I found a Ringneck snake at Hidden Villa today, but it slipped through my fingers and vanished into the woodpile. They're so small and quick that if you miss them on the first try you had better just give up. I remember once as a child putting a pet Ringneck snake down on a lawn and actually losing it after it wriggled down into the sod. Such is life. I did catch a Jerusalem cricket, a California newt, and a Slender salamander though.

If I was superstitious, I would have been bothered by the black cat who seemed to be waiting for me to drive closer before dashing in front of me. In my rearview mirror I saw him do a frantic, tail-spinning arc on the lawn fronting a business complex and dash back across the road to his original starting point. Perhaps he was just having fun. Maybe there were other cats waiting somewhere out of sight egging him on - "betcha can't run right in front of a car. What are ya? Chicken? buckbuckbuck..."

Willow is now nearly eight pounds.

cds I listened to while slowing for cats: Venom "Cast in Stone" and "In Memorium", Sigillum S "Heteromorphonicks", Backworld "The Orchids/Flowers in Flame", Iugula-Thor "Forced Flesh", and Six Organs of Admittance "Dust and Chimes"

The Dickens has given herself some brand new varicose veins using nothing but a pen and a little imagination. It is warm outside, and the various pollens are either spotting our windshields or making members of our family sniffly and reddish. Despite this, it is nice to sit outside under our backyard trees in the evenings.

This weekend we pretended we had money and went traipsing about in a large group, wantonly spending along the way. Friday we all ended up at R's mom's house in honor of R's 33rd birthday. It was a small gathering mostly consisting of relatives. Nate and Lexy honed in on Steve, who is visiting the area from Ireland. They wrestled and rolled around on the floor while I kept The Dickens occupied. There was pizza, cake, and Brainwash, which dyes your insides blue.

Saturday a bunch of us went to the Monterey Bay Aquarium. Nate wandered off and got lost almost immediately, but had the presence of mind to find an aquarium employee and have us paged. During our visit, we got to see a diver give an otter some "negative reinforcement training". This consisted of blowing a whistle and spraying water at the befuddled creature, and then, as it turned to get the hell out of there, bestowing upon it a (as R. put it) "big nasty mammal spank" The idea is to get the otters to keep away from divers, because not all divers have the otters' best interest at heart.
Later, at dinner in a nearby restaurant, Steve flipped over Lexy's menu (which featured drawings of fish for kids to color) and drew a large Angler fish which put the ones on the other side to shame. He instructed Lexy to color it in, which Lexy proceeded to do quite nicely. A short time later, The Dickens knocked a glass of water over and ruined it, dashing Lexy's chances of ever being able to sell it on ebay.
Then, after some mandatory fudge, we all went back to our place and had a slumber party. I slept on the top bunk in the kids' room. Jen and all of the kids slept on the bottom bunk. Steve slept in our bed. M. slept on the couch. G. and Dawn slept on the floor. We all got up too early the next morning and Jen made a big batch of eggs and toast. After a bit of hanging out and a quick trip to the record store, we went to the Winchester Mystery House. What a lovely place. I hadn't been there since I was a kid, and found myself appreciating it much more as an adult. I wish it was possible to walk around inside without having to follow an obnoxious tour guide. Oh well.

cds I listened to while for the first time this year not wearing a jacket: Trouble "Manic Frustration" and "Plastic Green Head", Unholy "Gracefallen", Sigillum S "Dispersion: Sliced Carrions and Pixel Handcuffs" and "Live Assault", and Nurse With Wound "Chance Meeting of a Defective Tape Machine and Migraine" (this one is M.'s fault)

I got home three hours late due to mechanical difficulties with the printing press. While waiting around for the papers to arrive I reflected on how I really hate depending on other people or machines for anything. I'd really like a job that is not part of a chain of events with weak links somewhere in the middle.

When I finally got going I had to drive slowly to avoid the gangs of ducks who have taken to hanging out along my route. They're so tough that they just waddle slowly out of my way, refusing to fly for any reason.

I also saw a lone shooting star.

Tomorrow I'll write about my weekend. Maybe - if the damn papers aren't so late again.

cds I listened to while keeping one eye out for waterfowl: Trouble "s/t", Sigillum S "Cybertantrick Quantum Leaps" and "Bedscanner Philosophy: An Updated Boudoir Mode", Jello Biafra "If Evolution is Outlawed, Only Outlaws Will Evolve", and Current Ninety Three "A Little Menstrual Night Music",

Okay, why is the computer not letting me open my own page? It thinks I'm downloading a file when I try to do it. Let's try again...

As I left for work tonight, the police were searching for someone. Up beyond the police helicopter was the moon, looking like somebody with really large, dirty fingers had smudged it irrepairably. It was, of course, an eclipse. As I drove to work, the untainted white sliver grew, forcing the brownish shadow back. By the time I started delivering papers, the moon was round and white, and some different police were looking for someone. A little while later, I got pulled over. After noting that my car was full of yet-to-be-delivered newspapers, the policeman let me go.

A sure sign that the economy is in bad shape: One of my co-workers, who used to boast about how well he was doing in the stock market, now uses duct tape to hold his tires together. He just sticks it on over the exposed steel tread. Apparently it works too. If the manufacturers of duct tape knew this, they'd probably have him do a product endorsement. Then he could go buy new tires with the money they gave him. It would be a win-win situation. Maybe he should get on the phone and let the world know about his desperate duct tape usage.

cds I listened to while watching the moon come back: Sigillum S "Helix Parasites", "Atom!", and "Malattia", Tristania "s/t" and "Angina", and Ashes "Ashland"

Well, I finally did it. I finally threw away the Christmas tree. It was looking sad and brown as it lay in the corner by the gate, with an equally brown wreath balanced on top. Speaking of brown, that was also the color of the water that we emptied out of our new steam cleaner after we cleaned the front room. A lot of the stains are still there, but they are noticably fainter. I'm sure The Dickens will have them back to their original color before long.

I even managed to clean the back patio without the mother hummingbird getting upset. I'd been putting it off because the last time I went out there she popped out of her nest and hovered in my face until I went back inside. How's that for an excuse not to sweep...

The moon is nearly full, and sits above our house like a pearl formed in the belly of a cloud. Uh oh... that was almost poetry. Time for bed.

cds I listened to while being shone upon: Sieben "Forbid the Sun's Escape", Sigillum S "Abstraction" and "Bardo Thos-Grol", Rube Waddell "Bound for the Gates of Hell", Tristania "Beyond the Veil", and Roy Harper "Unhinged"

I've heard people mangle the english language many times over the years, but here's one I've never heard before... A co-worker was talking about a band he had seen while in Reno, and he related to the rest of us that the band had "badgered" several songs rather badly. I'm guessing that he meant to say "butchered". I hope he doesn't ever use "butchered" in place of "badgered". I can see it now - "I'm going to butcher you until I get that raise." Ouch!

I'm taking the next couple of days off from the museum, ostensibly to spend time with our friends from overseas. I may indeed do this, but then again I may just use the time to help get the house in shape for company. Or maybe I'll just use it to sleep. It looks like it's going to be a busy weekend.

cds I listened to while thinking about sleeping: Zmrzlina "s/t", Rube Waddell "Stink Bait" and "Hobo Train", Darrin Verhagen "Hydra", Shub Niggurath "s/t" and "Les Morts Vont Vite", and Woven Hand "Blush Music"

It finally feels like may outside. It reminds me that I don't really like hot weather. I've always preferred darkness and fog... and damp. Maybe we should move to Seattle. We're going to head in that direction the weekend after next to go to the Nurse With Wound record release party in Portland. Of course, we're also going to Powell's bookstore, which is so big that you sometimes need a map to find your way around.

Tomorrow is a Hidden Villa day, so I'm going to bed now.

cds I listened to while being warmish: Dead Raven Choir/Furisubi/Timothy the Revelator "s/t", Tarentel "Mort aux Vaches", Shinjuku Thief "The Witch Hunter" and "The Witch Hammer", and "Oh God! Mother Blood!" - Vaccination records compilation

Well, Willow got to go to her first concert on saturday. She arrived at the Great American Music Hall accompanied by her mother, father, and paternal grandmother (who was there in honor of Mother's day). She elected to sit up on the balcony, and after a bit of fussing, settled down for the main event. The music started with some soft piano and sweet singing. Later, guitar and cello appeared, fleshing out the sound. Raucous applause ushered in the encore, which ended with a manic version of that old folk favorite, "Oh coal black smith".
After the lights came up, Willow descended and mingled with the crowd. She was introduced to people from exotic places like Singapore, Portugal, Ireland, England, and Indiana. She met a guy who drives trains. She met some of her dad's old friends. She met some minstrels. She got to go backstage and hang out. Later, outside, she got to witness the sad spectacle of a drunken clown falling down in the gutter. One of the minstrels sagely noted that, "these things happen." Nobody knew why a clown had attended the show. Maybe he had gotten lost on the way to the circus. Maybe he knew something we didn't.
But Willow won't remember the clown. She won't remember the show, or the other people she saw. All that was important to her was that she was being held by her mother. Perhaps she also took comfort in the fact that her father was nearby. She probably wasn't aware of her grandmother being there. That's a bit far for a small baby to extrapolate. I was aware though. Three generations were represented. Happy mother's day to Jen and both of our moms (I guess since I'm typing this on monday morning that this is belated, but such is life).

Today, we aired out our mattresses by strapping them to the top of the van and driving them all over the Bay Area. Now they're at G.'s where the process can be reversed. Hopefully they're coming in handy.

cds I listened to while eating wasabi peas: Rawk Party - Vaccination Records compilation, Sigur Ros "Rimur", Carla Kihlstedt "Heavy Oven", 7% Solution "Gabriel's Waltz", and Sharkbait "Blowtorch Face-lift"

Oh no! My postcard has grown horribly large and is threatening to take over everything! Alas, alas. Have pity on the poor luddite.

Willow may go to her first concert this weekend. It's going to be a sit-down affair, with no excessive loudness. Just piano, guitar, and voice. Simple is always best, I say. The only problem is that the club doesn't allow children under six. We're going to try though, because if Willow can't go then Jen can't go either. It helps that we're on the guest list. But will it help enough? Stay tuned...

