I spend most of my time here writing about inconsequential things, in part because I habitually type entries right after getting off work. I think I will save the story of Willow's birth for the weekend when I'm less tired (right...) and have more time. My head is still spinning. It was cloudy on her birthday, and raining tonight. Some trees are in bloom. Fears of economic disaster and war fill the papers. ... and Mr. Rogers is dead. R.I.P. Fred Rogers. Now I must sleep.

The first cds I listened to after becoming a father: Coil "live at the Sonar Festival, Barcelona, Spain" and "Live in NYC, August 18, 2001", Life Garden "Pry Open my Mouth with the Red Knife of Heaven" and "Ahitanaman", Paradise Lost "Icon" and "As I Die", Le Mystere des Voix Bulgares "3", and Mary Lou Lord "Got No Shadow"

now: Forrest Fang "The Wolf at the Ruins"

Welcome Willow, who showed up unexpectedly early and sleeps a lot. More to follow...

It has been raining all night, wetting the inside of my car and causing my automatic locks to play tricks on me. Tomorrow I work all three jobs in a row with a meeting tacked onto the second one. Hooray!
The first job of the day is Hidden Villa, and will be my first farm tour of the year. If only I could get them to pay me. It's kind of funny how the kind of jobs that one is willing to do for free often don't pay anything anyway. Some day I'll find a job that satisfies me both spiritually and financially. I will! Don't think I won't!
I looked at some teaching websites yesterday, and I'm going to look some more when I get a moment. I'm going to fix my resume as well. But now I'm going to sleep.

cds I listened to while getting rained on: The Legendary Pink Dots "Greetings 9 + Premonition 11", Ute Lemper "Punishing Kiss", T.A.C. "Waiting for the Twilight", Eric McFadden "Who's Laughing Now?", Zabe i Babe "Drumovi", and Eve Libertine/Nemo Jones "Skating the Side of Violence"

now: Forrest Fang "World Diary"

I've been hearing frogs singing in the ditches lately. I thought about how single-mindedly oblivious they are - just singing away into the darkness in an age old cycle of reproduction. They will go on singing as long as they are able, even though frogs have been mysteriously disappearing all over the globe. The song of the last frog will sound no different than the songs of his ancestors, but it will be a very sad song nonetheless. That said, the local Tree frogs seem to be hanging on pretty well, and I love to hear them sing.

We had the second Irr.App.(Ext.) rehearsal this weekend. I'm getting pretty excited about this. It should end up being both visually and aurally interesting. Maybe people will even show up for the evening. Matt has made some flyers which should draw the right kind of people. The fine print says "no mendicants".

The rest of the weekend was largely taken up with work of one kind or the other. I put in an extra shift at the museum on saturday, hauled a desk from my mom's to its current resting place to the right of the computer I'm typing this on, cleaned various parts of the house.... the list goes on. Jen got started on the play room, which looks like somebody picked it up and shook it. Next weekend we'll relax.

cds I listened to while being serenaded by frogs: So Much Hate "Seein' Red", Paradise Lost "Lost Paradise", The Legendary Pink Dots "Malachai - Shadow Weaver Part 2", An Orang-utan Howling For Egg (compilation w/Nurse With Wound, Aranos, Volcano the Bear, etc...), and Tim Eriksen "s/t"

now: Her Song compilation

Jen brought the kids to the museum today for the first time this year. Sophie spent a lot of time at the sand table playing with the colorful little plastic cups and saucers. Nate went on my break with me even though I told him that I didn't have enough pocket change to buy him a soda. This news deterred Lexy, who elected to remain behind.
Another week draws to a close. It is cold outside and I am tired - probably from getting up early to deal with my malfunctioning car a couple of times this week.

I downloaded an Mp3 of me yesterday. Greg put up an Mp3 (on the OAC site) of a brief reading I did before a Sleepytime Gorilla Museum show way back in 1999. Since it was in a pub, people talked throughout, but were at least kind enough to clap at the end.

cds I listened to while... well, while driving around in the dark: Sofa Head "Pre Marital Predicament", Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds "Nocturama" (also came with a fun DVD that we watched part of the other night before the kids came home...), Pagan Altar "s/t", Eric McFadden Experience "Our Revels Now Are Ended", and Cordelia's Dad "Spine"

now: Northampton Harmony "The Hookes' Regular Sing"

The next time I change a bulb in one of my tail lights I will turn it slightly before yanking on it. They just don't make anything like they used to, do they? At least all of the lights on my car work now. It only cost me $80 too.

