blogged about all of the health issues the Willow has been dealing with, so I'll just add that I hope this is soon behind us. Willow doesn't seem to mind much - she hardly seems to notice the tube in her nose, and she giggles and smiles even while wheezing. Her parents worry about her though.

The rain came back tonight, and brought lightning with it. I got kind of wet while delivering papers, but despite this, I do enjoy this kind of weather. I sometimes worry that all of the water inside my car will short out the automatic windows or do some other damage, but it hasn't happened yet. I'd close my windows, but then I wouldn't be able to throw papers. I'm sure the occasional people I pass during the night scoff at the crazy guy with the rain pouring into his car. Oh well. I don't mind getting wet because I know I can come home and dry off.

cds I listened to while wondering if I should get a bucket to bail water with: My Dying Bride "The Dreadful Hours", Savina Yannatou "Lullabies", Bathory "Destroyer of Worlds", and Potentiam "Balsyn"

Alright, they promised us a storm and it hasn't yet arrived. The wind is blowing a bit, and I got a brief sprinkle of rain across my windshield (which brought to mind that old Tom Waits song, "Diamonds on my Windshield") but so far that's it. Maybe it'll hit by morning. Hopefully the wind will be strong enough to finish blowing down the dead tree in our front yard. As it is, we have to pick up bushels of branches every time there's a bit of wind. If the whole tree blows over, we can be done with it all at once. Knowing our luck with the yard, that would be the signal for some other tree to die.

Trees are blooming in the night, and I drive through patches of pleasant aroma while working. This helps balance out the patches of unpleasant aroma left behind by irritated skunks and nocturnal smokers.

I especially noticed the Willow trees tonight because they're good at withstanding storms. Also, of course, because we're in the wee hours of the anniversary of Willow's first day in the outside world. Right now she has a cold, but that beats being delivered by c-section. She's only a year old and already has had her share of storms. I fervently hope that her upcoming year, and those beyond, are less tempestuous. Happy birthday Willow.

cds I listened to while watching leaves skitter by: Paul Chain "Unreleased Vol.1", Eleni Karaindrou "Mousiki Gia Tenies" box set, and Ulver "Silencing the Singing"

Just checking - yep, I can upload images at work. Just not at home because our computer is full of pixies (that is, after all, where the word "pixel" has its origins).

It's raining, but not heavily. Tomorrow we're supposed to get more of a storm. I hope it doesn't disturb the owls that may or may not live in the large palm tree in the neighbor's yard.

Today was spent trying to keep up with the clutter. I also had to help the larger Rat snake shed and clean his cage because of a recurring mite problem. There is nothing quite like picking tiny bugs off a snake who isn't as grateful as he should be. In fact, he was downright snappy.

I have to get up soon, so I'd better go to bed. I'll leave you with some words from The Dickens: "I had poopoo diarrhea in the outside!" I hadn't even noticed that she'd swapped her diaper for some Power Puff Girls underwear. Thankfully it was outside, and I was already using the hose to clean the snake cage.

cds I listened to while waiting for more rain: Sackville "These Last Songs", Sigh "Imaginary Sonicscape", Tiamat "Brighter Than the Sun" and "For Her Pleasure", and Green Carnation "Journey to the End of the Night"

On Friday, with the threat of rain hanging over our heads, I took Lexy with me to Hidden Villa. He's been there before, of course, but never on a day that I'm leading a tour. He ended up helping out, as I knew he would since it's impossible for him to remain in the background. He did a very good job of explaining the horse hitching post (actually, a pair of old iron rings embedded in an even older oak tree) and later was of the opinion that the kids were "dull". This is because he's a sophisticated first grader and the other kids were kindergarteners. Another highlight was Emerson the pig, who grunts like a car with a broken muffler if one massages him just right.
I'm going to take Nate next friday. I figured that taking them both at the same time might detract from my real purpose of leading tours comprised of people who have paid for them.

On Saturday we had a party for Willow (after much scrubbing and cooking and whatnot). She was immediately impressed with her new xylaphone and drum, and has since playfully explored her other gifts as well. The Dickens was of the opinion that all of the gifts were actually hers, including the snazzy new highchair that Jen brought home from the store.
It really was an important celebration - more so than most birthdays. Jen's pregnancy was complicated, to say the least. Her birth was unexpectedly early. And of course there's this darn anemia thing that we're dealing with now. Add all of this to the fact that the anybody's first birthday is special, and you have a very heartfelt celebration.

Of course, now we're all getting another cold, although so far I've been spared. I think we've more than filled our cold quota for the year. Somebody call the disease police.

Random thought: Have you ever noticed that when somebody accuses you of standing in the way of progress, it's usually because you're standing in the way of decline? Think about it.

cds I listened to while wondering where the forecast rain had gotten to: Feederz "Teachers In Space", Goblin "Il Fantastico Viaggio del Bagarozzo Mark", Opera IX "Maleventum", and V/A "Hand/Eye"

We're having a birthday party for Willow on saturday, and as usual there's too much to do. Not that that has ever stopped us before. I have also just been asked to show up at another birthday party a couple of weeks from now with my reptiles and bugs. They're paying me too. This is good, because even though money does technically grow on trees, you get in trouble if you make your own.

I suppose I'd better get some sleep now. I'm taking Lexy with me to Hidden Villa tomorrow, since he's got the week off from school. It may rain though. Not that this necessarily stops the tours - it just means more puddle splashing opportunities and the chance to get a whiff of the lovely aroma of soggy sheep. Soggy cows too, no doubt, since they don't have the sense to come in out of the rain. Come to think of it, neither do I.

cds I listened to while waiting for the rain: Manilla Road "The Courts of Chaos", Folque "Vardoger", Skyclad "No Daylights Nor Heeltaps", Diamanda Galas "La Serpenta Canta", and Tarentel "Ephemera - singles 99-2000"

Problem solved, thanks to helpful support people at Blogger.

Okay, so in addition to not being able to upload images, I now can't post at all. I'm not exactly sure why. Of course, when you are reading this at some as yet unknown time in the (hopefully) near future, the problem will have been solved and this whole post will be moot. I'm only writing it at all out of sheer, stubborn habit.

cds I listened to further in the past than one might think: Alquimia "Wings of Perception", Leakh "The Wreckoning", Faun Fables "Family Album", John Trudell "Johnny Damas and Me", and Neko Case "Blacklisted"

We're having a nice little storm at the moment. It's been spitting horizontal rain since early afternoon. Our lovely dead tree has gotten a bit smaller and our lawn is littered with branches. The big, dead branch that has been hanging off of one of the trees in the backyard since last year has finally succumbed to gravity. Nate and The Dickens went out and danced around it like extras from "Lord of the Flies".

I've discovered that the uploading problem we're having here is unique to our computer, and not a blogger problem. I can upload images just fine if I'm at work, but not here. I have absolutely no idea how to fix this problem. It irks me something fierce. Okay, maybe not fierce, but at least grouchy.

cds I listened to while becoming soggy: Strebers "Meningslost Liv(e)"%Ì^|ñ¬Xtrong>Kristi Stassinopoulou "The Secrets of the Rocks", The Gathering "Souvenirs", Mirror "Die Spiegelmanufaktur", and Steeleye Span "Gone to Australia - on tour 1975-84"

Another weekend spent getting little tasks done around the house. We also managed to acquire a new pet, more by chance than design. It's a rat, which might strike some of you as funny, since most rodents who enter our house end up as snake or lizard food. This rat was actually intended to be just such a meal. I knocked it out and dropped it in the python cage, but the python just kind of looked at it. I then noticed that he was about to shed, which I should have noticed earlier, but didn't because I've been busy with many other things. Shedding snakes, by the way, often won't eat. I took the rat out and the boys started asking if we could keep it as a pet. I finally caved in and got an old cage out of the garage. Lexy wanted to name it "Ratty", but Jen suggested "Lucky". Lucky indeed. The python shed today.

In related news, the pet store around the corner seems to have skipped town. Oh well. I like the Reptile Ranch better anyway.

I got a night off from work as well, and spent it nicely.

cds I listened to while enjoying the light, warmish rain: Hrsta "s/t", Tarnation "I'll Give You Something to Cry About!", The Danubians "s/t", Ulver "Silence Teaches You How To Sing", Skepticism "Farmakon", and Sigtryggur Berg Sigmarsson "A Little Lost"

I was holding The Dickens yesterday, and I asked her if she was my girl. She looked up at me and replied, "no, I you Dickens."

I still can't upload pictures, and I have no idea why. I keep checking though. They say that one way to tell if a person is insane is if they keep trying the same thing the same way, but expecting different results...

Hmmm... I still can't upload files.