I almost ran over a rat earlier tonight. Why are rodents always so single-minded about crossing the street?



cds I listened to while avoiding scurrying rodents: Stone Breath "Green Shrouds For Dead Gods/Green Swaddling for Gods Reborn", Saint Just "La Casa del Lago", Joseph Spence "Happy All the Time" (minstrel approved!), Sanctum "Lupus in Fabula", Tiamat "Skeleton Skeletron", Paul Schutze "Deus ex Machina", and 7% Solution "All About Satellites and Spaceships"

It's cold and windy outside, but the promised rain hasn't fallen. I saw one pretty impressive lightning flash which seemed to come from near the coast. Moments later I saw a police chase, which seemed to be heading away from the coast.

I took the Water Monitor to the museum garden today, and he had a great time digging holes and sunning himself. He showed special interest in a lady who later admitted she'd recently eaten a turkey and salami sandwich. I moved him away from temptation. I still remember the day when he showed the same sort of interest in a volunteer's chin. There wasn't a lot of blood when he decided to see if the chin tasted as good as it apparently smelled, but even a little blood is too much. Now I know enough to nip (so to speak) this kind of thing in the bud.
One little boy spent a lot of time following him around, informing me roughly every ten minutes that he was pretending the Monitor was his pet. Several other kids also showed an almost obsessive interest in him.
When things slowed down a bit, I lay down in the dirt next to him as he sunned himself. The day was mostly sunny but not too warm. It felt good to just relax among the plants. The only thing that would have made it better would have been a nice cup of coffee, which I, for some reason, had a sudden desire for.

Now it is time to sleep, or perhaps surf the web.

cds I listened to while being illuminated by distant lightning: Risaedlan (Reptile) "Efta!", Ronan Quays "The Ebbing Wings of Wisdom", Rosebud "Thundermug Honeypot", Culper Ring "355", Bug Guts "Great Spangled Fritillary", Tiamat "Cold Seed", and Night Soil Man "Chief Left His Settlement (in the) Garden of Delights"

And hey!! Look at all of that blank, white space at the bottom. I sure know what I'm doing...

I caught an Alligator lizard and a California newt at Hidden Villa today. Of special note is the fact that the lizard's tail had never been broken. It was without blemish, and prehensile enough to wrap around my fingers and hold on. He did have a few ticks though. That fascinated the kids, and made them a little nervous. Perhaps they thought that the ticks would set their sites on bigger prey if given half a chance. Everybody knows that people have much more blood than some scrawny little lizard.

At home there was the usual jumping up and down and general chaos. Jen and I stole a moment for some kissing while the kids were getting out of the bath. This earned us a stinkface from The Dickens, who obviously has her own ideas about how adults should comport themselves.

Ah well, time for sleep. It's overcast outside, and is supposed to rain at some point this week. There were a couple of brief showers today. Rain in May!

cds I listened to while waiting for raindrops: Noe Venable "No Curses Here" and "Down Easy", The Revolutionary Army of the Infant Jesus "Paradis", Tiamat "A Deeper Kind of Slumber" and "Gaia", Finntroll "Visor om Slutet", Reptile "Fame and Fossils", and Opeth "Damnation"

now: Current 93 "When the May Rain Comes"

Jen went and got a cavity filled today, leaving me home with the three younger kids. Willow used my arm as a bed, pressing her cheek up against the crook of my elbow and occasionally sending a stream of spit-up down my arm and pants. The Dickens smiled and laughed and then tantrumed about not getting a ride in the wicker basket. Nathan spent most of his time using the couch as a trampoline. I swear somebody is secretly feeding that boy some powerful stimulants. He never stops. When Jen came home the local anesthetic hadn't worn off yet and she couldn't feel one of her eyes. Despite this, we bundled all of the kids out the door and went around the corner to mail some bills and get some food. I got grumpy when I discovered that the little mailing center by our house doesn't send things via registered mail. Jen took everybody but The Dickens into Safeway, so I supervised her while she tore up the landscaping and deposited it in the fountain. Flowers look kind of nice floating in the water. I had to replant one hapless bit of greenery that wouldn't relinquish its flowers when The Dickens tugged on it. Then we came home, ate some wonderful soup concocted by Jen, and watched Gamera. The Dickens amused herself by turning off the TV every couple of minutes.

cds I listened to while appreciating Jen for being able to take care of four kids at once: V/A - Drinking From Puddles: A Radio History, The Revolutionary Army of the Infant Jesus "The Gift of Tears/Mirror", Tribes of Neurot "60 degrees", and Negativland/Chumbawamba "The ABCs of Anarchism"


.

Friday...

As predicted, it was raining when we all converged on the airport to greet the minstrels. Then they got treated to the double-your-fun combination of heavy rain and heavy traffic as we crawled towards the center of San Francisco in our family mini-vans. We made up for this dubious beginning by taking them out to dinner at a nice Mediterranean restaurant. What fine food! Then we dropped most of the minstrels back at the hotel so they could try to regain the nine hours they lost by flying so far to the west. We took the one remaining minstrel to Berkeley and G.'s apartment. M. and I struggled to muffle our cries of amazement at the state of the apartment. It was... clean! Even the stains on the carpet were gone.

Saturday...

We went to Aquarius Records to show everybody M.'s art, which still graces the walls of the store. Everybody ooohed and aaaahed. Then we ate at a mexican restaurant. At least one of our visitors had never had a burrito before. Then, after paying the homeless parking attendant, we stuffed ourselves into the mini-van and drove up to Haight street. In a record store there, an employee recognized a minstrel or two and almost filled his shorts with glee. He was overheard to say that in his eight years of employ at this particular shop that this was his greatest day. Even greater, apparently, than the day that Michael Jackson stopped by and wiped his sweaty hands on some tissues that were still carefully archived somewhere in the shop. We left as soon as we could, and spent some more time meandering about. One of the minstrels sang beautifully as we walked along.
It's really interesting to see a familiar city through a first-time visitor's eyes. It makes everything fresh again.
Later, we drove back to Berkeley again with a couple of the minstrels so that we could see Two Foot Yard perform at 21 Grand in Oakland. While waiting for them to go on, we wandered through a nearby asian market and gawked at the dried squid and live sea cucumbers. We bought some stuff that sure tasted strange. The rice punch drink I purchased was okay until I got to the solid bits, which texturally resembled sodden newspaper. The toasted melon seeds, however, were quite good. Back at the performance space, Two Foot Yard did very satisfying things to their cello and violin. Come to think of it, we once surprised Carla, the violinist, in London while she was playing with a different band (we nonchalantly approached her between sets and complimented her on the show, as if we weren't half a world away from home) while in the company of a man who also occasionally plays live with the same band as the people we were currently with. Is that confusing enough? Everybody liked the show. Then and now.

Sunday...

I stayed home with Jen and the horde. Sometime during the morning hours the older members of the horde discovered our sugar supply and gorged themselves upon it, making them hyper and cranky. This, in turn, made us cranky. We all stomped around being cranky together. During this time, we made some gingerbread cookies. Somewhat later, The Dickens discovered the food coloring that had been used to color the gingerbread frosting. She artfully decorated herself, the kids' table, the floor, and a doll. Then everybody had a bath.
The boys and I almost watched the newest Gamera movie, but just as we started, The Dickens announced that she was, "scawed of the RAAAgghh" (translation: I'm scared of the giant turtle because I'm too young to realize that it's just a guy in a rubber suit). We ended up watching Little Bear instead.

cds I listened to while wondering where the hell the weekend went: Roy Harper "Garden of Uranium/Descendants of Smith", The Naysayer "Deathwhisker", Tribes of Neurot "Silver Blood Transmission", Monster Records promotional sampler, The Sonora Pine "s/t", and Tiamat "Wildhoney"

now: Maja Elliott "Truth"

The things you can do with a little spare time...

I made it through the night without being rained on, but the clouds are moving in and the wind is picking up. This is all happening just in time for the arrival of some minstrels from overseas. Their lovely british weather seems to have preceded them, and will no doubt be waiting to welcome them with torrential rain. So much for sunny California. I have to get up early(ish) to go to the airport, where I will be meeting up with G., M., and R. Then we will greet the minstrels and whisk them away to their temporary lodgings, so that they may plot and plan long into the night. The fruits of this plotting and planning will be ready for consumption next week. Should be fun.

An additional word of explanation for the picture below: We have an activity at the museum where kids get to make their own postcards. While I'm facilitating this activity, I draw my own, ostensibly to use as examples, but really because I just like drawing. I have a stack of them now. Most of them are unpleasant in some way.

cds I listened to while anticipating minstrels: Therion "Deggial", Tara Jane ONeil "Peregrine", Tiamat "The Astral Sleep" and "Clouds", Retsin "Egg Fusion", and Legend "Still Screaming"

First in series of postcards from places you wouldn't want to visit.

I upgraded to blogspot plus, so there will soon be pictures here. The possibilities are endless. To go off on a tangent - one of my co-workers couldn't make it in to work tonight because the cops weren't letting anybody out of his apartment complex. It seems there was a guy with a shotgun holding hostages. It may be still going on for all I know. I think I'm going to go hide from reality and read now because I've gotten all sorts of books in the mail lately and I want to read them all. Escapism.

cds I listened to while escaping: Therion "Crowning of Atlantis", Rasputina "How We Quit the Forest" and "The Olde Headboard", Swans "Forever Burned", Reptilicus "Temperature of Blood", Reptilicus and The Hafler Trio "Designer Time", Retsin "Salt Lick", and In Gowan Ring "Exists and Entrances vol.3"

Long day...

At Hidden Villa, I led a tour in the pouring rain. The treefrog who lives in the bathtub pond was singing up a storm, but every time I bent down to try and find him the runoff from the roof of the barn drenched me. Moments later it didn't matter, because I found a different treefrog. I also noticed something duck under the water really quickly as we approached the rectangular pond. The surface is obscured by duckweed, but I'd bet anything that what I almost saw was the turtle. Apparently he took exception to being placed in the small pond on saturday, and has relocated himself. Later still, I caught a big fat California newt. The kids and parents loved it. My socks were wet for the rest of the day.