I bought a couple of new scorpions last friday. My reasons for doing this were as follows: 1) I recently moved the scorpion I already had into a larger cage, and there was room for him to have some companions, and 2) We need scorpions for the upcoming Irr.App.(ext.) show. I took all of the scorpions to the rehearsal for said show on saturday, and they performed well. The three scorpions, after a bit of bickering over who got what hiding place, have settled in to their new digs.
Now, from the vantage point of almost a week later, I have come to the conclusion that the fact that we decided to use scorpions for the Irr.App.(ext.) show has ended up saving their little lives. During the week, the pet store where I purchased them caught on fire and many of the animals were killed. It has not yet been determined how the fire started. I can't even begin to describe the immense tragedy of all of those animals helpless in their cages as flames and smoke surrounded them. My heart goes out to the owners of the store, who are suffering through this first hand as they try to save the injured animals who survived the blaze.

There really isn't a whole lot of good news anywhere these days...

cds I listened to while no longer feeling like a soccer mom: Klangbad - first steps (compilation), Mandible Chatter "Measuring the Marigolds", Cordelia's Dad "Comet", Dead Raven Choir "Armoured Wolves", S.N.F.U. "Something Green and Leafy This Way Comes", Otyg "Sagovindars Boning", and Landberk "Lonely Land"

now: Charlemagne Palestine "Schlingen-Blangen"

I put in a new brake light fuse this morning and gently pushed down on the brake pedal with my hand. Since my head was down near the fuse box I could hear the new fuse break. So much for re-fusing. I took my car to the shop. After a whole afternoon of waiting (and getting a lot of things done around the house) I was informed that they had gotten out the mangled bulb and restored my brake lights to working order. My tail lights however, remain nonfunctional. Tomorrow I'll try the auto electric specialists. Tonight I did the route in the minivan. Slow and comfortable.

I do have some other things to write about, but they'll have to wait because I'm going to sleep now so I can get up bright and early to try to get my car fixed. That just sounds depressing doesn't it?

cds I listened to while feeling like a soccer mom: Mandible Chatter "Drinking out the Hourglass", Landberk "Indian Summer" and "One Man Tells Another", S.N.F.U. "The One Voted Most Likely to Succeed", and Sopor Aeturnus "The Vampire Sucking at his Own Vein"

now: Nurse With Wound/Aranos "Acts of Senseless Beauty"

Jen mentioned to me last night that my left tail/brake light was out, so I pulled the bulb out... and managed to leave the bottom portion of it firmly attached. After mauling it with a couple of pairs of pliers, I gave up. When I started my car to go to work, I noticed that my dashboard lights had joined the strike. An hour or later, I discovered that all of my rear lights were nonfunctional. I finished the night with my hazard lights on, and thankfully saw no cops, except for one who looked like he was thinking about pulling me over but changed his mind. Upon arriving home I looked at my fuse box, consulting the owner's manual as I did so. In the little diagram it indicated that I should use the thoughfully provided fuse puller to extract fuses for inspection. Of course, the space where the fuse puller was supposed to be was quite empty. So instead of going to Hidden Villa tomorrow I'm going to be scrambling about in an attempt to fix my car. Grumblegrumble.

cds I listened to in the flashing glare of my hazard lights: Saw Throat "Indestroy", Laibach "NATO" and "Jesus Christ Superstars", S.N.F.U. "The Last of the Big Time Suspenders", Keuhkot "Vasen ja Oikea", Otyg "Alvefard", and Cordelia's Dad "How Can I Sleep?"

now: The Tear Garden "To Be An Angel Blind, The Crippled Soul Divide"

It was warmer tonight, and threatened rain. The sky was full of interesting clouds at sunset.

My speedometer and odometer are getting lazy. I have to drive for ten minutes or so before they'll deign to work. I can just see myself getting pulled over during that first ten minutes and the cop asking me, "do you know how fast you were going?", to which I'll truthfully reply, "no, I have absolutely no idea."
My *check engine* light has been on for most of the week too. Maybe my car senses that I'm about to pay it off.