Jen already wrote about the frenzied day we had today, so I'll move on... It's funny how going to work is usually more relaxing than being at home. Well, not really - all I'm doing is driving around, listening to music, and folding/throwing newspapers. Tonight was no exception, although some chain-smoker driving in front of me on the freeway kept flicking butts out of his window so that little orange sparks bounced across my hood. Why the hell don't people use their ashtrays? Later, I saw a cop chasing an SUV, the driver of which had his hand out the window, no doubt making a rude gesture of some sort. I couldn't quite see. Still much less exciting than home though. It doesn't get much more crazy than when one child is bleeding, one is whining because he isn't getting as much attention as the bleeding child, and one is proudly holding her poop in her hand. Willow was largely unconcerned with all of this activity. Jen and I need a nice vacation.

cds I listened to while wondering if the cop ever managed to pull over the moron in the SUV: Cruachan "Tuatha na Gael", Iva Bittova/Andreas Kroper "Echoes", Jewlia Eisenberg "Trilectic", The Green Pajamas "In A Glass Darkly", Dunwich "Sul Monte E Il Tuono", and Aranos-Mueller-Rosenau "Bleeding In Behind Pastel Screens"

I can't seem to get pictures to upload at the moment, so no new drawings today. It makes me wish I knew how to troubleshoot more effectively, although I think the problem exists on the other end.

I'm in task-avoidance mode now. I should be concentrating on getting a new job, but instead I'm making little lists of things that need to be done. To be fair, some of the items on the list have to do with job finding - things like "fix resume" and "brainstorm". Then there are things like, "clean hall closet" and "buy mice" which, while they need to be done, probably don't have to be written down. It does feel good to make lists though. You get the feeling of accomplishment while actually not accomplishing a damn thing. It's sort of a virtual accomplishment. My next step is to compile all of the little lists into a bigger list. Then I can prioritize the items on it. After this, perhaps I will get some things done, in random order of course, because for some reason it is the most odious tasks that float to the top whenever a list is organized into a descending order of priority. Such is life.

cds I listened to so I could rush home and list them here: Tony Hill "Inexactness", The Ida Retsin Family "Volume 1", Volcano The Bear "Five Hundred Boy Piano", Asta Kask "Kravallsymfonier 78-86", Retsin "Moon Money Moon", and Giya Kancheli "Lament"

The days have been sunny and cool this week, making it feel like spring is crouching in wait. The nights, on the other hand, have been quite cool. I may not be up and around at night in another couple of months if the rumors about the impending end of my job prove true. I've got to put a little more effort into finding alternate employment. I've never had to really search for a job, so my skills are a little untested in that department. I think I'll just start talking about it nonstop to everybody I know and maybe I'll land another job the way I've always done it in the past - by knowing somebody who knows somebody...
I used to occasionally get job offers from parents visiting the museum or tagging along on tours at Hidden Villa - it was usually something along the lines of, "how would you like to come teach at the preschool I direct?" At the time I wasn't interested. Now I might be, although after witnessing the lack of insight and rudimentary social skills of some of the parents that Lexy's teacher has to deal with (not to mention some of the kids themselves), I'm not as enthusiastic about becoming a classroom teacher as I once was.

The Dickens woke me from my nap this afternoon by licking me on the nose. What a strange little girl she is sometimes.

cds I listened to while driving thither and yon: Strebers "Kaos & Skral 85-87", Dirty Three "Obvious is Obvious", Vasen "Live at the Nordic Roots Festival", Einsturzende Neubauten "Strategies Against Architecture III, 1991-2001", and Sieben "The Line and the Hook"

This monday sure lived up to its reputation. Jen took Willow to get a new nose hose, and ended up waiting a couple of hours for them to put it in. At home, Lexy managed to lock the door to the boys' room from the inside so that we couldn't get it unlocked. Usually all you have to do is push a small screwdriver or hair pin through the little hole in the handle and jiggle it until the door unlocks, but apparently this doesn't work on our doors. Jen called up from the little, nurseless room she was waiting in with Willow, and suggested I try a credit card. About five minutes and a mangled visa card later, I got the door open, but not before The Dickens had pulled up the metal strip at the edge of the carpet in the hall, scattering the remaining nails across the linoleum. She's been working at that one for a few days, and this was the proud culmination of her efforts. I took the strip from her and hid it on top of the python cage, where it will no doubt remain for weeks. At about this time, Lexy fell off his chair in the kitchen, dropping his soup bowl, which rolled all the way over to the laundry machine, leaving a trail of chicken noodle soup behind it. The Dickens, not to be bested, poured her own soup all over herself. I picked her up and put her in the bath. Later, after she was clean and dry, Jen, who had finally made it home from her interminable wait at the clinic, caught her shoving cheese through the hole in the wall in the hall. This was a different kind of cheese from what she had purportedly been shoving into the air purifier earlier in the day.

But now it's tuesday. Ha ha.

cds I listened to while monday was turning into tuesday: Cybele "Interactive Playground", Clare Fader "The Elephant's Baby", The Moonlighters "Hello Heartstring", and Ektroverde "Integral"

Faun Fables (Dawn and Nils) played a cd release party in Oakland for their new cd on Saturday night, so I guiltily left Jen at home with the kids and went to see them. It was the first gig of the year for me, and the first cd purchase as well. This particular show involved parents, siblings, and friends, as one would expect for a release party for a cd called "Family Album". Dawn's family seem all to be excellent musicians - her mom has a beautiful voice and plays a mean piano to boot. Her brother pounded out some Beethoven to raucous applause. Nils' family told stories. I could go on, but you get the idea. It was sort of like a variety show or a salon show. Haven't listened to the cd yet. I have to let it age for a week or so, sort of like wine or cheese. Anyway, the show was beautiful. M. did the backing music for the first and final songs of the evening, and actually managed to sell $80 worth of cds at the merchandise table. He then came home with me so he could wake me up the next morning with one of Willow's squeaky toys (a few hours after my initial awakening by Jen to trudge to Safeway for face tape). Actually M. came over because A., who is due to give birth to her first child sometime next month, was meeting us here so we could hang out and discuss babies. It was during this time, as we were eating lunch at the rather average restaurant down the street, that Willow decided that she likes cheesecake. We're hoping that she eats more in the morning since, as those of you who have arrived here from Jen's blog already know, she has removed her feeding tube. I don't blame her one bit. Nobody likes to eat with their nose.

cds I listened to while feeling slightly sleepy: In Extremo "Sunder Ohne Zugel", Tom Lehrer "The Remains of Tom Lehrer" box set, and Tinsel "The Lead Shoes"

I have a customer on my route who hasn't been picking up his papers, so I've been building a paper house with them on his door mat, stacking them up like a house of cards. Tonight, I discovered that somebody had knocked over my creation. Bastards.

Willow is happy and energetic, often chuckling to herself as she plays. Today, as I left for work at the museum, she said, "bye bye." I love that. The other kids have all been trying our patience in various ways, although The Dickens has been sneaking back into the bedroom in the mornings to snuggle up under the blankets with me, like she was doing while Jen was in the hospital with Willow. It's cute enough that I don't mind being awakened before I'm quite ready.

I have to get up early(ish) to lead a tour at Hidden Villa, so I'll end here.

cds I listened to while being blinded by the moon: Aly Bain & Ale Moller "Fully Rigged", Sviraj "One to Remember", Baby Dee "s/t" ep, Landberk "Jag ar Tiden", Darkwell "Suspiria, and Rasputina "Cabin Fever"

Where's the Lorax when you need him?



See-through birds. What next?

I'm still feeling tired, even though I got enough sleep last night. I think I have a mild cold as well. There's nothing like hanging around a hospital and not getting enough sleep to help invite those nasty cold germs in for a party, during which they will probably eat up all of your food and step on the cat's tail. Ah well, it could be worse... It always could be worse.
I've been thinking about how vulnerable we become once we have kids. There are so many things that can go wrong - so many accidents and diseases and just plain bad luck. One of my co-workers at the paper route told me that this is the reason he has never wanted to get married or have kids. He doesn't know what he's missing though. Despite the potential emotional danger, it's very much worth it. I can't imagine life without my wife and kids, no matter how much the kids whine and scowl and fall mysteriously ill.

Over the week that I wasn't at the museum, the days have gotten longer. This means that I'm walking into the sunset as I leave work. By the time I'm in my car, the sun is behind the hills and orange-gold light plays along the crest. Later, the moon rises, full and encircled by mist. Life is beautiful despite, or maybe because of, the hardships we face. Don't forget it.

cds I listened to while enjoying life: Mia Doi Todd "The Ewe and the Eye", The Black "Golgotha", Candlemass "Nightfall", Pustit "Musis", and Yuri Yunakov Ensemble "New Colors in Bulgarian Wedding Music"

More pleasantry for the peasantry.