At the museum, I finally managed to get the big taiko drum out of the basement. Then, along with the usual assortment of other instruments, we made music. I discovered that I could play the taiko drum and my nose flute simultaneously, and I made up a cheerful song. Some people were entertained. One little boy, less than two years old, kept running up and grinning at me like I was the best thing since chocolate milk. Most of the adults seemed to have fun too. You'd think people would be annoyed by the combination of nose flute and taiko drum. Maybe some were. Who knows? If they don't let me know, I will not stop!!!
Then there was a boring meeting. The dinner consisted of lots of choices for the carnivores and only one choice for the vegetarians. The choice contained heaps of mushrooms. I really don't care for mushrooms much. I'm a vegetarian, not a fungetarian, dammit! Ooops. I'm complaining about free food. How ungrateful of me.

At the paper route, a co-worker smeared my jacket with one of those free perfume samples that come in magazines. I smelled "pretty" for the rest of the night. Of course, lest you think I work with psychos, this action on the part of my co-worker wasn't entirely unprovoked. Earlier, I had gotten him to fall for the "defective rubber band" trick. I cut a bunch of notches in a rubber band, so that it would snap when stretched, and then tossed it to my co-worker. Then I shot him with a good rubber band. When he tried to retaliate, using the rubber band I'd thrown to him a moment before, it snapped in his hands. Ha ha. Bored paper boys. Run.

cds I listened to while wishing I didn't smell so funny: Raksha Mancham "Ghazels" and "sBas Yul", Tribes of Neurot and Walking Time Bombs "Static Migration", Molasses "A Slow Messe", and Rasputina "Thanks for the Ether"

Last night it poured for several hours. Tonight it didn't really rain - a few drops hit my windshield, but that's all. I notice in the paper that a couple of our reservoirs are above capacity, but most are below. So go ahead, rain. I like rain better than hot weather anyway. That said, the one time I don't like it to rain is when I'm out delivering papers.

Willow went for a "well baby" checkup today, and now weighs in at 6 pounds, 12 ounces. She still has a cold, but other than that, is "well". The Dickens, while all of this was happening, snatched far more than her share of lollipops from the container near the appointment desk. The majority of these ended up on the floor. By the time we left, her face was multicolored and her hair was sticking to it.

I've got to get up early to go lead tours at Hidden Villa, so that's it for tonight. Maybe the turtle is still in the same pond.

cds I listened to while counting raindrops: Set Fire to Flames "Telegraphs in Negative/Mouths Trapped in Static", Therion "Vovin", Tarentel "The Order of Things", Trance Mission "A Day Out of Time", and Sixteen Horsepower "Folklore"

Friday...

One of the teachers at Lexy's school wanted me to show her how to handle her classroom's new Tarantula, and while I was showing her, I noticed that she had some Walking Sticks in another cage. One thing led to another, and now we have six Walking Sticks living at our house. They grow quite big too.
Later, I helped G. lug a huge, splintery shelving unit up to his third floor apartment, and then helped him fill it with the contents of his floor. Then we picked splinters out of our hands. It's a good thing neither of us lost our grip on the way up because that damn thing could have killed us.

Saturday...

We took the horde to Hidden Villa's Earth Day celebration. The kids danced around the maypole, and The Dickens danced in every puddle on the farm, splashing happily through the mud. Somebody found a turtle in the creek, and I (after showing it around a bit) ended up letting it go in one of the ponds, but not before it had peed on me several times. Garth, with his hat of lichen and his cool seaweed horn, explained how one can safely eat Stinging Nettles. We went home and I steamed up some and ate them. They taste kind of fuzzy.
Later, I gave the Dickens a rollercoaster ride in the wicker basket that lives by the fireplace. She had a blast. When it was over she had a tantrum. Being a soft touch, I gave her another ride. When it was over she had a tantrum.

Sunday...

We now have a green dryer, and a whole load of spotty green clothes. They look like they have the pox. One green crayon unnoticed in a pocket can sure wreak a lot of havoc.
Jen got me a new shirt, which is orange. The Iguana thought it was a big carrot and tried to eat it.
Willow has her first cold, given to her by The Dickens. Poor snuffly little girl.

cds I listened to while wondering who was the first to figure out that Stinging Nettles were edible: Raksha Mancham "Phyidar" and "Chos Khor", Therion "A' Arab Zaraq Lucid Dreaming" and Tarentel "From Bone to Satellite"

I missed the excitement. The Dickens, feeling the creative urge, decided to paint with her own waste. I was at the store with the boys. By the time we got back home, The Dickens was already in the bath. Not to be outdone, Willow created some small works of art using only regurgitated milk. Jen became a walking art gallery. So did the soapdish, of all things.

And now, without further ado, here's some record reviews courtesy of Nathan:

Nurse With Wound "Sugar Fish Drink": It sounds like peeing and eating glass.

Mirror "Die Spiegelmanufaktur": Pots and pans!

Mirror "I Paint for Love of Color": It sounds like some junk being thrown down a cliff.

Nurse With Wound/Stereolab "Simple Headphone Mind": Buzzing guitars and other stuff.

cds I listened to while being relieved that I don't have to write reviews for them: Tarantel - two self titled eps, Present "No.6", Psychic TV "Cold Dark Matter", Rachel's "The Sea and the Bells" and "Selenography", and Throwing Muses "s/t"

The sky is overcast and it's supposed to rain later today. Crickets are chirping in our room, unaware that they soon will be scorpion food. The Dickens noticed my rough, dry hands today and spent a good deal of time examining them and saying, "oweee". Of course, she also found an actual cut and obsessively picked at it until it did hurt. It's wonderful seeing her take such interest in the little, simple things that we older folk take for granted. I took her to the grocery store to get milk and coffee and she spent a lot of time examining the fountain out front and stomping up and down on a nearby grate. She also altered the landscaping a bit by decapitating some flowers. Then we spent some time exploring the fascinating world of wooden pallets. The Dickens insisted upon sitting on each one.

Speaking of hands and sitting - when Willow is unhappy in her car seat I can just reach her from the driver's seat. She seems to take comfort in clutching a finger. She can barely get her little hands around mine, but has quite a grip.

cds I listened to while trying to remember to take nothing for granted: Mariza "Fado Curvo", Present "Live!", Tin Hat Trio "Helium", Therion "Symphony Masses: Ho Drakon Ho Megas" and "Lepaca Kliffoth", Amebix "Make Some Fucking Noise!", and Tiny "s/t" and "demo"

A long day...

At Hidden Villa two boys fell in the pond, but didn't seem to mind much.
At the museum, I ran into an old friend, with his wife and two young daughters, who used to work at the Youth Science Institute. Does everybody I know have some connection to this organization? We exchanged phone numbers and e-mail addresses. Again. Maybe this time we'll actually contact each other. Maybe.
At home we ran around mopping up after the horde. Willow fussed.
At the paper route, the papers were late so we threw papers at each other. As may be guessed, our aim is pretty good. Later, the guy who likes his paper in the bushes came out and told me that he has a positive outlook. Then he shook my hand twice. I think he's lonely. Then, Talkative Security Guard #2 told me a funny story about an old woman in a Lincoln town car who was driving on the wrong side of the road and quite lost - at three in the morning. Last night Talkative Security Guard #1 told me that the reason all of the driveways were fenced off was because they were expecting protesters. I don't know if they ever showed.

cds I listened to while rushing to get home but being thwarted by loquacious night owls: Tenebre "XIII", Kari "Calling You/Exile", Tenhi "Hallavedet", "Kauan", and "airut:ciwi", Bathory "Nordland II", Popol Vuh "Cobra Verde", Present "Certitudes", and Therion "Beyond Sanctorum"

The great pagan fertility god known as the Easter Bunny visited our house over the weekend, littering it with many kinds of eggs, some small and chocolate (or "gaklit", as The Dickens would say...) and some larger and dyed. The kids, not knowing anything about the long and troubled history of this holiday, simply bickered over their loot. The Easter dinner was lovely, and ended as all dinners should, with not one but three desserts. I was so stuffed that I didn't eat again for around eleven hours.

Willow noticed the faerie mobile above the changing table. It stopped her from fussing for a moment or two as she applied herself to the task of making sense of the little floating figures above her head.

cds I listened to while digesting: Pain Teens "Born In Blood/Case Histories" and "Beast of Dreams", Tel Basta "Lickerish", Sweet Savage "Killing Time", dd Synthesis "Swinging Macedonia", and Pharaoh Overlord "#1"

Spring break combined with rainy weather made for a busy week at the museum. People from all over the country, and even further afield, passed through. One boy showed up just so he could hear me play the tin whistle. I always wondered if practicing it while working was entertaining or irritating people. Now I know that at least one person was being entertained. Maybe I should bring my shenai, or better yet, buy some bagpipes. I bet those would go over really well.
Another visitor told another museum worker that she thought I was an excellent storyteller. I like getting this kind of feedback (doesn't everyone?). The trick is to tell stories that you enjoy telling. Improvising helps too. Being silly helps even more.

We bought crustless bread for the boys, and lo and behold, they left little rinds of bread on their plates. Maybe eating all the way to the edge of a sandwich is taboo.

The Dickens made me wear sunglasses today, and then proceeded to lecture me at length about something or other. I couldn't understand what she was trying to get across to me, but her facial expressions were priceless. She can scowl so well.