I have a three day weekend! No work on sunday night! I'm working at the museum on monday though. Double pay makes this attractive.

cds I listened to while not knowing how fast I was going: Rudimentary Peni "Pope Adrian 37th Psychristiatric", Mandible Chatter "Grace", Calla "Televise", Orphaned Land "El Norra Alila", and Laibach "Opus Dei"

now: Landberk "Riktigt Akta"

It rained a bit tonight, and moisture hung in the air.

I made up another batch of that glue/powdered soap/water concoction today. I then added white paint and shaving cream to it. The kids at the museum loved it, and soon there was white glop everywhere. One little boy, no more than three years of age, held up a double handful of rubbery, gluey mess and proclaimed, "it looks like a placenta!" It turned out that his younger sister had been born at home. Just like Sophie. That gave me an idea for a more spring themed activity (right now we're doing winter themed ones) Since spring is a time of births, we could add some red coloring to the concoction and all of the kids could gather 'round and make their own placentas! It would be a great learning experience for everyone! All of those kids who were born in hospitals need to know this stuff...

This, of course, is why Ginny (our early childhood education guru) always looks a bit dubious when I say I have an idea.

cds I listened to while being moist: Raw Power "Reptile House", Woven Hand "s/t", Tracy Chapman "Telling Stories", Rudimentary Peni "Cacaphony" (still the best musical H.P. Lovecraft tribute out there...), Martin Simpson/Jessica Ruby Simpson "Band of Angels", Cordelia's Dad "Roadkill", and Laibach "The John Peel Sessions"

now: Cliff Martinez "Kafka" soundtrack

Jen got a whole bag of these neat little hand-warmers sometime before Christmas from the mother of one of Lexy's classmates. They work on the same principle as the wheat bags we have floating around the house - you put them in the microwave for a couple of minutes and then soothe your aches away with soft warmness. I finally remembered to take one of the hand warmers to work, thinking that it would be nice to have out there in the cold february dark. Once at work I discovered that somebody had taken the carousel out of the microwave, and that somebody else had evidently had a little trouble keeping their coffee in the cup while heating it (the coffee maker bit the dust a month or two ago...) I looked around for something to put between the hand warmer and the puddle of coffee inside the microwave. In the end, I stuffed it inside a coffee cup and started heating it. It promptly caught on fire, sending smoke out into the room. I turned off the microwave, removed the charred cup holding the even more charred handwarmer, went to the bathroom and doused the whole mess with water. Oh well... at least we have more of them.

cds I listened to while wishing my hands were warm: Raw Power "Burning the Factory", Amalia Rodrigues & the History of Fado, Tracy Chapman "New Beginning", and Laibach "The Occupied Europe Tour 1985"

now: Simon Fisher Turner "The Garden" soundtrack

The mercury, with the help of some kindly clouds, has climbed a bit. There was a beautiful sunset, seen between buildings, yesterday evening. During the afternoon I bought a black light and a couple of sundews. The black light is for the scorpion, who phosphoresces greenly under its influence. It is to be used for the upcoming Irr.App.(ext.) show. By the coating of dust on the box, I could tell that it had been sitting on the shelf at the store since the mid Seventies. The sundews are for the little fruit gnats that are so populous inside our house. Or should I say that the fruit gnats are for the sundews? Carnivorous plants - the natural cure for pesky insects.

I tried to buy a book on sunday while we were up in San Francisco, but was told that the last copy in stock was on hold for somebody. They informed me I could special order it, so I filled out a card and we left the store. Little did I know that the book was actually on hold for me. Hours later, when we arrived home, there were a couple of messages on the machine. The first one was from the bookstore, saying that the book was on hold for... my brother. The second message was from my brother, and contained a fair amount of laughter (which, in truth, had nothing to do with the first message, but the juxtaposition of the two messages was amusing). Subsequent phone calls revealed that he had ordered it with the intention of giving it to me as a present for Christmas. It had arrived too late. How silly.