Willows bend in the wind, thus allowing them to survive storms that shatter more rigid trees. Willow doesn't know about the inherent strength of her given name, but it has served her well anyway. She is now home, along with Jen. We all ate pizza to celebrate, except for Willow, of course, because she is still mighty suspicious of food. This is why she has a hose in her nose that we have to attach to a bag full of vitamin enriched formula several times a day. This doesn't seem to bother her much. I think it would bug the hell out of me. At any rate, she is already gaining weight and showing a renewed interest in putting things in her mouth. This is a good sign. She also has lots of energy. It's as if she got a tune-up while in the hospital. We still have to take her for lots of follow-up appointments, but we'll deal with those as they come.

I went back to work at the museum today as well. During BioSITE, which took place at one of the participating schools, rather than down by the river, due to rain we dissected owl pellets. Our group found one of the biggest rat skulls I have ever seen inside an owl pellet. I also found a pelvis in such good shape that I could attach the ball joints of the leg bones to the sockets and make it walk around and dance. If nothing else, it was a good demonstration about how bones are connected and what kind of movement is possible. I think I have too much fun at my job. Pity it doesn't pay so well.

cds I listened to while being glad that our little girl is home again: Stina Nordenstam "This is Stina Nordenstam", Green Carnation "Light of Day, Day of Darkness", Black Tape For A Blue Girl "The Scavenger Bride", Keuhkot "Vasen Ja Oikea", Empress "s/t", Ain Soph "Rituals", and Pentagram "Anatolia"

Good lord I'm tired. I was so scattered today that I forgot to eat lunch and dinner, which is almost unheard of for me. I did manage to eat ice cream and cookies, and down a substantial amount of coffee, which is about as healthy as George Bush's conscience. I think I'd better go to bed before somebody wakes up screaming again.

Willow is wiggly, and is getting harder to satisfy with the stuff in her hospital room. Jen is getting stir crazy. The kids all miss her. I miss her.

cds I listened to through a mental fog: Tarnation "Mirador", Iva Bittova "Cikori", Pentagram "First Daze Here - the Vintage Collection", and Tin Hat Trio "Memory is an Elephant"

Jen just called me from the hospital, and Willow does not have cystic fibrosis! I'm relieved beyond words, since I was preparing myself for the worst. I think that's a pretty common defense mechanism in cases like this - hope for the best while preparing for the worst. She does have some sort of absorption problem (indicated by fat in her stool sample), which is what led the doctors to test for cystic fibrosis in the first place, so they still have to figure out what exactly the problem is.

More soon.

In just a few hours, after the sun comes up, we will find out if Willow has cystic fibrosis. Both Jen and I have spent a few days agonizing over this possibility, and we have come out the other end feeling a strange positive energy. The diagnosis is out of our hands. What we do afterwards is very much in our hands, and we plan to do the absolute best we can for our girl.

We're never quite sure what tomorrow brings, but we will meet it as best we can. For now, I must go and calm The Dickens, who WANTS HER MOMMY! loud enough to wake several neighborhoods.

The healing power of music: Bohren & der Club of Gore "Midnight Radio", Kathleen Yearwood "Ordeal", The Changelings "Orbit", Larsen "Rever", The Naysayer "Heaven, Hell, or Houston", Odetta "Lookin for A Home", and Aragorn "Noonday - The Anthology"

Willow is in the hospital with anemia, and they're trying to figure out why. I'll post more when we have some answers and we're less busy. I will say that she's in good spirits and doesn't act sick - it's pretty evident that this has been a long-term, gradual sort of problem. We discovered it only because a doctor pointed out that she looked a little pale, which led us to get her tested.

In a room in an apartment building on my route there is an alarm clock that has been beeping for at least five days now. The window is open, letting the sound float out into the night. I wonder if the inhabitants of this apartment are away on business, or perhaps on vacation. Perhaps they are all dead in bed, although after five days or more there would probably be an accompanying odor. Maybe somebody is just really sleepy, and can't seem to manage to get up for work. If this is the case, this unknown person has my sympathy. I have always hated alarm clocks, and wish we lived in a society where they weren't necessary. If you have to be awakened by one, then you haven't gotten enough sleep. I use mine less than most - only tuesday through friday. Even this leaves me tired by the weekend. I always have more energy on sunday night than any other night of the week, no doubt due to the fact that I can sleep in on saturday and sunday. As the week progresses, I get slower and slower. I am reminded of a headline I read the other day on the Yahoo news page. It was something like, "lack of sleep impairs creativity". No shit. Lack of sleep impairs everything. Why do they even have to do studies like this? That said, here I am typing away at 2:45 in the morning, and after I finish I'm going to go read, not sleep.

The moon was a smiling crescent tonight, and the forecasters promise rain later on this week. Hooray!

cds I listened to while being smiled at by the moon: Varttina "Iki", DD Synthesis "s/t", Sixteen Horsepower "Folklore", Amebix "Make Some Fucking Noise!", Circle "Alotus", and Songs: Ohia "Ghost Tropic"

Whose turn was it to take out the garbage this week? Or... whose turn was it to be the garbage this week? I think I've never quite gotten over my childhood tendency to try my best to upset people. Sorry.

Another week has blurred by. The weather has been cool and sunny for the last couple of days, and I find myself looking forward to the next rainstorm.

I've been juggling employment ideas around in my head again, since new rumors have surfaced about the possible demise of my nocturnal livelihood. The monolithic distribution system of the local paper has been gobbling up every other publication over the last year or two. There's no way I'd work for them though, since it would mean working seven days a week and delivering eighty seven different publications (okay, I pulled that number out of my hat, but you get the idea...). Our little group of carriers is pretty much the last holdout. It will be strange not working at night, if that indeed happens. I'm looking forward to being able to spend more time with Jen in the evenings, instead of having to leave just as she's getting the kids to sleep (although it's rare that all of them are asleep at once - I think they believe that somebody always has to be awake in order to stand guard against the possibility of silence). We'll see what happens, won't we?

cds I listened to while wondering what else I could be doing: Calexico "Feast of Wire", Urna "Hodood", Culper Ring "355", Bug Guts "Big Bowl of Warm Fur", and Low "Trust"

I want my mummy!

The papers were on time tonight. The truck was being unloaded as I arrived at work, which is nice because my work day was extended by the inclusion of a training meeting at the museum. It would be no fun extending it further by waiting around in the cold for hours like we had to do last night.
I barely had time to see Jen and the kids today. During the brief time I was here, The Dickens terrorized the boys in various ways, including but not limited to throwing things at their heads and pinching. She's a tough little girl, but she needs to learn some restraint so nobody gets seriously hurt.

Jen got to hang out with the neighbor today, who has a little one-year-old named Sophie (just like The Dickens). We usually see each other as we're coming and going, so it's nice that they got to spend some time just hanging out.

I'm gonna go read now.

cds I listened to while delivering papers in a more timely fashion: Mariza "Fado Curvo", Nurse With Wound "The Musty Odour of Pierced Rectums", Arvo Part/Philip Glass/Vladimir Martynov "Silencio", Stille Volk "Maudat", Calexico "Quattro", and Bee and Flower "What's Mine is Yours"

Two more story illustrations - a grim little vignette about incarceration, and an updating of the will-0-the-wisp legend.

I guess any day that starts off with the sad spectacle of a man nonchalantly pissing on the shoulder of a busy freeway during the morning commute has to end with the papers being three damn hours late. We all just sat around at work watching our breath float away in little puffs as our extremities grew numb from a combination of cold and inactivity. Oh well, I'm home now. Time for bed.

cds I listened to while thawing: Rondellus "Sabbatum", Alemu Aga (beguena) "The Harp of King David" (Ethiopiques 11), CMX "Aion", Calexico "Aerocalexico", Pharaoh Overlord "II", and In Gowan Ring "Hazel Steps Through A Weathered Home"

It's misting again tonight. One driver even decided to add to it by taking out a fire hydrant with the front end of his car. The resulting spray resembled Old Faithful, and no doubt could be seen quite clearly from the windows of the fire station across the street. I'm sure those on duty were more than a little upset by the abuse their hydrant had receieved. The police on scene also looked a bit put out, and made me detour around the whole mess.

cds I listened to while detouring: Throwing Muses "s/t", Silent Stream of Godless Elegy "Themes", Joseph Spence "Happy All The Time", and Voivod "s/t"

It's misting outside tonight, just enough to turn all of my windshield dust to a thin layer of mud, which my windshield wipers do their best to smear evenly across my field of vision. Oh, woe. Actually, I quite like the atmosphere created by this kind of weather...

The Dickens was quite active in creating havoc this weekend. We all went to one of the local chain bookstores (because there don't seem to be any local non-chain bookstores left) to pick up some books for the book exchange birthday party that the boys were going to the next day. For some reason, I ended up on the stairs with The Dickens. She didn't want to go upstairs. She didn't want to go downstairs. Okay, she did go upstairs just long enough to snatch an Elmo doll from a shelf. That poor Elmo was soon suffering the indignity of being repeatedly flung down the stairs, his furry little body bouncing off the risers and coming to rest on the landing, again and again. Every time I tried to redirect her attention elsewhere, The Dickens let out a high pitched shriek that probably set dogs to howling for blocks around. I wouldn't know, my ears were ringing. I finally put a stop to this nefarious muppet torture when it became apparent that The Dickens was intent on pushing the hapless doll through the railing and onto the heads of unsuspecting first floor patrons. She was extremely unhappy with me, and let everybody in the bookstore know it. You'd have thought I was attempting to abduct her the way she carried on.