When we have a carpool, we literally have a carpool. Still no word on how much it's all going to cost.

cds I listened to while eating crustless bread all the way to the edge: Downriver "Rememory", Tiny "Harbinger", Oxbow "The Balls in the Great Meat Grinder Collection", Tel Basta "Laid up in Lavender", Pain Teens "s/t", and Sweet Savage "s/t" (bootleg with two 7"s and some live stuff that sounds like it was recorded using a tape recorder placed under a mattress at the bottom of a well)

The weather has been "unsettled" over the last few days. A couple of evenings ago we were treated to a beautiful pinkish light that washed across our yard, while above the clouds threatened darkly. The temperature has done an about face and is marching back down the thermometer. It has rained a bit, but mostly it just looks like it's going to. Yesterday was tax day and Willow's due date. We had both taken care of well in advance this year. That didn't mean we rested though. There are always kids and pets who need something. The new Rat snake seems to like crapping in his water dish. The not-quite-so-new Rat snake just shed his skin again. The Dickens rubbed an egg yolk into the carpet. Jen said it came up fine after she allowed it to dry. I went to Hidden Villa, the museum, and the paper route. Jen stayed home with the kids. Guess which one of us is more tired.

cds I listened to while yawning: Chu Ishikawa "Bullet Ballet" soundtrack, and "Ductile", David Maranha "Musica #2" and "Piano Suspenso", Stille Volk "Exu-vi", and Sleepytime Gorilla Museum at the Starry Plough, 3/11/00

The job interview went well. The Youth Science Institute offices are home to the same sorts of critters that live at our house - snakes, spiders, scorpions, etc. There is also a wealth of other animal/science related materials. The woman who interviewed me already knew the two people I was going to use as references. That sure makes things easier. Now I just have to wait for the official word. They're going to send out letters through the mail to all potential new and returning teachers, and figure out who will end up going to which park. If I get the job (and I really don't see why I wouldn't) I won't start until the first week of june, so I have some time yet to keep my late hours.
After the interview, Jen and I let the kids play at the park. I pushed The Dickens on the swings for a long time. I just love seeing her so happy. It's much better than seeing her throw things off the counter or drop appliances into the bathtub. Maybe we should get a swing set for the backyard...

cds I listened to while realizing that if I quit one route I won't have as much time to listen to cds: Solstice "Halcyon", David Maranha "Circunscrita", Carla Kihlstedt "2 Foot Yard", Sonic Violence "Transfixion", Andre Maranha ") gargula (gargalo)", and Stille Volk "Hantaoma"

now: Pantaleimon "Change My World"

We all scattered our separate ways this weekend. Jen went to get a haircut (which looks beautiful). Willow went with her, but since she barely has any hair, didn't get a haircut herself. The boys and The Dickens went north with their dad. I went to San Francisco with M. to see Angels of Light perform, first at Amoeba, then at the Bottom of the Hill.
There is a frog who lives in the barbed wire enclosed garden next to the Bottom of the Hill. He didn't seemed bothered by the soundcheck, and sang happily into the night. M. and I arrived much too early, as usual, and ended up at the coffee shop up the hill. Twice. The second time in the company of Dawn. Then we descended to the Bottom of the Hill and witnessed a rather boring opening band, followed by Devendra Banhart, who is an odd man. It's as if Jesus were to stumble while descending for the second coming and bounce on his head the rest of the way down, colliding on the way with the soul of the dearly departed Tiny Tim. The end result is hypnotic, humorous, and haunting, usually all at once. Banhart has never left his childhood, it seems. His lyrics have a strange, self-contained logic full of innocence and playfulness. They sound utterly strange coming from an adult. It is like what a three year old would sing if blessed with an adult vocabulary. I mean that in a good way.
Michael Gira, who once fronted Swans and now fronts Angels of Light, comes across like a man who never had a childhood. I've always respected him for the way he strips himself to the core for his audience. They managed to be wrenching and powerful using mainly acoustic guitar, bass, and some sort of lap steel guitar. No drums. None needed. The songs built to throbbing crescendos and died away again into the silence. There were even a couple of Swans songs in the set, including the wonderfully uplifting "Failure". An evening well spent, I say.

When I got home I discovered a cd that I'd ordered had arrived in the mail. It was in a box that was too large and heavy to contain just a cd. I opened it and discovered that in addition to the cd there was a pamphlet of poetry and some maple syrup! Now that's what I call value for your money. Upon reading the note contained within, I discovered that the extras were meant to compensate for the inadequately bottled dandelion wine I'd been sent last year. Still, it's nice to get unexpected things in the mail. Syrup is much better than wine anyway. So is poetry.

We bought a new phone today to replace the one that The Dickens gave a bath.

cds I listened to while working for less: Solitude Aeturnus "Adagio", Osso Exotico "Musica #1" and "Church Organ Works", Solstice "New Dark Age", Roy Harper "Once", and Varttina "iki"

Just for chuckles (for me, at least) here's some recent Google searches that led to my page:

irr app oac
Nurse with wound salt marie celeste (2)
Savina Yannatou sings manos hadjidakis (2)
choral drama of singapadu village
tanzanian tailless whipscorpion
sui vesan mp3 (2+)
arco transparency
ulver lycantropen
tarantula hawk
saw thoat indestroy
what did the moon look like for the month of march

My day was neatly bookended by a pair of interactive moments with toads.

At the museum, towards the start of my shift, I placed our resident toad on the little table in the Early Childhood Center. There were two little boys, each about three years of age, in the room. The first boy ran up, touched the toad, and jumped back in surprise. He had thought it was a toy. The second boy remained in his mother's lap across the room and could not be coaxed to come near the table. He even seemed a little worried. After a few minutes, his mother cleared up the mystery of his seemingly abnormal fear of toads by explaining that they were visiting from Australia - a country that, for those of you who don't know, is overrun with Cane toads. Cane toads, for those of you who care, are quite toxic, especially if you happen to be a child or a family pet. This poor little boy, being Australian, had been repeatedly instructed to keep away from toads in much the same way that a citizen of the U.S. would be instructed to leave the snakes with rattly tails alone. There was just no way he was going to come touch the toad. The toad, to his credit, didn't seem to care.

While out delivering papers, towards the end of my route, I glanced out my window and saw a poor little toad, standing on tiptoe, trying in vain to reach the top of the curb so he could hoist himself into the wet darkness of the ivy. I stopped my car, got out, and helped him to the top of the curb. He crawled gratefully into the ivy.

cds I listened to while assisting amphibians: Skepticism "Ethere" and "Aes", Chrystal Belle Scrodd "Beastings" (I met her once, and she picked me up. Literally.), Ordo Equitum Solis "Signs" and "Metamorphosis Personam Impono", and Orplid "s/t"

While waiting for newspapers to arrive, we cleaned out the loft above the makeshift office at the drop site. I've never seen so much dust. We managed to toss down a bunch of old boxes that somebody evidently used to move kitchen items in at one point. Then came the table legs. Then some large tables. Then a trash can lid and a box or two of what looked like computer parts. Then something that looked like it had once been a heater of some sort. Now all that is left are all of the rubber bands we've shot up there over the last couple of years. Oh yes, and more dust.
Since the new space is smaller, things are being given away. I figured that since we don't have enough crap in our garage already, I'd take a few things home. The dry-erase bulletin board may come in handy if I can actually get it clean. The official Dow Jones computer keyboard may end up replacing the one I'm typing on right now at some point in the not too distant future (the "j" key only responds to repeated jabs of the finger...). The cell phone, which I was assured really works, will probably get given to the kids to play with. What else...? I can't remember if I grabbed anything else.

Nate hung out with me before work again tonight. He says he likes "hanging out" and asked to listen to the same record we listened to last night. I think he just needs some individual attention without one of his siblings upstaging him. Of course, that can be said for all of the kids. When I hang out with Nate (and The Dickens, who joined us for a while), then Jen can read Return of the King to Lexy without constant interruptions from the less sophisticated members of our family.

Willow is beautiful. So is Jen. Goodnight.

cds I listened to while driving around with trunk full of junk: Frankie Sparo "Welcome Crummy Mystics", Ordo Equitum Solis "Paraskenia" and "Hecate", Wakeford - Stapleton "Revenge of the Selfish Shellfish", Skepticism "Stormcrowfleet", and Nurse With Wound "Large Ladies With Cake in the Oven"

I led a tour group of pre-schoolers around the farm at Hidden Villa yesterday. They got to see two new lambs - newer than the new lambs from last week. I balanced a chicken on my head for awhile, and then carefully lowered it to the ground. One of these days this will backfire and something will come firing out of the back of the chicken and into my hair. I hope it isn't soon. While inspecting the cows, one of the kids was comparing cow sounds to the sounds made by his dad while asleep. Then one little girl spoke up, "I don't have a daddy. Only a mommy."
How does one reply to this? This little girl has been cheated out of one half of the parental equation. It doesn't really matter why. It's always sad to hear the very young make statements like this - they're so honest and understated about these kinds of things. That one sentence contained so much. Maybe it's the simplicity of it that strikes me.
I looked down at her and said, "and I'm sure she loves you very much, doesn't she?" What else could I say? Then the kids discovered the great equalizer - cow poop. The moment of seriousness passed like an illusion.
But I remembered it.

Later, Nate and I went out to look at the moon. It's still a crescent. Inside, we listened to the record I got in the mail today. Nate said he liked it. I know I did.

cds I listened to and liked: Ordo Equitum Solis "Solstitii Temporis Sensus", "Animi Aegritudo", and "O.E.S." mini cd, Coil "Live Four", Scorpions "Lonesome Crow", Sepultura "Roots Bloody Roots", and Skepticism "Lead and Aether"

I have a job interview next monday, although the position I'm after doesn't pay much. I've decided to work, at least for the summer, for the Youth Science Institute. In order to make enough money, I'm going to have to at least partially hang onto my other jobs as well. We'll see how it goes. I wish I could just find one full-time job that interests me AND pays the bills. Health benefits would be nice too. As it is, it will be a mad scramble to make it all work. I feel more alive already. That said, I think I'll go to sleep now because I have to get up early to go to Hidden Villa.

cds I listened to while scrambling: Ordo Equilibrio "The Triumph of Light..." and "Conquest, Love & Self Perseverance", Greg Weeks "Slightly West", A Tribute to The Scorpions (or most of it, anyway - I'll admit to skipping a few songs...), and Nurse With Wound "Live at Bar Maldoror"

Wonder of wonders, the children's playroom is clean. It only took us most of sunday afternoon to dig down to the floor and sift through the rubble. What fun. I've also finally updated my resume, and hopefully I'll get to put it to use before too long.

We got another new snake, due to the fact that K. and M. are snake magnets, and are given more snakes than they know what to do with. The snake is a Yellow Rat snake (although it was given to them as a "Desert Rat snake") and is about the same size as the Yellow Rat snake I used to own - four feet, give or take a few inches.

The nights have been kind of cold and tonight there were some beautiful, delicate clouds rippling across the sky. There have also been an increased number of ducks. You can't spit without hitting a duck, but since they're waterproof, it doesn't matter much. Like spit off a duck's back.

cds I listened to while expectorating in the general direction of waterfowl: Saturnus "Paradise Belongs to You", Orchis "A Thousand Winters" and "Mandragora", Scorn "Vae Solis" and "Ellipsis", and Circle "Alotus"

The thinnest of crescent moons graces the sky and rain is falling. Winter has decided to stay a bit longer.