cds I listened to while not wearing a scarf: Laibach "M.B. December 21, 1984" and "Krst Pod Triglavom - Baptism", Raw Power "Wop Hour", Iron & Wine "The Creek Drank the Cradle", Mandible Chatter "Hair Hair Lock & Lore", Der Eisenrost/C.H.C. Systems demo tracks, and Orphaned Land "The Beloved's Cry"

now: Nurse With Wound "Soliloquy for Lilith"

The moon is halfway there, and it is cold. The little guard shack is back at the entrance to the building complex that houses the company I won't name here. This morning it was populated by not one, but two guards. Maybe they get lonely. They looked a bit like Laurel and Hardy. They could use the time in between harassing paper carriers to perfect a comedy routine or something. Maybe tomorrow night I'll get the Three Stooges. I hope I don't get a double poke in the eyes.

Speaking of comedy routines. We went and saw Culture Clash at the San Jose Rep on saturday. This is the kind of comedy that makes me laugh - the socio-political kind. They were masters of the costume and accent change as well. It's good to see anti war, pro-humanity themes being performed upon the stages of our backwater little burg. Some of it was quite poignant.

Oh, and we're now at orange, which is only one step away from red. I think they came up with this stupid color code so the little Bush could understand things without having to ask an aide. It's sort of the presidential version of those cash registers in fast food restaurants that show pictures of food items on the keys so that the employees who can't read or count can successfully operate them.

Sunday was fun too. All in all, a good weekend.

cds I listened to while being irritated by security guards: Mikhail Alperin "Prayer", Ratos de Porao "Cada Dia Mais Sujo E Agressivo", Laibach "Ljubljana-Zagreb-Beograd", Tracy Chapman "Matters of the Heart", Tenhi "Vare", and Ninewood "American Salt Lick"

now: Nurse With Wound "The Swinging Reflective"

Another weeks winds to a close. It's still cold outside (relatively speaking) and the sky is clear.

Since I'm so obsessive about listing the cds I listen to, I thought I'd list some of the books I've read recently:

Robert Aickman - The Collected Strange Stories Vol. 2
Michael Moore - Stupid White Men
Count Stenbock - A Secret Kept
Robert McCammon - Speaks the Nightbird
Thomas Ligotti - Sideshow and other Stories

I'm currently reading Tapping the Dream Tree by Charles de Lint. We're still in the process of reading Lord of the Rings to Alexander. It's too bad Nathan is just a little too young to be interested in the story - he just wants to hear the parts with Aragorn. He has also developed a habit of getting all restless and wiggly at bedtime, and often has to leave the room so everybody else can prepare for sleep. Maybe we'll have to read the whole thing every few years so all of the children can experience it. That would be fun. We'd probably end up knowing the whole book by heart.
Jen and I were talking about books the other night - I mentioned that I tend to peek at people's book shelves and cd racks whenever I find myself in a previously unvisited house. This is the closest I get to being a snoop. You can tell a lot about people by their choices of reading and listening material. Perhaps the hypothetical visitors to this site (outside of the people who already know me) will be able to get in some good snooping time by reading my obsessive little lists.

cds I listened to while thinking of other things to make lists of: Laibach "s/t", Ratos de Porao "Periferia - 1982", Carolyn Hester "The Tradition Album", Sviraj "Ciganine" and Frankie Armstrong "Till the Grass O'ergrew the Corn"

now: Michael Nyman "The Piano" soundtrack

It figures...

A couple of days ago I noticed that the Powers That Be had erected a shiny new yellow neon crosswalk sign to preside over their freshly painted new crosswalk. It was one of those signs that could be seen from a half mile away, so bright did it shine... Then, today as I drove home from work I noticed that at some point over the last day or so some genius had not stopped at the crosswalk. The shiny new sign lay on its face, with a big dent in its pole. They're going to have to erect stronger signs if they want them to survive the mean streets of our little community.

cds I listened to while stopping at crosswalks: Opeth "My Arms, Your Hearse", and "Still Life", Nurse With Wound "Thunder Perfect Mind", The Black Lily Sisters "Night With Her Train of Stars and Her Gift of Sleep" and one that I really don't know the title to because, like many Americans, I am sadly monolingual., Yma Sumac "Legend of the Sun Virgin", and Carolyn Hester "s/t"

now: Santa Sangre soundtrack

I did a little searching around, and discovered that the title of the Black Lily Sisters cd mentioned in the last post is "Saigo Wa Tenshi". The internet is a wonderful tool. I still have no idea what it means though.