The next day, at the aforementioned party, she was nicely playing with bubbles in the backyard when a bigger boy decided that it would be funny to roar at her through the glass of the sliding door. The Dickens, an old pro at this kind of behavior, roared back. The boy, not realizing who he was messing with, opened the door and tried to intimidate her by roaring in her face. The Dickens swiftly stuck the bubble wand in his eye, thus winning the contest. The boy retreated, tears and bubble solution running down his face.

cds I listened to while peering through mud: Paul Chain/Johar "Split", Ida Kelarova "My Home is Where I Am...", Legend "Still Screaming", and Kristin Hersh "Sunny Border Blue"

For some reason, the air smelled nice tonight, reminding me of childhood. The fog that I've been enjoying the last few nights has lifted, and is hovering high enough off the ground to gain the status of cloud. The smell of fog still lingers, and is mixed with the faint scent of blooming flowers. I'm not sure what kind of tree it is that blooms in January.

I go back to Hidden Villa in the morning, to lead a farm tour. Afterwards, I plan to take Lexy for a hike. Just the two of us, since I think that all of the kids need more one-on-one time. This is really hard to do with four small children who all cling to us like limpets along the waterline of a freighter. Maybe if Jen and I cloned ourselves so that each of the kids had an assigned parent. Yeah, right. They'd all fixate on one. Most likely Jen. She's just the sort of person that people like to be around. I know I do.

cds I listened to while breathing in the night: Current Ninety Three "A Little Menstrual Night Music" and "Hypnagogue", Nurse With Wound "Chance Meeting of a Defective Tape Machine and a Migraine", Backworld "The Orchids", Dead Raven Choir/Furisuba/Timothy the Revelator "s/t", Skyclad "Live at the Dynamo", and Pantaleimon "Change My World"

How not to quit your job:

Hmmm... There's an italian EBay. How many EBays are there? Does every country have one? For instance, is there a Kenyan EBay? I was good though. I didn't bid on anything.

The newspapers were two hours late tonight. Imagine showing up to work and not being able to actually work for two whole hours. That's one of the drawbacks of this job. When I finally got to work, a duck quacked at me. That's just insult to injury.

My route is growing a bit as well. I have gained about thirty customers in the space of a week. Most of these are probably freebies so that potential advertisers think lots of people are actually reading the paper. In fact, there are already newspapers piling up in front of some doorways. It makes me feel like I'm littering.

It's still foggy out too, but it seemed like all of the really dense stuff was perpetually hovering on the horizon, or retreating as I advanced.

cds I listened to while littering: The Does/Breathe Stone "Sleep Deprivation Blues/Crow Omens", Breathe Stone "Hex Thistle", Rainywood "s/t", John Murphy "28 Days Later" sndtrk, Myshkin "Why do all the Country Girls Leave?", and Annbjorg Lien "Aliens Alive"

Three more story illustrations:

A man looking for Kevin, since deceased:




A story inspired by a surreal statement on a magnetic poetry board:



Don't ask. It's bad enough that I wrote the story...

For Tuesday's BioSITE lesson, we took the kids out to do a bit of bird watching, and fortunately saw some interesting birds. There were some Cedar Waxwings in a tree above the river, which most of the kids in my group missed because they had trained their binoculars on a squirrel in an entirely different tree. They all saw the ducks - mallards and canvasbacks, and were much more impressed than you'd think anybody would be while observing ducks. The coolest thing we saw was a Cooper's Hawk, which was partially obscured by its nest high in a tree. A smaller bird, taking issue with the hawk, hounded it out of the tree and the minor avian drama continued elsewhere out of sight.

The fog was nowhere near as thick tonight as it was last night, which is a shame.

cds I listened to while wishing the fog would come back: Shinjuku Thief "Medea", Mecca Normal "Janis Zeppelin", Set Fire To Flames "Telegraphs in Negative/Mouths Trapped in Static", Frankie Sparo "Welcome Crummy Mystics", and Six Organs of Admittance "s/t"

You are being stalked.

The fog rolled in at about 1:00 am tonight, making boring old Silicon Valley appear a bit more interesting by obscuring just how mundane it really is. I love it when it gets so foggy that you can only see ten feet or so in front of the car. It should happen more often.

It was shortly thereafter that I discovered that my train of thought has at least one prescient passenger. I was thinking about the Tintin DVD box set I got for the boys, and how the voice actor who plays Captain Haddock on the movie sounds a bit like Tom Waits at his gargliest. I proceeded to sing a Tom Waits song (Clap Hands) in my best Captain Haddock voice - "Sane sane we're all insane...". Then the cd I was listening to ended, and I put in the next one, without looking to see what it was. Of course, the first song on it was a cover version of "Clap Hands", which I had forgotten was on the cd. Strange coincidence.

cds I listened to while wandering around in the fog: Patti Smith "Land" disc 2, The Gathering "Monsters", Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds "Nocturama", OP8 "Slush", and Eric Mcfadden "The Un-official Non-Japanese Import of the Not So Secret Northwest Club Shows"

All of a sudden it's monday morning again. Somebody pulled the weekend out from under us so quickly that we didn't even fall over. It's not that I live for the weekend, really. I don't mind any of my various obligations during the week - it's just that the weekend is pretty much the only time Jen and I can spend an extended amount of time together. And on sunday, when the three older kids are at their dad's, we can even have a conversation that lasts for more than half a minute. That's nice.

Time to go read.

cds I listened to while being stalked by monday: Kolrassa Krokridandi "Kold Eru Kvennarad", The Third and the Mortal "Memoirs", Unto Ashes "Empty Into White", and Patti Smith "Land" disc one

Beware of cat.

The moon was beautiful tonight, rising in a golden misty glow. We saw it as we escaped from most of the kids and went out to dinner. Dinner was good, with none of the usual fussing and grabbing. Of course, the last thing I did before we left home was mop up a puddle that The Dickens had made on the kitchen floor. She claimed it was poop, but fortunately it was not. Just pee. The funny thing is that after she does this sort of thing, she runs into the bathroom and wants to sit on the toilet. I think she has things a little out of order. Tonight, I found her outside the closed bathroom door asking, "now where did that toilet go?" Someday she will learn to ask this before she no longer has an immediate need for it. Someday.

Here's another picture:



cds I listened to while being happy that it's friday: Enteli "Live", Do Make Say Think "& Yet & Yet", Magga Stina "An Album", Elise Einarsdotter Ensemble w/ Lena Willemark "Senses", and V/A "Beyond the Realm of Death SS" - a tribute to Death SS

The moon is full. Full of what I'm not sure.

Speaking of full, we thought we'd try to entice Willow with some yummy baby pears. She had fun flailing about with the spoon, but as soon as the pears touched her mouth, her expression turned to one of dismay. You'd have thought we were trying to feed her dirty socks. I think we have tarnished her perfect little world forever. Perfect little worlds, evidently, do not contain baby pears.
The same thing happened when we tried to feed her a smidgeon of one of the melt-in-your-mouth maple candies that Jen got me for Christmas. Judging by her expression, we might as well have been trying to feed her something that we had gotten out of the back end of a dog.
Someday she will eat, but not today.

There were cops out tonight, but again they were distracted. This time they were trying to figure out how a little sports car had smashed through a fence and stopped partway up an embankment. What a puzzler. Better call the inspector.

cds I listened to while not being pulled over because police can't do two things at once: Finntroll "Visor Om Slutet", V/A "Phases: The Dark Side of Music", Ilgi "Agrie Gadi", and Hamlet Gonashvili "Hamlet"

This humble drawing marks the beginning of a project that will take quite some time. Over the last few years, I have written well over a hundred very short stories, mostly while at work. I have now decided to illustrate all of them. My esteemed colleagues at the OAC have also amassed a similar quantity of stories, and they are in the process of illustrating all of theirs as well. You'd think we had time for such frivolity!




Actually, this came about because now I don't have to waste time thinking about what to draw next.

It's cloudy and rainy again, which is good because rain makes the grass grow.

Jen discovered that Willow can stand up if she's holding on to something. She looks darn proud while she's doing it too. Soon she's going to be zipping all over the house and destroying all of the stuff that The Dickens has missed. We have too much stuff anyway. We keep finding things that we'd forgotten we have. And for some reason, once you've got stuff, it's really hard to just get rid of it. Of course it's even harder to get rid of stuff that you've forgotten about. First you have to remember it.