At the start of the next pay period, I will be making 25% less money delivering papers. All of a sudden the job has become less appealing. I've been thinking about possible alternatives, and I may have it figured out. A little bit of this. A little bit of that. In a way, it's kind of exciting. My hand is being forced. This needs to happen sometimes because I tend to keep jobs forever otherwise. So many changes... and I'm not just talking about diapers either.

cds I listened to while planning my next move: Stina Nordenstam "Memories of a Color", Diana Obscura "s/t", Of The Wand And Moon "Nighttime Nightrhymes", Omala "Germ", Orchis "The Dancing Sun", and The 150 Murderous Passions "s/t" (NWW & Whitehouse)

I haven't been paying close attention to the news lately. When war breaks out... I mean, when some asshole starts a war, I find that I can't take any news reports at face value (not that I can otherwise on a regular basis either), and the news reports that aren't pure propaganda are often just too distressing. As usual, all of the people calling the shots are safe behind walls and bunkers and the people who had nothing to do with the "reasons" behind the war are getting mowed down. And don't give me that bullshit euphemism, "collateral damage" either. It's not damage, it's death. Innocent people are having their lives ripped apart. Many of the soldiers are just scared kids.

I've seen a car a couple of times with the words "fuck Iraq" and "defend our country" carefully printed out on little placards in the rear window. Since the words aren't smeared by drool or horribly misspelled, I'm guessing that the driver probably had help from his mom or dad. I wonder what he thinks we should defend our country against? Oh yeah, that soundbyte word - "terrorists". Bombing countries doesn't get rid or terrorists, it just helps create more of them. And the word, "fuck"... how classy. This guy's link is definitely missing. He probably has sweaty dreams about Rush Limbaugh. Ooops. BAD mental picture.

cds I listened to while being upset with the state of the world: Saint Vitus "Die Healing", Klaus Nomi "Eclipsed - the best of...", Non "God & Beast" and "In the Shadow of the Sword", Saturnus "Martyre", and Sleepytime Gorilla Museum at the Bottom of the Hill 3/17/00

now: Arco "Transparency"

The new baby sheep at Hidden Villa must be getting all of the attention, because the sheep who is missing half a horn has all of a sudden become uncharacteristically affectionate. She sidles up to visitors and thrusts her head out imploringly. Of course, the majority of the visitors pay no attention to her. Poor sheep.
It was cold today, and it rained off and on. The lizards all stayed indoors. Garth told me that he spotted a Horned toad over the weekend though. He sat really still and watched it eat ants.
Tonight, a cat who is missing half a tail came up to me and demanded that I pat him. How could I refuse? But what is it about animals with bits of themselves missing that draws them to me? Two in one day.

The Dickens is currently asleep in the middle of the hall.

cds I listened to while wondering where the other half of the tail went: Savina Yannatou "Sings Manos Hadjidakis", David Corter "Didgeridoo Mania", Negativland "U2", Nocturnal Emissions "Tharmuncrape an'goo" and "Stoneface", Saint Vitus "Born Too Late" (and with seventies hair, no less...), and Nurse With Wound "Salt Marie Celeste" (made me feel like I was in an ocean liner on the ocean floor),

So there I was, sitting on the playground and minding my own business, when a seven year old boy looked up at me and asked the question. "Why do you have seventies hair?" Oh the tragedy of it all. He had noticed my horribly out of date hair. Whatever shall I do? Should I rush out to the barber shop? Maybe I can trade up a decade or two. How about some nineties hair? What the hell does nineties hair look like anyway? What should hair for the new millenium look like?

At least I wasn't wearing seventies pants.

And I was waylaid by that damn talkative security guard tonight. I don't care if his wife is young enough to be his daughter. I really don't.

cds I listened to from under my retro hair: Urna "Hadood", Nurse With Wound "A Sucked Orange", Saint Vitus "V", and "Live" (they have a thing or two to say about the seventies...), and Nina Nastasia "Dogs"

Willow went on her first real outing today. Jen and I took her to Hidden Villa. The temperature hovered around 80 degrees and we could smell the blossoming plant life all around us. The creek rushed and burbled down through the farm and away towards the bay. Quail and Robins played. Newts floated serenely in the pond (all except the one I briefly caught, who acted affronted and flopped pointedly back into the water). Banana slugs, who have to be the least camouflaged creatures on earth, lurked off to the side of the trail. Willow slept curled up in Jen's sling, and everybody who passed us remarked on how small she was. A couple walking the other way, with a two week old son, stopped and chatted for a moment. It's funny to think that Willow, who will be five weeks old tomorrow, should actually be about a month younger than this little baby, but due to circumstances beyond our control, is older. We got some good pictures (hopefully) of her in the natural light up on the hillside. On the way back to the van we stopped to look at the new baby lambs.

Tonight, the customer who likes his paper in the bush admitted to hitting the brandy and offered me a Pepsi. I politely declined, as I had a Thai iced tea in the car. Much better than Pepsi.

cds I listened to while drinking Thai iced tea: The Moon Lay Hidden Beneath A Cloud "The Smell of Blood but Victory", The Moonlighters "Dreamland", Mourning Cloak "Beyond", Sadness "Evangelion", and Psi Vojaci "Narod Psich Vojaku"

now: Popol Vuh "In the Gardens of Pharao/Aguirre"

Yet another work week grinds to a close, with no information on what my pay is going to be reduced to. I did find out where the offices/drop site is moving to though. Were moving several doors down, into a smaller space - all in an attempt to cut costs. If I was smart, I'd be using this time to update my resume.
Tomorrow I have to get brakes for my car - something I do every two or three months. That is one more drawback of my current profession. It chews up cars and spits them out. I don't even know how many miles I've driven mine - the odometer (along with the speedometer) obstinately refuses to budge. Maybe I'll get that fixed tomorrow too. Maybe I'll see if they can figure out why the *check engine* light is on. Maybe I'll finally get somebody to disable the airbag light - although after three years I've managed to totally tune it out.

Willow has grown three inches in a month. Beat that.

I saw a small owl tonight, but it ignored me.

I'm going to go read for awhile now.

cds I listened to while being ignored by owls: Nurse With Wound "Spiral Insana", Roy Harper "Valentine", Sadness "Danteferno", The Moon Lay Hidden Beneath A Cloud "Were You of Silver, Were You of Gold", Deutsch Nepal/TMLHBAC "A Night In Fear", Nurse With Wound/Stereolab "Crumb Duck", and Deutsch Nepal "Comprendido!...Time Stop!"

The newspapers were three hours late tonight. Something up at the printing plant must have, in the words of Nathan, "busted off and disappeared."

cds I listened to while waiting for papers: Uli Jon Roth "Hendrix Happening" and "Transcendental Sky Guitar", The Moon Lay Hidden Beneath A Cloud "A New Soldier Follows the Path of a New King" and "Rest on Your Arms Reversed", Calexico "Aerocalexico", and Sadness "Ames de Marbre"

I've been delivering the Wall St. Journal at night since 1988. How's that for an admission? This is both a blessing and a curse. When I move on, which I will soon be doing, potential employers will no doubt be impressed that I've had the same job for fifteen years. This shows that I am dependable and loyal. Potential employers, after they are done being impressed by my non-flakiness, will notice that, yes... I have been a paperboy for a decade and a half. That just doesn't sound good, does it?
It has been a comfortable job and it pays well. It leaves my days and weekends free (the Journal only publishes five days a week). The only problem is that the mortally wounded economy has finally started to take its toll on the jobs that service the swiftly disappearing high-tech firms. Subscriptions are down. The company I work for is not making money. They're cutting our pay. I'm not sure how much the pay cuts are going to be, but I should know by the end of the week. This obviously makes the job less attractive. Up until now, the healthy paycheck helped make up for the stigma of the job description. Up until now.
Tonight, I had an interesting exchange with a customer:
CUSTOMER: (as I hand him his paper over the fence) "Is it convenient for you to deliver the paper like this?"
ME: "It doesn't matter to me. Where would you like it?"
CUSTOMER: (indicating bush) "Throwing it in this bush would be fine."
Now, why can't I have more customers like this?

cds I listened to while wishing I could throw all of the papers into the shrubbery: Roy Montgomery "And Now the Rain Sounds Like Life is Falling Down Through It", Tarantula Hawk "Live at KFJC 07/15/01", The Moon Lay Hidden Beneath A Cloud "s/t" and "Amara Tanta Tyri", Uli Jon Roth/Electric Sun "Earthquake", "Firewind", and "Beyond the Astral Skies", and Mirror "Eye of the Storm"

Later today, Willow will be exactly a month old. Her face is getting chubbier and she is awake/alert more often now. She weighs 5 lbs, 2 ounces. It is getting hard to remember what life was like before she came along. It seems like she has always been here.

I have to get up early to go to Hidden Villa, so I'll stop here.

cds I listened to while traveling thither and yon: Mogwai "EP + 2", Ragnarok (UK) "Domgeorn", Jocelyn Montgomery with David Lynch "Lux Vivens (Living Light) - the Music of Hildegard Von Bingen", and Rainbow "Live in Europe" (... oh please save us from extended guitar and drum solos...)