Leaves are gathering atop the squirrel, forming a blanket that will never keep him warm. Elsewhere and slightly later, I saw a gopher being hounded by two very interested cats. The mostly black cat kept rushing up to the little rodent and nearly getting his nose nipped. The tan and white cat hung back a bit, choosing to let his compatriot do all of the dirty work. I contemplated an attempted rescue, but decided that it was not my place to interfere. The cats, after all, have to eat - and from the look of things, the gopher was holding his own. I'm sure it didn't last though. Gophers are slow moving, and this one seemed a bit confused about what to do.
Later still, I was on the freeway and for the second time in my life I hit a raccoon. I saw a split second of brown movement and then came the impact. Just another in a long series of little lives lost to traffic. At least it was fast. I think I'd rather go like that than be played with by a couple of cats. Not that we ever have a choice.

cds I listened to while meditating on mortality: Kukl "Holidays in Europe" and "The Eye", Nurse With Wound "Second Pirate Session", Sui Vesan "Sui", and The Black Lily Sisters (aka Les Soeurs De Lilis Noires) "s/t"(? - again, my inability to read japanese may be hiding the title from me)

now: Howard Shore/Ornette Coleman "Naked Lunch" soundtrack

The squirrel was still there, but had been kicked aside like yesterday's paper. It's still cold, and the moon is a fingernail paring.

We brought in the two bookcases that have been gathering dust in the garage. Unkie Jay helped us. We then managed to completely redo the front room, and I'm really happy with the way it looks now. The bookcases are still mostly empty, but the possibilities of what we can do with all of that extra shelf space are intoxicating. I'm looking at the piles of cds in the corner by the bed... Or perhaps books... or videos... At any rate, it's one more thing we can cross off our "to do" list. I think I'll do that right now. Hold on... And now, glowing with a sense of accomplishment, I think I'll go read the new Thomas Ligotti book I got in the mail the other day.

cds I listened to while wishing somebody would do something about that little dead squirrel: Dulce Pontes "O Primeiro Canto", Scott Kelly "Spirit Bound Flesh", Kirvasto "Taydellisia Kysymyksia, Taydellisia Vastauksia", Ninewood "New Can of Ice", and G.I.S.M. "SoniCRIME TheRapy" (holy shit! This will peel the skin off your ears... brought all the way back from Japan by my friend Jeff. Thanks Jeff.)

now: Kodo vs Yosuke Yamashita "In Live"

It was cold and clear tonight, and looks like it will be so for the rest of the week. There was a dead squirrel in a parking lot, looking like he had decided to take a nap. Poor little guy.

Matt, Greg, and I got together for a preliminary rehearsal for the upcoming Irr.App.(Ext.) live debut. We tootled away on our tin whistles and plotted and planned. It was decided that we needed more scorpions, so Matt and I went to East Bay Vivarium to inspect their supply. They had a really cool Goliath Bird-eating spider, and a Hissing scorpion, and a Thai something-or-other Edible spider (very pretty), but they all had red dots on their enclosures, which means that they are aggressive and/or toxic. Not good pets to own around kids. Same goes for the Beaded lizard, which I hadn't known was legal to sell, since they are venomous. He was cute though, looking for all the world like the Doggie in the window that wants to go home with you. The fact that he was venomous and priced at $1500.00 meant that he stayed where he was. Of additional interest was the Trans Pecos Rat snake, who looked just like the rat snake currently sleeping in the cage next to the computer. I had thought he was a Black Rat snake - now I think he's a Trans Pecos Rat snake. Only he knows for sure.

The continuing soundtrack to my labors: Neurosis "Sovereign", "Locust Star", and "A Sun That Never Sets", Opera IX "The Black Opera: Symphoniae Mysteriorum in Laudum Tenebrarum", Andrew King "The Amfortas Wound", Lo'Jo "Boheme de Cristal", Steve Von Till "As the Crow Flies", and King Crimson "In the Court of the Crimson King"

now: Africa - Music from the Nonesuch Explorer Series