Okay, it's a slow news day around here, so I think I'll go read. 'night.

cds I listened to while being misted with moisture: Ani Difranco "Evolve" (funny that the last cd I listened to yesterday was called "primal"...), Bathory "Nordland II", V/A "Voggesanger fra Ondskapens Akse" (five lullabies from the axis of evil), Woven Hand "s/t", Carla Kihlstedt "2 Foot Yard", and Barbez "s/t"

How not to hold crayfish:

There are basically two kinds of cops. I had the good fortune to get pulled over by the good kind tonight - the kind who looks inside the car, sees the newspapers, and says, "oh, that explains it. Have a nice night... and oh, by the way, you have a brake light out."
The other kind, of course, is the guy who pulls you over, demands fifteen different types of identification, the names of all of your ancestors going back three generations, and a DNA sample. And after he gets all of this, he still acts like you're the most suspicious character he's ever come across and is probably wondering how you managed to ditch the guns and drugs while he was pulling you over.

I'm back at BioSITE tomorrow, so I'd better get to bed because I have to get up in a few hours.

cds I listened to while getting pulled over by the good cop: CMX "Puuveriaus" and "Melankolia", T.A.C. "Waiting for the Twilight", Epizod "The Time Has Come", and Holocaust "Primal"

I saw a perfect double rainbow while walking down the street to mail the rent on friday. I don't think I've ever seen one of those before. The light was beautiful too.

On saturday, we took all of the kids for a walk in the foothills. Predictably, The Dickens splashed in every puddle she could find. The boys were having a good time looking for animal tracks in the mud. We mostly found dog prints, but also evidence of deer. Due to the volume that the boys maintained while searching, we didn't actually see any deer, or anything else either. Willow surveyed the scene from her vantage point in the baby backpack on Jen's back, dressed in her little blue gnome outfit. All was well until we started back and it became apparent that The Dickens was distressed. She had gotten her feet and legs pretty wet, and we realized that since I had been carrying her for most of the walk, she must be pretty damn cold. I wrapped her inside my flannel shirt as best I could. Willow, who was likewise expending no energy of her own, was also getting pretty cold. It was late afternoon, so most of the trail was in shadow, which meant no place to sit in the sun. We marched back to the van, loaded the kids in, and hurried home. The Dickens didn't admit to being okay again until she was in a warm bath. Those sneaky darn puddles, ambushing unwary little girls who are in tennis shoes because none of their rain boots fit properly... Next time we'll dress the girls even more warmly, or make them carry us. But then I guess we'd be cold. Oh well, life is so tricky sometimes.

cds I listened to while realizing that the holidays are over because the tree is gone: Swans "Forever Burned", Tin Hat Trio "The Rodeo Eroded", Lhasa "La Llorona", and Jan Garbarek "Visible World"

Our New Year's plans didn't quite come to fruition. I ended up in the City with the usual crowd, but the show we wanted to see was sold out. This came as a bit of a surprise because the venue has never sold advance tickets before (as far as we know). Being friends with the band didn't help either, because their guest list was already full and the club was being very firm about the rules because a visit from the fire marshal was expected (although that might have been a line, because he was probably helping oversee the fireworks...)
So instead, we stayed outside for a bit, visiting with Dawn McCarthy, who informed us that it was the twelfth day of Yule, a day upon which oaths are traditionally made. Faced with the sudden need for oaths, we all thought quickly. The first thing that popped into my head was that I need a job that is full time, pays at least $15 an hour, and has health benefits attached to it. It also has to be something that I will enjoy doing. My oath is that I will have such a job before the year is out. M's oath was that he would also have a new job. G's oath was that he would help M find a new job. D wants to be out of debt. Dawn is swearing off white sugar. There's lots of other things I want to work my way towards as well. I want to take more care of myself and my loved ones. I want to be more organized. I want to draw and write more. I also want to be out of debt.
Then, with our oaths made, we drove to the far end of Golden Gate Park, near the beach, and wandered into the darkness beneath an old windmill that looms there. We got out little musical instruments and improvised for nearly an hour. Some other people walked into this section of the park towards the end, but were quickly scared off by the unexpected noises emanating from the shadows.
Then we went back to the venue where we were once more denied entrance. Behind and above us the fireworks exploded in the sky above the Bay Bridge. Drunken shouting surrounded us. For better or for worse, 2004 is here. Kind of arbitrary isn't it?

Tonight, I witnessed something that was sad. It may have a happy ending, but in real life we don't always get to stick around for the story to play out. As I delivered papers in the last apartment complex of the evening, I saw a couple walking disconsolately along. The woman dangled a cat toy from one hand. As I approached, the man asked me if I had seen a little cat anywhere nearby. I responded that I hadn't, but asked for a description and promised to keep an eye out.

I hope they find the cat.

cds I listened to while realizing that "oath" is a much stronger word than "resolution": G.I.S.M. "SoniCRIME TheRapy", DD Synthesis "Swinging Macedonia", and Strebers "Blod Svet & Tarar - 85 - 92"

Here's a New Year's Day photo from 1999/2000, far from civilization. Like I always say, we need more civility, but less civilization. Happy new year. Use it well.

This is my last post this year. Jen still has strep, which isn't fair because she just had it earlier this month. I think she must have gotten the strep with my name on it. I told her I'd take it from her if I could, but it just doesn't work that way.
The kids are their usual selves, which means that the house is trashed again and the kitchen floor is sticky. At least the new furniture is holding up okay. I'm very much enjoying sitting in comfy chairs in the living room. That's a good way to ring in the new year - sitting in a comfy chair. You know you're getting old when that sounds appealing. Actually, I'm going to be witnessing Sleepytime Gorilla Museum play in San Francisco, and then going and making noise somewhere in the time honored tradition of the OAC. Noise is good when you can control it. With these words, I leave you until next year.

cds I listened to while noticing that the light I broke a couple of nights ago has been fixed: Barbez "s/t", Agnes Buen Garnas "Draumkvedet", Nina Nastasia "Run to Ruin", Townes Van Zandt "A Gentle Evening with Townes Van Zandt", Lila Downs "Border", and Myshkin's Ruby Warblers "Rosebud Bullets"

The rain has come and (mostly) gone. While it was raining, I was at work facilitating an activity that involved rubber fish, paint, and tissue paper. The paint was smeared on the fish, and then the paper was pressed over it to create a fish print. While hordes of children were involved in doing this, I became aware that many of their parents were incapable of telling the difference between a rubber fish and a real fish. Whenever somebody asked if the fish were real, I replied that real fish would be much stinkier. Whenever a kid with long sleeves reached for the green paint, I played "Greensleeves" on my pennywhistle. Nobody got it. Maybe my rendition was too sloppy.

To bed, to bed.

cds I listened to while appreciating the glistening streets: Kristin Hersh "The Grotto", Townes Van Zandt "A Far Cry From Dead", Lila Downs "Tree of Life", Vig Mihaly "Filmzenek - Tarr Bela filmjeihez", and Sui Vesan "Sui"

The week between Christmas and New Year's Day always seems like it exists outside of time. Nothing much happens. People are on vacation, either physically or mentally, or both. We all talk about the things we would like to get done in January, but don't even entertain the thought of starting them now. We make lists perhaps, but don't actually reference them until after the start of the year. Being busy now would interrupt the death rattle of the old year. We can't have that. Let the year die with a little dignity, and hope that the replacement year will bring better things (although, I can't complain about this year - lots of good things happened).
I'm full of ideas for things I want to accomplish next year, and my procrastinating soul rejoices at the fact that I don't have to do anything until next week.

The last Sunday night/Monday morning of 2003 is cloudy and windy. Leaves skitter down streets, and occasional gusts of wind remind us to pay attention while driving, lest we get blown off course. Rain has been forecast, but is still percolating high above, with only a few drops making it to the ground. The Wall Street Journal is 38 pages, which is about the smallest it has been all year. The wind plays tricks with papers this small, sending them skyward as I throw them. One paper even broke something - a light, I think. Perhaps the customer will complain tomorrow. Perhaps not. Lights in apartment complexes often remain broken for weeks after I break them.

cds I listened to while seeing a lot of the papers I delivered Thursday night still sitting on walkways: Bohren & der Club of Gore "Black Earth", Ecke Yep "Tuva Ensemble", Vera Bila & Kale "Kale Kalore", V/A "Music From the Nonesuch Explorer Series - Africa" (Great horns! I'll have to find some...), and Lila Downs "La Sandunga"

How not to hold small snakes:

The Christmas chaos went well. The kids burrowed into the pile of presents, sending bits of wrapping paper in all directions and exclaiming with delight. Except for The Dickens, who had spent part of the night throwing up and was still feeling unwell as the day dawned. She was so tired that she laid her head down on a pile of presents and rested. Poor girl. She perked up later on though.

Most importantly, Willow and my dad finally met. Willow's stranger anxiety caused her to cry when he held her, but lately she's been crying when anybody besides Jen or myself holds her. She did smile at him from the safety of Jen's arms though.