The van is still filled with detritus left over from this weekend's Irr.App.(ext.) performance. I suppose I shall clean it out tomorrow. The show, which was held at the Temescal Arts Center in Oakland, went even better than we expected it to. People actually showed up and payed money to see the show. The various things that had gone wrong during rehearsals had all been ironed out by the time we did the performance in front of the audience. We had made some last minute changes that improved things too. The scorpions behaved wonderfully as I persuaded them to walk over the microphone. R. danced around in the darkness beyond the table with the glowing scorpions while G. projected a film onto his white coat. M. tied up the audience and gave them gifts. R. gave the audience sandwiches. All of the various cords, bulbs, and instruments worked as they were supposed to, although I managed to crack my nose flute in my enthusiasm.
There were a lot of familiar faces in the audience. There was even a guy I hadn't seen in nearly fifteen years. The two Dans were there. The first Dan is the kind of guy who would give you the shirt off of his back. The second Dan (who, as G. put it, could probably fit inside the first Dan) is the kind of guy who would dribble sauce on the shirt given to you by the first Dan, and then throw it away before you discovered it had been soiled so he wouldn't get blamed for it. It's hard to believe that they share a name.
After the show, after the applause and the chatter had died down, we were treated to a picnic by Dawn McCarthy, who is always thinking up that kind of thing. If anybody reading this is interested in further details, follow the link to the OAC site where, at some point, photos and/or sound samples may appear.

cds I listened to while doing what I do: Mediaeval Baebes "Undrentide", Nurse With Wound "Who Can I Turn to Stereo", Sleepytime Gorilla Museum at the Bottom of the Hill, 2/23/01, Mirror "Nights", and Tarantula Hawk "Desert Solitaire"

Here it is nearly 4 in the morning and only Lexy and The Dickens are asleep. Nathan is awake because he had a bad dream about being kidnapped, Jen is awake because Willow is awake, Willow is awake because she's a baby and babies do that, and I'm awake because I'm always awake at this time. Oh yeah, and a cricket is awake - I think it's the one who lives amongst the towels.
I was awake to early this morning because the vent people came to vacuum out our heating vents. It really makes a difference. There must have been a hell of a lot of dust in there because, as Jen pointed out, they now blow about five times as hard. Oh yeah, and while I was awake listening to the people vacuum out our vents, The Dickens wandered in and blew a train whistle at me and finished her little concert by throwing something at my head. She's so cute. I wish I didn't need to sleep - it would make things so much simpler. ... but I do, so that's it for now.

cds I listened to while yawning: Pyogenesis "Waves of Erostasia", Miranda Sex Garden "Fairytales of Slavery", "Carnival of Souls", and "Tonight/Sex Garden", Ragnarok (UK) "To Mend the Oaken Heart", Rage & Symphonic Orchestra Prague "Lingua Mortis", Winfred E. Eye "s/t" and "The Day I Lost My Sea Legs", and Mediaeval Baebes "Salva Nos"

So, we're at war. Bombs and missiles are ending lives. Each one of these deaths is a knife twisted into the soul of a loved one. The wound festers and gives birth to a bright new hate which is aimed right back at the country that gave birth to the people who dropped the bombs and fired the missiles in the first place. And this is supposed to solve what problem? This is supposed to prove what? Why do I even have to remind people that wars don't solve problems? They only exacerbate them.
Here's a scenario I'd like to see: George Bush and Saddam Hussein both tried for crimes against humanity, and through a clerical error ending up as cellmates. Justice doesn't get more poetic than this.

On a related topic, I still have to stop at the little guard booth every night before entering the property occupied by a large, unnamed weapons manufacturer. They've gotten used to seeing me, and all of them now just wave me on through. All except one. This one guy, even though he has seen me many times, still insists on seeing my driver's licence. Is he really that stupid? Is he so afraid to show any personal initiative or individual thought that he wouldn't dream of saying to himself, "that's the same delivery guy who drives through here every night, so I'll just let him through without hassling him." ??? Does he see different things on my driver's licence every time he looks at it?
Tonight I made an exasperated face at him and he got defensive and told me not to give him any crap. That made me mad, so I gave him crap. Then I felt a little better.

And I saw one of those big, safe S.U.V.s the other day - completely upside down. I didn't look like any other cars were involved in the accident either. When the people inside recover from their injuries (assuming the accident wasn't fatal) I hope they go purchase a more sensible vehicle.

cds I listened to on the first day of war: Primordial "Spirit the Earth Aflame" and "The Burning Season", Miranda Sex Garden "Madra" and "Suspiria", Tattle Tale "Sew True", Ray's Vast Basement "On the Banks of the Time", Storm and Her Dirty Mouth "s/t", Kap "Feed Me", and The Katharine Chase Band "The Truth"

For some reason I couldn't get online in the middle of the night, so I am forced to blog under the rays of the sun. Last night the moon was full, as if it had consumed to much. It creaked and groaned across the sky and lit my way quite nicely.

The Dickens has decided that she likes sitting on top of my head. The only problem is that when I try to put her down she screams. I finally got her to redirect her attention to something else, but it didn't last too long. She pointed to the top of my head and said, "ride". After back in place, she politely thanked me.
Willow seems to like sleeping strapped in on top of the changing table. It is about the same size as the little bed she slept in at the hospital. Maybe she feels safe that way. She is nearly lost in her crib. It would be like an adult trying to go to sleep in a room the size of a backyard.

cds I listened to while hoping the moon wouldn't throw up on me: Wretched "Lotta Per Vivere", Miranda Sex Garden "Sunshine", "Play", and "Peep Show", Zygote "A Wind of Knives", Antony and Current 93 "live at St. Olave's" (I was in the audience, but was so tired that I thought I saw a ghost. Maybe I really did...), Praying Mantis "Live at Last", and Better Dead than Read - compilation

Okay, let's see if things work the way they're supposed to tonight. If you're reading this, that means they have.

We're slowly adjusting to living in a house with four children. Willow is at her most content when she is in somebody's arms. We juggle her back and forth a lot, although I'm slowly figuring out how to do just about everything one handed. Jen is still much better, and has prehensile toes to boot. Willow now weighs very close to five pounds (she may indeed be five pounds by now) and her face is looking a bit chubbier.

and now, a list of things recently purchased that will make life easier:

Bunk bed. It was put together with a bit of sweat and a small amount of cussing, but the kids have taken to it fairly well. No more mattresses on the floor for us.

Coffee pot. The old coffee pot started emitting the smell of fried wires and then just refused to brew anything - this after either not staying on or not staying off at the correct times for a month or two. The new coffee pot is quite high end. This is good. Coffee is good.

Wind scorpion. Okay, I'm not sure how this will make life easier, but it sure is cute. It's much smaller than the last one I had, which means that it will probably live longer. The last one now graces a piece of art created by M. for his art show at Aquarius records next week. It is wearing a little party hat and is posed so that it appears to be looking excited at the prospect of cake.

cds I listened to while enjoying the almost full moon: Days of the Moon "The Words and Music of David Mellor" and "The Prince", What Happens Next? "The First Year", Paradise Lost "Say Just Words", Current 93 "The Seahorse Rears to Oblivion", and Mental Measuretech "Songs From Neuropa"

Just for the record - the whole concept of "freedom fries" is about the stupidest thing I've ever heard.

Dammit! I'm having the same problem that Jen had. I wrote a rather lengthy post and then couldn't get it to publish. Something fishy is going on here. Here's the gist of it: I got a new bug. The kids got a new bed. We rehearsed for a show. Willow is cuter than you. I listened to a bunch of cds.

It is windy and slightly rainy tonight. Jen and Willow are asleep in the bed behind me, so I'm trying to type quietly. Last night Jen got barely any sleep, and I stayed up until 5:30 in the morning holding Willow so Jen could quiet down The Dickens. I watched a Frida Kahlo documentary I've had for years but for some reason had never gotten around to watching. She couldn't have kids due to a bus accident that (among other things) fractured her pelvis, and a some of her art reflects this longing for a motherhood that she could never experience. I've always felt drawn towards artists who channel their pain into their art - it is brave and honest, and... necessary. Willow mostly slept through it. We're discovering that she is perfectly content when cradled in our arms, but tends to squirm and fuss when put down. We're perfectly content holding her, so it's a good match. The only problem is that there are so many other things (and people) that need our attention. A case in point is The Dickens, who continues to teach us about the transitory nature of ownership. The most recent lesson involved a coffee mug I've had for years.

Earlier tonight I almost tripped over a duck who alerted me just in time by quacking at me. Moments later I got back in my car and listened to a sad song about a duck. How odd.

cds I listened to while avoiding waterfowl: Odetta "Best of the Vanguard Years" and "To Ella" (remember, you cannot almost sing), Upright Citizens "Underground", Mecca Normal "The First Lp", The Sun Also Rises "s/t", Malvina Reynolds "Ear to the Ground", Boiled In Lead "Orb", and The Wyld Olde Souls "Poems From the Astral Plane"

Willow is home and sleeping in a crib in our room. The other kids crowded around excitedly when we walked through the door with her, and The Dickens even licked her. Of course, she also licks dogs. So much for cleanliness. Now, in the wee hours of the morning, The Dickens is awake, and Jen hasn't gone to sleep yet. Somewhere a cricket is chirping. I have a feeling I should try to get some sleep now. I am happy.

cds I listened to while rushing to get back home: Ofra Haza "Shaday", Mecca Normal "Who Shot Elvis?", Odetta "Sings Ballads and Blues", Total Egon "Samling I Det Grona", The Billy Nayer Show "The Ketchup and Mustard Man" soundtrack, and Paradise Lost "The Last Time"

now: Popol Vuh "Bruder des Schattens - Sohne des Lichts"

There was a light misting of rain on my windshield tonight, which was nice, but I hope it doesn't rain too much tomorrow because it looks like we get to bring Willow home. It can rain all it wants after she's firmly ensconced in our room, but it wouldn't do at all for her to get rained on between the hospital and here. We've got a crib set up for her next to our bed, and Jen's friend K. is giving us a bunkbed for the boys. We thought that this was so nice of her that we went out and bought her a Bearded Dragon to replace their household's recently deceased one. The store we bought it from packed it up in one of those little chinese food takeout boxes. Strange but true.
Earlier, we went to Costco to get bedding, and The Dickens had a gleeful time charging up and down the aisles, dodging carts and growling to herself. I don't think she would have had more fun if we'd taken her to an amusement park.

I had a funny moment today when I realized that somebody I'd been trading e-mails with was actually somebody I knew using an assumed name. I'm not allowed to say more.