Many presents were exchanged every which way. The litter of wrapping paper extends across several homes, and the piles of presents are everywhere. Who knows where we're going to put all of the new stuff. Maybe we can put it in the places vacated by all of the presents we gave.

I think I'll go have some of my new candy.

cds I listened to while grumbling about having to deliver papers that nobody is going to read: V/A "Amalia Rodrigues & the History of Fado", Epizod "The Bulgarian God", Paul Chain "Cosmic Wind", Eleni Karaindrou "Trojan Women", and Current Ninety Three "The Seahorse Rears to Oblivion"

Make sure that you shake the tree out really well before bringing it inside and hanging ornaments on it. You don't want this to happen.

This is to be my last entry before Christmas. This is a strange time of year. It's supposed to be a time of togetherness and reflection, but it seems mostly to be a time of consumption. The mall I pass on the way to work was absolutely packed, if the parking garages and lines of cars exiting were anything to go by. The blind rush to buy last minute, obligatory gifts for the people seems to me to be a far cry from the true meaning of the season, and I'm not a christian. (Of course, it's really a pagan holiday, but that's another story...) It's sad that every big holiday in this country has to come with a marketing strategy attached to it.

I'm not saying anything new here. Appreciate your loved ones. Let the yuletide sweep you away.

cds I listened to while throwing papers that most people won't read because they'll be at the malls all day: Lo Jo "Boheme de Cristal", Elend "Winds Devouring Men", Tellu "Suden Aika", and Silver Mountain "Breakin' Chains"

I read in the newspaper about this product called Java log (or Javalog, I forget...) which is essentially compressed coffee grounds and a couple of other ingredients. It burns cleaner than wood, and it's made out of something that people throw away every day (have you ever wondered what percentage of our landfills are coffee grounds?). The only problem is that it is something like $3.99 a log. Who the hell can afford four dollar logs? In order for a product like this to be truly effective in saving trees and reducing pollution, it has to be affordable for the masses.
Well, don't fear, Java Log may only provide heat for the elite, but researchers are even now searching for a more affordable alternative. In my opinion, it is right in front of their eyes. I can see the advertising campaign now: Tired of being left out in the cold? Think heat is only for the elite? Don't despair! Try new Old Sock Log! Made out of the compressed socks of the elite! Here at Old Sock Log headquarters, we steal from the rich to give glorious heat to the common folk. We'll all have a good laugh around the fire as the upper crust complain about their missing socks.

The Christmas counter ticks down. We cleaned and wrapped some more today. I'm glad I haven't gone to any malls. There are lines of cars waiting on the freeway off-ramps near them. I can't imagine having to wait in line to get to a mall. That's sort of like having to wait in line to get punched in the eye. It just doesn't make any sense.

cds I listened to while not waiting in line: The Gathering "Black Light District", Ilgi/Rainis "Speleju Dancoju", Klakki "Lemon River", and Pentagram "Sub-Basement"

I got the python a new water bowl as an early Christmas present, because I felt that he needed one he could actually fit in, should he feel the need to bathe. I even gave him an extra rat.

We spent the weekend preparing for the upcoming holiday in a variety of ways. Jen wrapped lots of presents. I wrapped one or two, but will wait until the last minute to do the rest because some of them haven't been bought yet. I am a firm believer in last minute panic. This is a good way to compress several months worth of labor into a single afternoon. Same amount of work, much less time spent doing it.

While delivering papers tonight, I didn't get pulled over. Instead, I listened to a security guard try to enlist me to sell legal insurance. Very dubious. It sounded like a pyramid scheme to me, but what do I know? I'm just the paperboy.

cds I listened to while trying to do my job in a timely manner: Sol Invictus "Thrones", Ilgi "Seju Veju", Keuhkot "Peruskivi Francon Betonia", Kari "Pilot >>>", and El Monte Aranos "Allied Cooking But Not As You Know It!"

It seems that the police activity I witnessed last night came about due to some sort of gun battle, which left several people wounded. I'm still wondering, considering that the crime scene was near the Evil Burger Restaurant, if it happened due to a disagreement over fast food. "Yo! Gimme dat last fry an' I won't shoot you in duh face!"
What the hell are people thinking? Don't they know that fast food is bad for you?

Tonight, evidently there were no gun battles because the cops were back doing what they do when nothing more interesting is taking place - pulling over the paper delivery people. This is the second time this week! There must be some new cops on the force. Their pink little faces just wrinkle with suspicion as I drive by, so they all come after me, pull me over, and stand around with their thumbs mining their colons as they take their sweet time realizing that I'm just doing my job. Maybe I should get an official hat or something.

Oh, and don't forget the amphibian on your list this holiday season.



Cds I listened to while trying to look as innocent as possible, but failing: Vig Mihaly "Ciganydalok", Paul Chain Experimental Information "Container 47", Nina Nastasia "The Blackened Air", Farlanders "Moments", and Kristeen Young "Meet Miss Young and Her All Boy Band"

There were fast food follies of some sort going on at the Big Evil Hamburger Place on my route tonight. The police had a large section of parking lot taped off, and everything was lit up bright as day. Maybe somebody choked to death on a hamburger. Maybe foul play was involved. On the bright side (pun probably intended) all of the police in the area were busy so I didn't have to worry about being pulled over for looking suspicious.
Above the scene, a misty half-moon ascended, seeming to trail vapor behind it.

I've been including "service request" forms in the newspapers for the last three nights. This allows customers to either rant at me for poor service or tip me for good service. I try to only give them to people who have received good service. This cuts down on the negative vibes, and gives me extra spending money for the holidays. So far I've gotten $35.

cds I listened to while inserting bits of paper inside larger bits of paper: V/A "Na Kosteti Do nebe", V/A "Music from Latvia", Noe Venable "Boots", Iva Bittova "Ne Nehledej", Volcano The Bear "Xvol", and Munadjat Yulchieva & Ensemble Shavkat Mirzaev "s/t"

It's strange what you find under the fungus.



And here's a picture of Nate (looking several years older than he actually is because I can't for the life of me draw while looking at a photograph) that I drew for him for his birthday. Happy birthday Nate!

As we wandered the river banks with our BioSITE kids today, the mid-morning quiet was interrupted by an old homeless man who shouted as he walked along the path by the river. The kids were a bit alarmed, and the more imaginative amongst them quickly decided that he had a gun.
It soon became apparent what he was up to. He was trailed by a number of expectant cats as he walked, like some sort of alternate reality pied piper. He stepped off the trail and put down some bowls of cat food. The cats squabbled as they vied for position. The man resumed his shouting, calling more felines to the feast. All along the river, cats could be seen. We noticed another cluster of cats on the other side, gathered around food that the man had put down earlier.
So, I guess the cats aren't quite feral. Hopefully the fact that they're being regularly fed means that they'll leave the wildlife alone, but knowing cats, I'm sure this won't be the case. It's just another example of how kindness to a few is in fact an unkindness to many.

Spay and neuter your pets, people.

Yesterday (or should I say yesternight?), the slow leak in one of my front tires became a fast leak, so I emptied a can of fix-a-flat into it and got back to work. The puncture must have been pretty big, because
while I worked, my spinning tire was painting the wheel well with liquid, chemical-smelling rubber, so that when I stopped to check on the tire, it was nearly flat again and smelled really nasty to boot. I put some more fix-a-flat in and found a gas station with a working air pump (harder than you'd expect). Today I bought a couple of new tires, because the old ones, in addition to being leaky, were nearly bald.
I know that somewhere, locked in a vault, there is a formula for tires that will last for the entire life of a car and beyond. I curse the whole concept of planned obsolescence.

Tonight, I got pulled over again because I look damn suspicious.

cds I listened to while sneaking around: Dead Raven Choir "Armoured Wolves", Ilgi "Kaza Kapa Debesis", Bittova & Fajt "s/t", Godspeed You! Black Emperor "Yanqui U.X.O.", and Shanghaied & Haunted "Pilgrim Beware"

I'm full of all sorts of ideas about how to change my various bad habits for the new year, most specifically my spending habits, but also lesser concerns like eating and organizing. I don't usually make resolutions at the start of the year, but it seems like a good time to do it after the excesses of the holidays. Of course, the fact that I've managed to max out one of my credit cards adds incentive to shape up. It would be nice to be out of debt some day. We can all dream.