Willow, your eyes are liquid blue pools, the depths of which I cannot fathom. In them there is a hint of the beyond. It will fade as you become more firmly anchored in this reality, but the sheer wonder you see around you does not have to fade with it. Hold onto your sense of wonder. Always.

cds I listened to while being misted by rain: Mecca Normal "Sitting On Snaps", "Jarred Up", and "The Eagle and the Poodle", Kristin Hersh "The Grotto", Subhumans "29:29 Split Vision" and "Unfinished Business", Ofra Haza "Fifty Gates of Wisdom", and Tongue "Faulty Parts"

now: Popol Vuh "Nosferatu"

Willow might be coming home this week! She's out of her incubator (or isolette, as they're called) and is gulping down everything that is fed to her. We've been rushing around trying to get things ready. Very exciting. It's going to be a busy week.

cds I listened to while trying to figure out what else needs to be done before Willow comes home: Tom Rapp "A Journal of the Plague Years", Mecca Normal "Flood Plain", Paradise Lost "Gothic" ep, For The Dead In Space - Interpretations of the work of Tom Rapp and Pearls Before Swine, Strebers "kallt Stal/Varmt Blod", and Ofra Haza "Kirya"

Now: Faun Fables "Early Songs"

A Cheshire Cat moon hangs above.

Willow continues to grow bigger (she's back up to 4 pounds, 6 ounces) and stronger. She has been finishing her bottles at the designated feeding times, and is showing interest in her surroundings. Tonight, after she finished eating, she spent some time just looking around. Who knows what she makes of her surroundings - she seemed to be looking at the overhead lighting. She also looked at me, of course. It's amazing to cradle her in my arms while she tries out her eyes and her facial muscles. Her mouth changes from a smile to a little pout to an "o" of surprise and back again. It's sort of like she hasn't figured what all the buttons do yet. She'll learn.
She sucks on her bottle with more tenacity now, and doesn't lose interest. Earlier in the day she nursed and used the bottle. Jen has been pumping milk like crazy to keep up. We did manage to take a little break between feeding times and go see a movie - David Cronenburg's "Spider". If you've ever wondered how that haunted-looking guy who's muttering to himself while picking miscellaneous objects off the sidewalk got the way he is, this film offers one possible scenario. Very recommended.

Earlier this weekend I talked briefly with a friend (who I probably see about once a year) who had recently gotten hit by a car. She still stutters due to nerve damage sustained in the accident. I remember when I heard about her being hit I thought that if she had been more seriously injured (or worse) I might not have heard about it for a long time, if ever. It would be like looking up at the stars and seeing their reassuring light, even though some of those stars we "see" might actually have gone supernova during the vast span of time that it takes their light to reach the earth. One perceives that everything is all right until news to the contrary reaches one's ears. If the news, for whatever reason, never comes, then... well, I guess this would be a case of "ignorance is bliss". That said, I'm glad she escaped with only minor injuries.

I also managed to find the time to go on a hike with M. in the woods near his house. This was during the time that we had set aside to rehearse for the upcoming Irr.App.(ext.) show, but G. and R. decided to pick this weekend to become ill. Perhaps next weekend things will work out.

cds I listened to while light from stars that may or may not still be there shone down upon me: Forrest Fang "Gongland", Magma "Les Voix" and "Mekanik Kommandoh", Strebers "Oga For Oga", Pearls Before Swine "Constructive Melancholy", Univeria Zekt "The Unnamables", Vladimir Martynov "Night in Galicia", and Voivod "s/t"

now: Howard Shore "M Butterfly" soundtrack

The Neonatal Intensive Care Unit is a strange environment to spend one's first days in. Some of the babies are under Bili Rubin lights to combat jaundice. All of them are hooked up to monitors. Some have feeding tubes. Some are in incubators. This is the world that replaces the womb, since for one reason or other they can no longer be in the comforting, liquid darkness inside their mothers. Jen was telling me of a story she heard about a little girl (I think it was a girl...) who had spent the better part of a year in the N.I.C.U. before being sent off to the pediatric ward. The little girl, nearly one year old, had never seen anything but the N.I.C.U., and was very excited to see her new home away from home. It's all relative, I guess. These babies don't know any other world. They just recline in their plastic substitute wombs, waiting unknowingly for the day when they get to move beyond the walls into the world outside the hospital.

Willow is opening her eyes more, but lost an ounce - probably due to all the energy she has to expend to suckle. It's going to be a long month.

cds I listened to while rushing to get back home: Holy Smokes "s/t", Lydia Lunch "Widowspeak", Faraway Brothers "Start the Engine & Drive Away", and The Stalin "Stop Jap + 1 Mushi Go Go" (another bootleg of hard-to-find japanese punk...)

now: Nocturnal Emissions "Mouth of Babes"

I went to the hospital for Willow's 8 o'clock meal and managed to get her to drink about a third of it. The rest went through her feeding tube, which goes up her nose. She got her little fingers hooked around it a couple of times and managed to pull off some of the tape. It must be pretty uncomfortable. She squirmed and cried a bit as the nurse re-taped it, and then didn't go back to sleep right away. She just looked around a bit, and as I looked back I caught a glimpse of the little girl she'll be someday. She looks a bit like Sophie somehow, although I can't put my finger on exactly why I say that. I didn't leave until she closed her eyes again. I just couldn't. I sat there and rubbed her back until she felt comforted (or until I felt she felt comforted anyway).

The nurse asked me what her middle name was, and I said that we hadn't decided on whether or not she would have one. The nurse said that in the Philippines where she was from the children all got the mother's maiden name as their middle name. That way the mother's family name got carried on in some fashion. You learn something new every day. I told her that for a time in Germany it was legal for a man to take his wife's last name. Of course in the U.S. nothing this interesting ever happens. Culturally, we're a third world country.

cds I listened to while continuing to think about Willow: The Angels of Light "Everything Is Good Here/Please Come Home" (appropriate title), Low "The Curtain Hits the Cast", K./Low split ep, Lucifer Was "Underground and Beyond" and "In Anadi's Bower", Lydia Lunch "Honeymoon In Red", and The Stalin "Stop Jap + Go Go Stalin"

now: Lustmord "The Place Where the Black Stars Hang"

We visited Willow today (of course) and I got to take off my shirt and lay her against my chest, warming her with my own body the way nature intended it to be done. She's so light I could barely feel her. She is totally dependent on those around her for everything. It's funny how in our particular society most people raise their children to be independent when it seems that the natural state of things is interdependence. I suddenly think of a book I read once - the title was (if I remember correctly...) My Name is Chellis and I'm in Recovery From Western Civilization, by Chellis something-or-other. It's hard to divorce yourself from your culture. How do you raise a child without the insidious influence of the dominant culture? We limit ourselves by accepting the status quo. I want things to be better for Willow. As of yet she is unaware of the world around her. How long will she hold on to the dreamtime? How can we weave the dreamtime into reality? How long will the wonder last?

We're going to have to add a carseat to the van. Nathan gets to graduate to a booster seat and The Dickens gets Nathan's old seat. It seems that The Dickens feels she deserves a window seat. We shall see...

And how to change the sleeping arrangements at home...?

cds I listened to while thinking of Willow: Low "Christmas", "One More Reason to Forget", and "Things We Lost in the Fire", Tom Rapp "Sunforest", Spazz "La Revancha", As We Die for... Paradise Lost (tribute cd), and Low/Dirty Three "In the Fishtank"

now: Robert Rich/B. Lustmord "Stalker"

The operating room, with its lights and arcane gadgets, was full of hurried activity. Jen was on the table, with a screen between her head and the rest of her body so she couldn't see the operation. I walked up and held her hand. The nurse (or doctor?) who stood at the head of the bed motioned towards a chair behind her and told me that I might want to sit in it because people had been known to faint while watching c-sections. I told her that I was staying right where I was. I wanted to see our daughter being born. I wanted to stand witness to the procedure. I wanted to be right next to Jen.
She was awake, but could feel nothing but a slight tugging from below her torso. She asked me what I could see. They had already started the operation, and were moving quickly. they had covered her abdomen in that yellow plastic (surgical skin? I don't know what it is called...) and had already cut into her. I could see a cross section of skin and tissue where the lower half of the incision gaped open. The doctors stretched her open wider. I saw her water break and gush out, pooling on the plastic. The doctors' hands were inside her and then there was a baby being lifted out. Just like that. They whisked the baby into the next room and I followed, knowing that Jen was in good hands. This was my first glimpse of our daughter. She didn't look premature, even though I knew she was. Her head was round, not squished like it would have been if she had been delivered naturally. She was crying - a series of gurgly little cries that indicated there was fluid in her lungs. The fluid would have been squeezed out during the process of moving through the birth canal, but hadn't been in this case since she had been lifted through a different exit. A trio of nurses pounded on her back with what looked like little rubber suction cups, and siphoned fluid from her nose and mouth. The cries began to sound less phlegmy. They finally got to a point where they were satisfied, and took her off to the neonatal intensive care unit.

She weighed 4 pounds and 9.8 ounces at birth, and measured in at 16 inches. She was born at 5:55 pm on tuesday the 25th of February. Her name is Willow. It all happened so fast. I stood there dazedly while a nurse explained to me about the table they were putting her on - heated but not an incubator, and about the room itself. There were other babies there. Some where much smaller than Willow.

So, why did this all happen? It turned out that Jen had an abrupted placenta - it had come loose in a couple of places and was bleeding, which compromised that baby's blood supply and could have been really serious for both Jen and the baby if not checked. She pointed out some time later that if this had happened early last century there was a good chance that they both would have died. As it is, we have a daughter who will be in the hospital for a few more weeks. She has a touch of jaundice, can't regulate her temperature very well, and needs to put on some weight. She spends roughly 99% of her time sleeping, and when she wakes up she looks like a little gnome. She is really good at knitting her little brow and giving the world a look of consternation - sort of the look you'd expect a gnome to bestow upon you if you ever came across one behind a rock or under a bush. It's a look that says, "I've been discovered and I don't know if I'm happy about it." When I look back at her I marvel at the fact that she was supposed to be inside Jen for another six or seven weeks. Her eyes don't really focus on anything. It's as if they are still turned inward, seeing mysteries from some previous world. I imagine that Willow has a wisdom that can't be communicated.

Maybe her middle name should be "Gnome". Somehow I don't think Jen will go for it.

In order for us to visit Willow now, we have to spend three minutes scrubbing our hands and arms in a little washroom and put on a hospital smock over our clothes. A couple of days ago the man at the next sink turned to me and said, "I know you." It turned out he was an old co-worker of mine from way back when I worked at Tower Books. My main memory of him was of the time one of the bookshelves in the back room, loaded with books, fell over on top of him. By the time I arrived on the scene, other employees had lifted it off and he was lying on his back in a pile of children's books. But that was then, and this is now. Now he weighs a hundred pounds less (this is why I didn't immediately recognize him) and had a granddaughter sleeping in the little bed next to Willow's. We also share the same first name.