Tomorrow is the last day of BioSITE for the year. There's supposed to be some sort of potluck. mmmm.

cds I listened to while contemplating not buying any more for awhile: Tarantula Hawk "Desert Solitaire", Antony and the Johnsons/Current 93 "Live at Saint Olave's Church", Faerd "s/t", Iva Bittova & Nederlands Blazers Ensemble "Dance of the Vampires", and Sergey Starostin's Vocal Family "Journey"

We went and got a Christmas tree on saturday, but not at one of the scenic tree farms where we usually go, because we're not sure if the van will make it. Nobody in their right minds would want to drive along a hilly freeway with very little shoulder space in a van that has proven its unreliability in such situations in the past, so we ended up at the neighborhood lot, consoling ourselves with the fact that all of their proceeds go to local charities. As we pulled into the parking place, The Dickens looked out the window and asked, "where da punkinpie?" "Punkinpie", as any good translater will tell you, means "pumpkin". The tree lot, like many similar lots, occupies the same corner of the parking lot that the pumpkin patch covered a couple of months ago. The Dickens was nonplussed at the sight of all of the trees sitting where the pumpkins ought to be.
Later, she sang Christmas songs to herself as we decorated. She had a great time until the ornaments ran out, at which point she threw a tantrum that culminated in her biting Jen. Oh, the fickleness of the two year-old.
It's nice to have the tree up. The smell of pine always reminds me of childhood, and how this month seemed to take forever. Now it flashes by so fast that our heads will still be spinning in February. It makes me wonder how fast time will go twenty or thirty years down the line.

cds I listened to while noticing more and more holiday lights, and wondering how many people will regret putting them up when they get their next electricity bill: Iva Bittova & Vladimir Vaclavek "Bile Inferno", Neko Case "Canadian Amp", Tarantula Hawk "Live at KFJC, 7/15/01", Ilgi "Saules Meita", Iva Bittova & Pavel Fajt "Svatba", and Hedningarna "1989 - 2003"

My car starts without suspense now. Of course, it wasn't the battery that was causing the trouble, because batteries are under $100, and subsection 5 of the Auto Repair Shop Rule Book states that "whatever trouble you think you have will in fact turn out to be a more expensive trouble." So now I have a new starter. At least I don't have to worry about being stuck somewhere.

I just noticed that there's an ant walking up my arm. Hold on... Okay, now it's on the floor somewhere. We need more spiders around here.

I thought up a new idea for an art project. First, you get fallen leaves and some scotch tape, and then you tape the leaves all over a car. I tried it out tonight, to see what it would look like. Since my time was limited, I couldn't cover the whole car, which is a shame. My co-worker was somewhat mystified when he walked out to his car and discovered the leaves.

cds I listened to while thinking up new kinds of art: The Angels of Light "We Were Alive!!!", M.Gira "Living '02", Jarboe "Dissected", and Dulce Pontes "O Primeiro Canto"

Slow December day.

The battery in my car is dying, so every time I turn the key in the ignition I'm on the edge of my seat with the suspense of it all. Will the car start? Will it just crank weakly and fail? Who knows? This isn't my favorite kind of suspense.

And damnit, I wish we would all get better. Last year during the holiday season there was enough sickness to last for several years worth of holidays. I can hear Jen coughing in the other room as I type this, and I don't like the fact that Willow is still all clogged up. And... more suspense - will Lexy get strep throat? Indeed, does he already have it? Urgh.

On the bright side, one of the spiders in the bathroom seems to have helped us with our ant problem, if the pile of spider poop under the web is anything to judge by. This may sound like pretty flimsy evidence. After all, the poop could be the remains of some other sort of unfortunate insect. I base my conclusions on the fact that I've never seen anything in the bathroom except ants and spiders. I don't think the spiders are eating each other, therefore they must be eating the ants. Good for them. I always thought it was really optimistic of them to make webs all over the bathroom, but this time it seems to have paid off.

cds I listened to while keeping the car running so I wouldn't have to jump start it: The Nels Cline Singers "Instrumentals", Timesbold "s/t", Steve Von Till "If I Should Fall to the Field", Devendra Banhart "Oh Me Oh My... The Way the Day Goes by the Sun is Setting Dogs are Dreaming Lovesongs of the Christmas Spirit", and M. Gira/D. Matz "What We Did"

Found it near work. Drew it at work.

I got treated to a thunderstorm tonight. I couldn't actually hear the thunder for some reason. Maybe it was too far away. Maybe my music was up too loud. Jen, at home, heard the thunder but didn't see the lightning. We're a perfect match, like two puzzle pieces.

I only had three kids in my BioSITE group today, missing the one who moved to Wisconsin and the one who hasn't turned his homework in for two weeks and was made to stay behind at school as a punishment. Our small group did more photo monitoring. We monitored pigeons, people, cats, egrets, crayfish (the photo in the last post is actually from a couple of months ago, but we took some similar ones today, which I may post at some point), squirrels, water, and plants. The kids all wanted to take pictures of the same things, so we ended up with lots of similar, haphazardly framed, blurry shots of angry crayfish and hunting egrets. I'm still figuring out how to monkey with the pictures on the computers at work, and will post things as I see fit.

Towards the end of the BioSITE day, the leaves started blowing off of the trees, and kept it up for most of the afternoon. Now, as I step out of my car in the driveway, I'm stepping into a pile of leaves. This is good. For me, there's not much that's more aesthetically pleasing than streets covered in leaves. It's even better if they're blowing around.

cds I listened to while getting rained on and not caring: Ring "Great Lonely Mood", Mediaeval Baebes "The Rose", Dorothy Carter "Lonesome Dove", Les Barker "Probably The Best Album Ever Made By Anybody In Our Street", The Mrs Ackroyd Band "Tubular Dogs", Edward Elgar "The Starlight Express suite and King Arthur Suite", and The Iditarod "The River Nektar"

I'm not sure exactly what atmospheric conditions are responsible for the illusion of a ring around the moon, but it sure looks impressive when it happens. I think a thin layer of mist is needed, and the moonlight has to hit it just right, but then again analysing things sometimes takes away their power, so I'll stop. I wonder what omens this type of event gave rise to in ancient times.

Tomorrow is BioSITE, which means not enough sleep. At least they caught the arsonists who lit the school on fire, and all of the kids are back on their own campus. Goodnight.

cds I listened to while staring at the moon: Hans Zimmer & Klaus Badelt "Invincible" soundtrack (Herzog's latest), David Maranha "Noe's Lullaby", Calla "Televise", and Empress "1996 - 1999"

We spent the weekend in various stages of illness. I got off pretty lightly with a bad cold, while Jen got nailed with a case of strep throat. We took Willow to see a doctor because she's been all stuffy and wheezy. Babies just aren't very good at clearing their throats of gunk. She was prescribed an inhaler just in case she has any difficulty breathing. We're hoping that we don't have to use it because the directions say that it has to be held in place over the nose and mouth for two minutes. I'm sure Willow would find this objectionable. While Willow was in seeing this doctor, I was outside with The Dickens, riding up and down in the elevator. The Dickens is now an expert at controlling elevators. After this, she threw a big fit in the waiting room because she didn't want to wait. She even called another small child a "bad baby". That's the foulest insult she knows, taught to her by Nate, and not limited to the young in its application.

Today I didn't get up until 2:00, and spent a good amount of time watching my new Alien DVD box set. Jen joined me. It is rare that we get to just sit on the couch and do nothing. It's a good thing that Willow doesn't let her nasty cough spoil her cheerful disposition. Otherwise we probably wouldn't have been able to get away with being couch potatoes for very long. Now if only we could get a comfortable couch. Ours has a metal bar running across it at lower back level, guaranteed to cripple even the fittest occupant.

cds I listened to while dripping at the nose: Iron & Wine "The Creek Drank the Cradle", Calexico "98-99 Road Map", Shinjuku Thief "The Witch Haven", Dar Williams "The Beauty of the Rain", and Baby Dee "Love's Small Song"

As promised, here's the armadillo. Apparently they jump straight up in the air when startled, which means that sometimes they're actually hitting the car, not the other way around. It's hard for any species, including humans, to adapt to roads. The authorities just clean the humans up more quickly. This poor armadillo was down the street from where we were staying for the whole week.



And here's the Dickens, presenting the face that she reserves for Texan relatives.

It didn't end up taking me much longer than usual to deliver two nights worth of newspapers. Maybe I should start doing this on a regular basis. Who wants to read the Wall St. Journal every day anyway?

At the museum today, just as we were talking about how none of the wall clocks are ever synchronized, the nearest clock fell off the wall, bounced off of a chair and stopped ticking. I found the battery beneath the chair and reinserted it, but the poor clock was even less synchronized than before. I wonder if we have poltergeists.

At home, we are all in various stages of sickness. There's this cough that just won't go away. Willow is goopy and snotty. Jen feels really miserable. The Dickens says her throat hurts. I think we'll lay as low as possible tomorrow.

Between the DVD box sets that Jen and my mom got me for my birthday, I have about 70 hours of viewing time awaiting me. It'll probably take me until my next birthday to watch them all. Happy. I'm also happy with the comfy new shirts that Jen's mom got me. She even threw in a chocolate euro! King sized! (probably to illustrate its new relation to the dollar).

cds I listened to that I would have listened to last night but didn't because of some sort of failure in the paper manufacturing process: Doc Wor Mirran "The Soundtrack of Death", Arkkon "Live - Torino - Italia, 27/02/02", Tara Jane O'neil "TKO", The Black Heart Procession "Amore del Tropico", Low "Canada", Mushroom's Patience "Roma, Wien", and Tarantula Hawk "s/t"

More scribbles.