I wore a shirt to the hospital yesterday that depicted a pair of smoker's lungs - a photo of real, blackish, diseased lungs with the caption "smoking is cool!" underneath. I figured it would go over well with the hospital staff. It did. On the way out a rather humorous thing occured. A man, in an attempt to cadge a cigarette, asked if I smoked. Some people's powers of observation are a little... what is the word I'm looking for... absent.

Jen came home today. She is really unhappy over the fact that Willow is still in the hospital. So am I, of course, but Jen is really feeling it. We're going to spend as much time there as possible, which isn't as much time as we would like. The other kids make that difficult. My jobs make that difficult. We are slightly consoled by the fact that Willow spends most of her time sleeping. She is not crying and searching for us. She is snoozing in her warm little bed. That actually sounds like a good idea...

cds I listened to while thinking about Willow: Nurse With Wound (strangely enough, there is a nurse with a wound in the maternity ward - she has a bandage over one of her eyes) "A missing sense" (if the nurse had bandages over both of her eyes, she would indeed be missing a sense...), Love is Colder Than Death "Atopos", Low "Dinosaur Act", "Last Night I Dreamt That Somebody Loved Me", and "Secret Name", Le Mystere des Voix Bulgares "A Cathedral Concert", Philippe Eidel and Arnaud Devos/Les Voix Bulgares de L'ensemble Radio Sofia "Balkan", Pearls Before Swine "Balaklava", Bee and Flower "What's Mine is Yours", and Low & Springheel Jack "Bombscare"

now: Unblocked disc 2: From the Danube Through the Carpathians

Last tuesday Jen called me at work and said that the bleeding that had been mystifying us for a couple of days had gotten worse, and that she wanted to go have it looked at. She sounded worried, so I left work and drove quickly home. I met her in the driveway. Our friend Diana was there to drive her to the hospital (at this point I still thought she was going to go have a simple sonogram). I followed them in my car to Valley Medical Center where we bypassed the emergency room, electing instead to go directly upstairs to Labor and Delivery. We explained our problem and were seen quickly (by hospital standards). A lot of the staff remembered her from her previous stay in December, so they already knew a bit about the history of the pregnancy. It felt like a bad kind of deja-vu. They saw us in the same triage room we had been in last time, one bed over. The bleeding was copious enough to worry them and it was determined that is was not coming from the cervix, but through it from the inside - most likely from her placenta. The doctors started talking about c-sections, and the feeling of deja-vu grew more intense. At least this time we were closer to the baby's due date. Our hopes of having a home birth were dashed, and before we knew it Jen was being wheeled down the hall to an operating room. I was going to be able to witness the operation, but had to get into hospital scrubs. I found myself in a little supply room where I struggled into the necessary garments. Through a gap between some shelves I could see out the window as the sky began to darken in preparation for the oncoming night. On a shelf behind my I noticed boxes containing something called "skin staplers". Out in the hall I could hear a nurse (or perhaps a doctor) discussing the operation, calling it "another c-section". I wanted to walk out there and introduce myself to her as Another C-section's husband, but thought better of it. I reminded myself that what was hopefully a once-in-a-lifetime event for me was probably a several-times-a-day occurence for them. Then a nurse rushed in and told me they were ready to begin the operation. I dropped the bag containing Jen's clothes, pulled on a mask that was hastily handed to me, and rushed into the operating room... (to be continued)

I spend most of my time here writing about inconsequential things, in part because I habitually type entries right after getting off work. I think I will save the story of Willow's birth for the weekend when I'm less tired (right...) and have more time. My head is still spinning. It was cloudy on her birthday, and raining tonight. Some trees are in bloom. Fears of economic disaster and war fill the papers. ... and Mr. Rogers is dead. R.I.P. Fred Rogers. Now I must sleep.

The first cds I listened to after becoming a father: Coil "live at the Sonar Festival, Barcelona, Spain" and "Live in NYC, August 18, 2001", Life Garden "Pry Open my Mouth with the Red Knife of Heaven" and "Ahitanaman", Paradise Lost "Icon" and "As I Die", Le Mystere des Voix Bulgares "3", and Mary Lou Lord "Got No Shadow"

now: Forrest Fang "The Wolf at the Ruins"

Welcome Willow, who showed up unexpectedly early and sleeps a lot. More to follow...

It has been raining all night, wetting the inside of my car and causing my automatic locks to play tricks on me. Tomorrow I work all three jobs in a row with a meeting tacked onto the second one. Hooray!
The first job of the day is Hidden Villa, and will be my first farm tour of the year. If only I could get them to pay me. It's kind of funny how the kind of jobs that one is willing to do for free often don't pay anything anyway. Some day I'll find a job that satisfies me both spiritually and financially. I will! Don't think I won't!
I looked at some teaching websites yesterday, and I'm going to look some more when I get a moment. I'm going to fix my resume as well. But now I'm going to sleep.

cds I listened to while getting rained on: The Legendary Pink Dots "Greetings 9 + Premonition 11", Ute Lemper "Punishing Kiss", T.A.C. "Waiting for the Twilight", Eric McFadden "Who's Laughing Now?", Zabe i Babe "Drumovi", and Eve Libertine/Nemo Jones "Skating the Side of Violence"

now: Forrest Fang "World Diary"

I've been hearing frogs singing in the ditches lately. I thought about how single-mindedly oblivious they are - just singing away into the darkness in an age old cycle of reproduction. They will go on singing as long as they are able, even though frogs have been mysteriously disappearing all over the globe. The song of the last frog will sound no different than the songs of his ancestors, but it will be a very sad song nonetheless. That said, the local Tree frogs seem to be hanging on pretty well, and I love to hear them sing.

We had the second Irr.App.(Ext.) rehearsal this weekend. I'm getting pretty excited about this. It should end up being both visually and aurally interesting. Maybe people will even show up for the evening. Matt has made some flyers which should draw the right kind of people. The fine print says "no mendicants".

The rest of the weekend was largely taken up with work of one kind or the other. I put in an extra shift at the museum on saturday, hauled a desk from my mom's to its current resting place to the right of the computer I'm typing this on, cleaned various parts of the house.... the list goes on. Jen got started on the play room, which looks like somebody picked it up and shook it. Next weekend we'll relax.

cds I listened to while being serenaded by frogs: So Much Hate "Seein' Red", Paradise Lost "Lost Paradise", The Legendary Pink Dots "Malachai - Shadow Weaver Part 2", An Orang-utan Howling For Egg (compilation w/Nurse With Wound, Aranos, Volcano the Bear, etc...), and Tim Eriksen "s/t"

now: Her Song compilation

Jen brought the kids to the museum today for the first time this year. Sophie spent a lot of time at the sand table playing with the colorful little plastic cups and saucers. Nate went on my break with me even though I told him that I didn't have enough pocket change to buy him a soda. This news deterred Lexy, who elected to remain behind.
Another week draws to a close. It is cold outside and I am tired - probably from getting up early to deal with my malfunctioning car a couple of times this week.

I downloaded an Mp3 of me yesterday. Greg put up an Mp3 (on the OAC site) of a brief reading I did before a Sleepytime Gorilla Museum show way back in 1999. Since it was in a pub, people talked throughout, but were at least kind enough to clap at the end.

cds I listened to while... well, while driving around in the dark: Sofa Head "Pre Marital Predicament", Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds "Nocturama" (also came with a fun DVD that we watched part of the other night before the kids came home...), Pagan Altar "s/t", Eric McFadden Experience "Our Revels Now Are Ended", and Cordelia's Dad "Spine"

now: Northampton Harmony "The Hookes' Regular Sing"

The next time I change a bulb in one of my tail lights I will turn it slightly before yanking on it. They just don't make anything like they used to, do they? At least all of the lights on my car work now. It only cost me $80 too.

I bought a couple of new scorpions last friday. My reasons for doing this were as follows: 1) I recently moved the scorpion I already had into a larger cage, and there was room for him to have some companions, and 2) We need scorpions for the upcoming Irr.App.(ext.) show. I took all of the scorpions to the rehearsal for said show on saturday, and they performed well. The three scorpions, after a bit of bickering over who got what hiding place, have settled in to their new digs.
Now, from the vantage point of almost a week later, I have come to the conclusion that the fact that we decided to use scorpions for the Irr.App.(ext.) show has ended up saving their little lives. During the week, the pet store where I purchased them caught on fire and many of the animals were killed. It has not yet been determined how the fire started. I can't even begin to describe the immense tragedy of all of those animals helpless in their cages as flames and smoke surrounded them. My heart goes out to the owners of the store, who are suffering through this first hand as they try to save the injured animals who survived the blaze.

There really isn't a whole lot of good news anywhere these days...

cds I listened to while no longer feeling like a soccer mom: Klangbad - first steps (compilation), Mandible Chatter "Measuring the Marigolds", Cordelia's Dad "Comet", Dead Raven Choir "Armoured Wolves", S.N.F.U. "Something Green and Leafy This Way Comes", Otyg "Sagovindars Boning", and Landberk "Lonely Land"

now: Charlemagne Palestine "Schlingen-Blangen"

I put in a new brake light fuse this morning and gently pushed down on the brake pedal with my hand. Since my head was down near the fuse box I could hear the new fuse break. So much for re-fusing. I took my car to the shop. After a whole afternoon of waiting (and getting a lot of things done around the house) I was informed that they had gotten out the mangled bulb and restored my brake lights to working order. My tail lights however, remain nonfunctional. Tomorrow I'll try the auto electric specialists. Tonight I did the route in the minivan. Slow and comfortable.

I do have some other things to write about, but they'll have to wait because I'm going to sleep now so I can get up bright and early to try to get my car fixed. That just sounds depressing doesn't it?

cds I listened to while feeling like a soccer mom: Mandible Chatter "Drinking out the Hourglass", Landberk "Indian Summer" and "One Man Tells Another", S.N.F.U. "The One Voted Most Likely to Succeed", and Sopor Aeturnus "The Vampire Sucking at his Own Vein"

now: Nurse With Wound/Aranos "Acts of Senseless Beauty"