Okay, the scanner seems to be working now. I poked at it a few times and it sprang back to life. Sometimes I stun even myself with my technical expertise.

Here's the picture that isn't The Dickens. Maybe this is what she'll look like in 20 or 30 years. Maybe not.

The Fates have conspired to give me the night off in honor of my birthday. I arrived at work only to learn that the printing press was experiencing "problems" and that nobody would know anything further until 1:00 am. Hearing this, and not wanting to sit around for hours, I got back in my car and drove home. This meant that Jen and I got to spend some extra time together! Yay! We occasionally talk about me getting a day job so we can share our evenings after the little ones are all in bed (not that they ever all stay asleep at the same time for very long). Tonight was sort of like a sneak preview. I like it. Later, I called my work to see if they had fixed the problem. It turns out that they had experienced some sort of power outage, and had managed to get a generator from somewhere, but there was still no E.T.A. on the papers. A subsequent call informed me that I needn't bother coming in because the papers probably wouldn't get there until 4:00 am. It's just as well. I wasn't looking forward to going back out again, even though the moon is beautiful and the night is crisp and foggy around the edges. Happy birthday to me. The only drawback to this is that I have to double deliver tomorrow night. If it were any other newspaper besides the Wall St. Journal, this wouldn't be too much of a hassle. The problem with the Journal is that each paper has an address label, which means that they have to be kept in order. Since I fold papers while I'm driving, I anticipate that I'll have an organizational nightmare on my hands tomorrow night as I juggle two days' worth of news. I must keep reminding myself that it's the challenges in life that keep us young.

Oh, here's a picture I drew while we were in Sherman. Lexy saw the picture I had drawn of Willow and insisted I draw one of him. It doesn't look like him to me, but he was satisfied with it and showed it to just about everybody. I had no illusions of being able to get Nathan or The Dickens to stand still long enough to draw them, but tried to draw The Dickens anyway (she asked me to). Of course, she only stood still for about two seconds. The rough sketch I had started looked more like an adult. I finished it today during a lull at work, and will post it once we fix the scanner (or buy a new one with our limitless funds).



cd I listened to while driving to and from work: Kemialliset Ystavat "Suurempi Pieni Palatsi"

The end of the year fast approaches. This time of year all attention becomes focused on the holidays. I got a holiday bonus from the museum today, but probably won't get one from my night job, due to the poor economy and miserable subscription numbers. I still have to do a bit of shopping, and knowing me, I'll probably still have shopping to do on the 24th. My volunteer job at Hidden Villa is over for the year, except for the potluck appreciation party coming up next week. I led my last tour of the season on the friday before we went to Texas, and caught a small Ringneck snake, who curled his tail angrily at us. It seems kind of late in the season to be catching snakes. I would think that most sensible reptiles would be laying low in wait for the warmth of spring.
Our BioSITE group visited some of our fire-displaced students in their temporary classroom at a nearby school today. We performed most of the same water tests we normally do, using water transported from the river. It's not quite the same as being there though. On the plus side, the school, which is new, is quite beautiful. It reminded me of an east coast school, with indoor corridors and interesting architecture. On of my fellow facilitators remarked that it looked like a school you would see in a movie. I hope the still-at-large arsonists leave it alone.

cds I listened to while thinking about the holidays: Doc Wor Mirran & Tesendalo "Not Recorded Remixed" and "Phire", Coil "Live Four", The Angels of Light "Everything is Good Here/Please Come Home", Doc Wor Mirran "Pseudo Me, Pseudo You", and Townes Van Zandt "Live at the Old Quarter, Houston, Texas"

I've been enjoying the rain for the last couple of days and nights. The streets are glistening, and the leaves are piling up in yellow drifts.

I have to get up early for BioSITE tomorrow. During the past week, somebody tried to burn down one of the schools where the kids we teach come from. They've been temporarily assigned to other nearby schools, and I think we're visiting one of them tomorrow. Why don't people ever burn down useless things, like Walmart stores or sports stadiums? Why pick on schools?

Oh well. Goodnight.

cds I listened to while sliding on wet leaves: Doc Wor Mirran "Elfengrund", "Momentum 1", "Jingfired", and "Landscape", Current 93 "Live at the Teatro Iberico, Lisbon, Portugal on Saturday 8 February, 2003", Howden - Wakeford "Wormwood", and Greg Weeks "Fire in the Arms of the Sun"

Escalators are fun. We didn't realize this at the time, so The Dickens broadcast her indignation for the whole airport to hear as we left the escalator behind and joined the line of people waiting at the security checkpoint. It is difficult to hold onto a flailing two year old while putting all of your personal belongings on a conveyor belt and submitting to various types of metal detector scrutiny.
Once we cleared security and found our gate, The Dickens calmed down enough to run over to the windows and watch the airplanes (or hairplanes, as she calls them). Outside, a crow watched us from its perch on top of the boarding ramp. So our journey began.

In Texas, I met so many of Jen's relatives that there wasn't much chance to get to know any of them too well. We were picked up at the airport by Jen's cousin Michelle, who can be forgiven for driving an SUV because she lives on a ranch. As we drove through Dallas, I noticed that the competition among boot stores was fierce. Somebody had opened a store called "Boot City" right next to a store named "Boot Town". We left the big city behind and ended up in a more country-ish part of the state, a town named Sherman. Our room at the ranch faced east and there were no curtains on the window. The view was beautiful. At night the horizon was lit up by a band of twinkling building lights. The mornings, which ranged from overcast and foggy to clear, were also beautiful, although on the clear days the sun slapped us awake. As we slept, we were well guarded by a pair of vegetarian dogs. The yard surrounding the house was littered with the remains of their meals - half eaten pears from the tree on the north side of the house.
The boys promptly attacked the air mattress, jumping up and down on it until it sprung a leak. It lowered them gently to the ground overnight. This was the beginning of the trail of destruction they left. Soon, a light fixture, a marble chess board, a plush ball, and a frisbee were added to the list of things that would have to be thrown out.
Most of the relatives were from Jen's dad's side of the family, and we spent most of the time at her paternal grandparent's place eating food cooked by an ever changing assortment of people. The Dickens discovered the delights of rolling pecans down the long, curved driveway. Lexy discovered the delights of chess (which eventually led to the above mentioned chess board destruction), and Nate decided that he didn't like being away from home and spent the majority of the time scowling (except at night, when it turned into whining). Willow got passed around to all of the relatives and wasn't too happy about it.
I really enjoyed getting a chance to see some of the places that Jen had spent her childhood, and meeting the people she had spent it with. This gave me a chance to put faces to a lot of the people I previously had known only through her descriptions and stories. Everybody was really nice, especially her grandparents.
We spent about a day and a half with her maternal grandmother, who has an immaculate house, so of course we spent a lot of time trying to stay one step ahead of the kids. We mostly succeeded, except for the light fixture. I took the three older ones for a walk down the hill to lake Texoma, and we explored a bit before going back. The Dickens wanted to bring back some animal poo we found on the road so she could properly flush it. How thoughtful of her.
Thanksgiving came and went, leaving us satisfyingly stuffed and surrounded by even more people than on previous days. Some other kids had finally arrived (all teenaged or nearly so), which meant that the boys and The Dickens had new people to play with. This gave us a bit of a break.
During the week, in addition to driving an SUV with either Lynard Skynard (requested by The Dickens, and spelled wrong too, I'm sure...) or country music on the stereo, we saw lots of cows, oil wells, a stop sign peppered with bullet holes, and an upside down armadillo (photo soon). How stereotypical.
All of a sudden it was time to go home. The flight back was longer, and The Dickens was mad. When she tired of kicking the seat in front of her, she crawled from one end of the plane to the other. Several times. On the plus side, while I was leaning over her holding her feet so the passenger in front of her wouldn't kill us, I looked out the window and saw the Grand Canyon bathed in the orange glow of the sinking sun. Long shadows stretched eastward.
After we landed, while we waited for the luggage to emerge, I went up and down the escalators with The Dickens, noticing that several other people were doing the similar things with their children. She had a great time, but threw just as big a fit as she had on the journey out when we had to go.
Now it's all sinking into that strange unreality of all vacations as the reality of the daily routine reemerges and takes over. That's why we take photos and write about it. I've left lots of things out, but I'm in the middle of a good book, so perhaps another time I'll write more.

The first cds I listened to after getting back: The Iditarod "The Ghost, The Elf, The Cat and the Angel", Cowboy Junkies "Black Eyed Man", Pinetop Seven "No Breath in the Bellows", Sam Shalabi "On Hashish", Jessica Radcliffe, Lisa Ekstrom, Martin Simpson "Beautiful Darkness"